Pastor takes leave over messages with woman who’s not his wife in Texas. ‘I fell short’
A Texas pastor is taking a leave of absence after his church learned of frequent messages between him and a woman who is not his wife.
“In this case, while the messages were not romantic or sexual in nature, the frequency and familiarity of the messages crossed a line,” The Village Church said in an Aug. 28 statement. “They revealed that (he) did not use language appropriate for a pastor, and he did not model a behavior that we expect from him.”
The Village Church says it learned of the messages between lead pastor Matt Chandler and the woman a few months ago. A different woman had approached Chandler with concerns over his Instagram direct messages with her friend.
“I didn’t think I had done anything wrong in that,” Chandler said to his congregation, which was recorded and shared to the Flower Mound church’s website. “My wife knew that, her husband knew that, and yet there were a couple of things that she said that were disorienting to me.”
Chandler said he took her concerns to church elders, and he also let his wife know.
“I fell short,” he said.
The elders hired a law firm to review those messages, and they found his conversations violated internal social media use policies, according to the news release.
“And (the elders) had some concerns,” Chandler said. “Those concerns were not that our messaging was romantic or sexual. It was that our conversations were unguarded and unwise.”
He added that the frequency of his messages moved past a typical brother-sister relationship, and a “familiarity ... played itself out in coarse and foolish joking.”
The elders decided that because a pastor needs “greater awareness” of the boundaries between friendships, Chandler should take a leave of absence. Chandler agreed with their assessment.
“Matt’s leave of absence is both disciplinary and developmental, which allows him to focus on growing greater awareness in this area,” the church said in the statement. “The timeline for his return will be dictated by the expectations the elders have laid out for his development.”
His leave of absence from teaching and preaching began immediately.
“If I’m honest, I’m just really embarrassed,” Chandler said. “I feel stupid. I feel dumb. I feel like I’m embarrassing my wife and kids. Putting a ton of pressure on our staff. I feel like I’ve fallen short for you.”
Chandler said he plans on being the lead pastor of his church for the next 20 years. He has been pastor since 2002.
The Village Church is a Baptist church in the Dallas-Fort Worth metropolitan area.
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