Picking and choosing our battles – run, hide, fight
As I get older, I continue to learn. If this pandemic has taught us anything, it should be humility of spirit and that none of us are invulnerable. We can all be humbled by anything in a split second.
There is an old saying, “He who fears no man is a fool.” I have heard people make statements like, “I am not afraid of anybody or anything” and “I don’t need anybody.”
Folks, there are lots of people and things we should fear, and we all need others along the way, because humanity is about relationships and humility. No one is ever hurt by maintaining a teachable spirit, and the longer we live, the more we learn.
Because we are human, we can all make mistakes, and we can all be wrong. Maintaining that teachable spirit and remaining humble is important to carry on living meaningful lives.
Reading my morning meditation a few weeks ago, I was especially touched and awakened by a story by writer Leslie Koh, of Our Daily Bread, who recounts his introductory lesson on aikido, a traditional Japanese form of martial arts. He explains that his sensei, or teacher, told them that when faced with an attacker, the first response should be to “run away.” “Only if you cannot run away, then you fight,” the instructor said seriously. It seemed counterintuitive that a highly skilled defense instructor would tell them to run away from a fight. Until the instructor explained that the best form of self-defense is to avoid fighting in the first place. Sometimes avoiding the battle is in itself a victory.
Related to that, I recall years ago as a child, I was watching an old Errol Flynn (those my age may remember him) movie, and in the middle of a sword fight with the villain, the swashbuckling hero turns and runs. The villain then asked him why he was running. His response, “Fight today and run away, live to fight another day.”
Indeed, sometimes heroes must run away or avoid a fight, for in some instances, the victory is in not fighting at all, especially when the possibility of defeat may be a near certainty. If I remember correctly, the hero went away, trained and practiced, then came back to defeat the villain some time later.
Even the training videos on active shooters advise us to “run, hide, fight.” This is the same thing. When confronted by an active shooter, if you can skedaddle, do it, and you may survive. If you cannot run, then fight like hell! Indeed, he who fears no man is a fool. We need to be afraid of those who can kill us.
I say all that to emphasize that we need to pick and choose our battles carefully. Why create conflict or pick a fight when it may not benefit you? As a leader, I have been criticized in the past for avoiding conflict. But I see no reason why we cannot disagree with each other and still move forward. Disagreements are fine, but it is the divisions they create that are problematic. Too often, pride — and ego — get in the way of progress, and we argue for the sake of argument and end up creating permanent and long-lasting divisions and sometimes enmity.
Folks, I like to and want to get along with everyone. If that takes avoiding unnecessary battles, I will avoid them. I will run away or avoid the battle if there is nothing to be gained.
Now, having said that, there are some battles worth fighting, and as the line in “The Impossible Dream” from the musical "Man of La Mancha" goes, “To run where the brave dare not go … to be willing to march into hell for a heavenly cause.”
There are battles that I will fight and even give my life for and others from which I will run. Never let anyone else pick your battles for you; pick and choose your battles carefully, some are worth it and others are not. It takes discernment to decide which is which.
Kojo Quartey is president of Monroe County Community College and an economist.
This article originally appeared on The Monroe News: Kojo Quartey: Picking and choosing our battles – run, hide, fight
