This Paterson teacher is helping her students with an unusual problem: their grief
PATERSON — Teacher Erica Bernard-Parker was leading a lesson about 9/11 when she asked her second graders at School 21 to name a date that was impactful in their lives.
One little boy, Ryan Cropper, told her June 22 — the day a few months earlier when his father had died suddenly.
“I had no idea,” the educator said, recalling her surprise at her student’s response.
As a result, Bernard-Parker started searching for information about helping young children through the loss of loved ones, an effort that in less than two months has helped produce bereavement programs in nine Paterson schools through an initiative funded by New York Life Insurance Company.
Last week, Bernard-Parker and her students gathered in the schoolyard for a balloon release in recognition of Child Grief Awareness Month. The youngsters were asked to write the name of a relative who had died on a slip of paper, which was then attached to the helium-filled balloons.
Ryan and another child put down their fathers’ names, Bernard-Parker said. One student wrote down a sibling. Others paid tribute to grandparents, uncles or aunts. Twelve of the 14 children in the class had a family member who died.
“It’s a time for everyone to feel sad, yes?” Bernard-Parker said to her students, just before they let go of their white and blue balloons. “We can always think of those special memories. And when we’re feeling sad, who can we go to for support?”
“A teacher,” some said. “A parent,” more students said. “A friend,” many more said.
At the count of three, they let go of the balloons, which sailed into the sky.
“Whoa,” exclaimed the youngsters.
As the balloons floated over the school, the children clapped. Some of them raised their arms into the air to wave goodbye.
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Bernard-Parker called the balloon launch a “celebration" and said the program goes far beyond that one-day event. Her classroom has a bulletin board decorated by a cutout sweater each child colored and inscribed with a few words about a favorite memory of a lost loved one. The students have written cards to each other containing words of comfort. The teacher also is building a small collection of children’s books about grief for her class.
Paterson Schools Superintendent Eileen Shafer praised the program.
“These have been particularly hard times for all of us, but most especially for our children,” Shafer said. “Anyone who helps a child cope with the enormous loss of a loved one is truly doing God’s work, and I so greatly appreciate our educators who have chosen to do this work.”
Bernard-Parker has gotten some unexpected assistance with her bereavement program. In September, she was attending a community event at Eastside High School when she ran into Lilian Estrella, whose daughter had been one of Bernard-Parker’s students about 10 years ago.
Bernard-Parker mentioned the boy in her class whose father had died. Estrella told her that she works as an insurance agent for New York Life, which provides grants for grief sensitivity programs in schools.
Estrella, who has lived in Paterson since she emigrated from Peru three decades ago, set up one of the programs at School 21 and then other schools in the city. Her goal, Estrella said, is eventually to have one of the grief sensitivity programs at every school in Paterson.
“I have a mission,” Estrella said. “It’s about affecting people’s lives. I know I can make a change in these children’s lives.”
Joe Malinconico is editor of Paterson Press.
Email: editor@patersonpress.com
This article originally appeared on NorthJersey.com: Paterson NJ teacher launches grief program
