We all know the popular saying, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."
Red Table Talk / Via media.giphy.com
Recently, I shared a few examples from people who gave their "I am never cooking for you again" stories, and boy, the BuzzFeed Community did not disappoint in the comments. Here are a few more stories that'll switch you from low to high heat:
1."I had a friend come over with a new girl he was dating. We made a lovely BBQ spread with homemade mac 'n' cheese, a salad, and a cheesecake for dessert. My husband did the BBQ and I did the rest. So we set the table after saying hi and she looks down and without batting an eye, she said, 'I can't eat any of this but the salad.' The friend looked very confused. She went on to say that three days before our get-together, she decided to go back to being a vegan, and didn't our friend NOTICE that she didn't get any meat or dairy when they went out to dinner the other night? OMG, he was pissed and I wasn't too happy, either. She went vegan and didn't tell anyone. Lovely. He said, okay, eat your salad or go get something else, have fun with that. She huffed and tried to make a scene saying WE should have provided more options. EXCUSE ME? Yeah, they stopped dating. But the food was good."
2."I was probably around 12 or 13 when I decided to cook dinner for my family. I made fried chicken breast tenders with some veggies for the sides. It was my dad, his wife, and my two brothers. I had always tried to make my dad proud of me and I wanted to impress him. I cooked it completely alone with no help. The problem came when I decided to use seasoning salt in my breading but overdid it. It was pretty salty but okay if you took off some of the breading. My dad was outside on the porch and I wanted to take him a plate so I could see him take a bite. I warned him it was a bit salty but he could take off the breading if he wanted. He was already grumpy because he was expecting a different kind of chicken, apparently. He took a bite, feigned gagging, and shoved the plate away."
3."My boyfriend’s mom took a bite of the LEMON pie I made for Easter and made a whole scene spitting it out and saying it was disgusting in front of everyone. She said she just doesn’t like lemon. My boyfriend asked her why she even tried it then. I’ve never cooked or baked for her since. If we have to take something to dinner at their house I make my boyfriend buy it from the store."
4."Bearing in mind that I'm a lazy cook, my cousin wanted a carrot cake with cream cheese frosting for his birthday. His mother usually makes it for him, but she and his dad were on holiday so he talked me into making it for him. I bought the ingredients, read the recipe at least 30 times, and did my best. The result? He wasn't happy at all. All because I made it as a tray bake, not 'a cake like his mom's.' I told him that I made him a birthday cake, so please have a bite to show his appreciation. Nope. The fun hoover won't even touch it."
5."For a tailgate party, I made a huge batch of jalapeño poppers with cream cheese inside. I spent all day in the kitchen doing prep work and cooking them in batches. My friend came to watch the game on my big screen TV while I was in the kitchen most of the day making this as well as a corn salad. I happened to walk into the living room only to find a large plate on the coffee table and a huge pile of cream cheese. Turns out, every one of them was on the paleo diet and cream cheese was not on their approved list. They knew I was making this. They knew what was in it and didn't say one thing about it. So, I stopped cooking for them after that."
6."One of my dad's brothers came to visit when I was younger. My dad decided to make a nice dinner since he and his brother live across the country from one another and don't get to see each other often. He went all out — fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and different sides based on what he knew everyone liked. They showed up to the dinner with a huge bag of McDonald's, which was all they ate, with the exception of one of my cousins who was happy to dig in on the stuff my dad had made. He's never cooked for his brother or his family since, and I have to say I'm not inclined to either."
7."I'm a pretty darn good cook. People rave about my cooking. When my in-laws were recovering from a car accident, I would cook them supper, and have my husband take it over. Imagine my surprise, when a few months later, I discovered that every meal I had made them was crammed in their upright freezer untouched. Haven't cooked for them again.
8."I made brownies from scratch, using expensive Ghiradelli ingredients, I think, at Christmas for my ex to take home for him and his daughter. He told me, 'I like boxed brownies better.' Fuck him."
9."Many years ago, I baked my mother’s very labor-intensive Christmas cookies for a friend. Everyone who has ever tried these cookies has asked for the recipe and said they loved them, going back to before I was born. Not my friend. She ate one, and said, 'Do you actually think these are GOOD, or is it more a nostalgia thing for you?' Wow."
10."I made tres leches cake to take to Thanksgiving at my in-laws' house last year. My mother-in-law never makes interesting desserts and wants everyone to bring something, so instead of a side dish, I figured I'd bring something they hadn't had before that is delicious. It's fairly time-consuming to make and requires some ingredients I don't keep on hand. I actually made it twice, as the first cake came out of the oven unevenly. I bring it in and tell her what it is and she makes a face. When it's time for dessert, no one eats it except me and my husband. She makes this gross pumpkin pie that's just a store-bought crust with canned pumpkin and low-fat cream cheese and acts like it's a masterpiece. Everyone eats that — go figure. As we're leaving she tries to give us the leftover cake. I said, 'You didn't get to try it. Have some tomorrow!' Made another face. I ain't bringing shit this year except for my attitude problem."
11."For Christmas dinner, I made manicotti from scratch. Fresh pasta, sauce I simmered for 9 hours, the works. My ex-MIL doesn't like ricotta cheese, so I made her spaghetti instead. I watched her STRAIN my sauce because she didn't like any seasonings, onion, or garlic. I never cooked pasta for her again."
