Have you ever been dating someone, and then they did something that, point blank, turned you off IMMEDIATELY?!
Well, recently, Reddit user u/akd432 posted in r/AskReddit asking: "What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?" Here's what people had to say.
1."After dating a woman for a few months, I took her out for breakfast on her birthday with plans to see her again that night. She went completely off the radar only to emerge the next day to confess that she had spent the night in jail for violating the restraining order placed upon her after assaulting her previous boyfriend. I hit the eject button pronto and never looked back. I was completely caught off guard because she held a very prestigious job, had extensive real estate holdings, and presented as squeaky clean."
2."The biggest red flag for me is pursuing someone who loves the attention on themselves, but is not very interested in your life. Basically, drop the pursuit right there and look for someone who is just as interested in you as you are in them."
3."She brought a kid she never mentioned on our date."
4."He made excuses. For. Everything. We could not have one conversation where he did not blame someone else for his own mistakes. I very quickly realized that this inability to acknowledge his mistakes or shortcomings would bleed into the relationship. I could not see myself with someone who acted that way long-term, so I dipped out and encouraged him to do some real introspection. His response, of course, was that I clearly didn't like him that much and didn't 'try hard enough.' Shocking."
5."I went to surprise this girl for her birthday three days after she randomly showed up at my apartment saying she had broken up with her high school boyfriend. We kissed at my place. When I got to her dorm room to surprise her, her ex-boyfriend was in her bed. I pretty much just dropped the present I had gotten her and walked away. I went to go visit a friend I knew was at the same college, but was busy writing a paper, so he said I should go visit his little sister who was at the same college. 27 years later, my friend's little sister and I have four kids and have been married for over 23 years."
6."She yelled at someone at a party for a miscommunication that was no one's fault. I get it, it was frustrating, but she just yelled at this woman for no reason."
7."On date two or three, she had to use my bathroom, and she neglected to flush a substantially-sized poop, and there was no toilet paper, so I guess she neglected to wipe as well. Yeah, that was a dealbreaker."
8."They started flirting with my best friend."
9."A one-night stand developed into dating. It was potentially serious, but then, I found out she was married. Then, she told me she was pregnant and that her husband had a vasectomy several years earlier...and then, she kinda disappeared."
10."She stood me up on my 30th birthday...AFTER she invited ME out of town to celebrate."
11."He hurt my dog. I invited him over after we hit it off, and my dog, being a dog, came up to see this new person. Instead of petting my dog, he responded to this aggressively and said you 'have to show a mutt who's boss.' I told him to get the f*ck out of my house and never come back. I'm still very single, but my dog hasn't been hurt like that since."
12."He genuinely referred to himself as an 'alpha male' and then continued to tell me how much women sucked while we were at a concert with a woman opener."
13."He stopped talking to me after I didn't send him nudes. Turned out he'd asked multiple girls for nudes and then sold the pictures to some of his friends."
14."I realized he was using me for favors. He was always needy, but never there when I desperately needed him."
15."After the second date, he said he couldn't wait to put a baby in me. When I asked if we could get to know each other first, he said he didn’t have time for a six to 12-month courtship. He already knew what he wanted. Anyway, I did let him know I wasn't a womb for hire, and we never talked again."
16."I found out he had been divorced five times by the age of 45."
17."In high school, I was wildly attracted to this girl, and I felt like we were vibing. When I drove her around on our first date, she screamed at everyone on the road. Like, she rolled the windows down and leaned out the car because a dude did a complete stop at a stop sign. It was like that the entire way. Maybe she was stressed? Hangry? Anyway, we ate and went for a walk. She was perfect: witty, charming, had a good sense of humor...she was the first girl I was interested in that could run circles around me in a conversation. I was smitten all over again. However, the amount of rage on the drive home had me wanting to trade my car in. Nope."
18."He turned every joke or sweet conversation into something sexual, which really put me off."
19."On my dating journey, I came across two different men who seemed proud of the fact that they barely saw their children. Instant no for me."
20."Nothing ever happened, but I realized pretty suddenly that he felt the need to make every conversation about him and tried to dominate conversations about any given subject by pulling up some so-called 'expertise' he had on the subject. He couldn't take being shut down when he was talking bullshit and didn't like when someone was more knowledgable than he was."
21."Her place was messy the first time I visited, but it was short notice so I didn’t think too much of it. The toilet was dirty, there were dishes all over the kitchen and in the sink, clothes all over the floor in the bedroom, and bits of whatever on the sheets and carpet. When I went over again a week later, with plenty of notice, it wasn’t any better. I lost interest because I couldn’t feel comfortable in her mess. I can forgive messes once in awhile, but I like a tidy home. Also, I clean up before I have someone over, even just friends, so it kind of felt inconsiderate."
22."I met their friends."
Answers have been edited for length and/or clarity.