12."We got home from our honeymoon and the first day back to work I had prepared my 'Special Family Meal' for that momentous first dinner as an 'ole married couple.' I served it to him as he sat and watched. I plated the meal and gratefully fell into my chair to enjoy my endeavors. He looked down at his plate, glanced back at me, and looked at it again, this time raising his face with a scowl and said, 'What the hell is THIS?' I escaped to the bathroom where I barricaded myself for the night. I made a solemn promise to myself to NEVER EVER prepare anything 'special' for that man. Eleven long years after, I left his last meal warming in the oven. THAT was a very SPECIAL MEAL FOR ME!"
13."When I make spaghetti sauce it is with fresh ingredients cooked all day and it is delicious. I serve it over capellini. My mother will not touch it. She says she cannot stand spaghetti. My daughter makes spaghetti sauce by taking a jar of store-bought sauce and adding extras to it. It is good but does not compare to my sauce that's cooked all day with fresh ingredients. My daughter makes her spaghetti one day and invites my mother over. My mother raves about how good 'her' spaghetti is. I asked her why she thought that jar spaghetti with added ingredients was so good, and she said because she loves angel hair pasta. I said I always make spaghetti with homemade sauce and angel hair pasta, but she will not even taste it. She said no you don't because angel hair pasta has not been around for very long. No words."
14."I am Chinese American and my mother-in-law is white. I shared delicious homemade food with her that my mother taught me to make in our early marriage days. She talked constantly about how good of a cook I was and would make a show out of how good everything tasted, and then behind my back, told my husband she puked every time I made a Chinese dish on the way home. Of course, he told me right away. I only cook typical white people's food if she is over anymore. Hello, Kraft mac 'n' cheese."
15."I got married when I was super young, 17. My husband was working for his aunt and uncle out of state. We had no money to start out with so when they offered to let us live with them, we were so grateful. My husband and his aunt and uncle would go to work every day and I stayed at the apartment. I tried to do my part, mostly cleaning, but his aunt would always prepare dinner after work. I felt guilty that she still had to cook after working all day, so one day I decided to cook dinner. At this point in my life, I had minimal experience cooking, but I called my mom and asked for one of her recipes. I was so proud of myself when it was done. It turned out perfect! I couldn’t wait to surprise the aunt. When they walked in, she took one look at the food and said the uncle won’t eat that. And he didn’t. He sat around waiting for us to finish, refusing to even taste it."
16."Many years ago at an internship, I brought in a homemade apple pie. It's my family's special apple pie, very labor intensive. We never make the crust, as we are not a crust family. We focus on the filling. When my manager tried it, the only thing she talked about was her recipe for pie crust and how it would be better. She never thanked me for the pie. We now deem people 'pie worthy' and 'not pie worthy.' She was not pie worthy."
17."When I was a teenager, I spent well over 16 hours (across two days) making very intense and special mushroom ravioli. By the end of the process my siblings ate it all and didn't bother or ask to leave any for me. I was so mad I've never made it again."
18."I cooked Christmas dinner from scratch one year, completely by myself because my family was 'busy.' I had a full-time job too, but fine. I made Cornish game hens, wild rice stuffing with apples and cranberries, potatoes au gratin, and Christmas pudding, not to mention that I’d spent the week before making enough cookies to feed a small country so we had some of those too. And not to humblebrag, but it was good. My stepdad decided on Christmas Day to contribute a lasagna. Just your basic lasagna. Guess what everyone raved about all through dinner. They didn’t say a word about my food. I’m still mad and it’s been three years. I don’t do full holiday meals by myself anymore, I tell people that they can help or they don’t eat.
19."My mother has been making chocolate meringue pies for decades for Thanksgiving and last year they bought some from a bakery. My cousin (a 35-year-old man) went on about how that other pie was trash and we should only buy pies now. All the memories of us kids being excited for a pie down the drain because my cousin is a dick."
20."Once had a coworker beg for a plate of the salad I had brought after she kept saying how good it looked (it was). When I asked her if she liked it, she said 'not really' so I haven’t offered to share again since."
21."I shared some food with a roommate once, thinking she would be eating it. Nope, she got a plate of food specifically to feed to her overweight cat."
22."Made dinner for a couple I knew but hadn't seen in a few years. Specifically asked if there were any dietary requirements I needed to know about. Nope, they ate everything apparently. I went all out and bought a bunch of seafood to make paella, and knocked up a huge jug of white sangria. When they arrived and I told them what we were having for dinner I was informed that neither of them drank alcohol and they didn't eat seafood."
23."My husband complained about the appearance of an omelet I served him for breakfast. It has been 17 years and he has not had an omelet served at home since. I make myself omelets and enjoy them when he is not home. I do not mind constructive criticism but whining when breakfast is served because it is not aesthetically attractive enough is not acceptable."
24."All of my coworkers were supposed to come over for dinner and I made a glorious pulled pork. It took hours. I got extra rolls, made two kinds of coleslaw, different BBQ sauces and lots of chips. Not a single one came, just text after text of excuses why they couldn’t make it, all completely last minute when everything was already done. Never again."
25."One year for Christmas, we invited my parents for dinner. At the time, my bestie lived with us. She helped me, but I did 90% of the cooking and prep. The whole time, they complained that dinner was going to be late (5 p.m.) and not a mid-afternoon deal. Once we ate, my mother looked at my friend and said, 'Thanks for supper, I know you did this because my daughter can't cook.' I never invited them for Christmas again."