Pint-sized parade predicament: Arkansas vs. RI bicker about St. Patrick's Day procession

A war of words has broken out between St. Patrick's Day parade organizers in Arkansas and Rhode Island over which state has the world's shortest St. Patrick's Day parade.

No, that wasn't a typo. They're not battling over the who marches the farthest in honor of Ireland's patron saint or even who has the oldest, but who takes the shortest stroll before or after settling down for a meal of corned beef and cabbage paired with perhaps a pint or two of Guinness.

For two decades, Hot Springs, Arkansas, has been boasting of "The World's Shortest St. Patrick's Day Parade," but then three years ago, folks in Little Rhody's tiny village of Adamsville created "The World's Shortest St. Paddy's Day Parade."

Steve Arrison, CEO of Visit Hot Springs, acknowledges that the Adamsville parade is shorter, at 89 feet compared with 98 feet, but he says Hot Springs is set to take whatever steps are (not) necessary to keep the record.

They'll do anything to keep the title in Arkansas

"We here in Hot Springs have responded to many challengers over the years by pointing out that we are perfectly willing to shorten our parade to whatever length it takes to retain our crown," Arrison stated in a press release on Saturday.

"We have also pointed out that our parade will march in place if necessary to keep the title. Heck, we’ll even march backward if that’s what it takes."

Firm in his belief that Adamsville is the true holder of the tiny title, Chuck Kinnane, founder of the local parade, says Adamsville will hold onto the banner. "We're committed," Kinnane said. "We've got nothing but respect for Hot Springs." But then he added, "They acknowledge we're the shortest."

Adamsville is small, so, of course, its parade is, too

The idea for a St. Patrick's Day parade in Adamsville came a few years ago when Kinnane, a director in Kinnane Brothers independent film company, was having a St. Patrick's Day breakfast with his brothers and cousins.

"We need a St. Patrick's Day parade," somebody suggested. They concluded early that "the village is so small, it would be the shortest in the world."

In its third year, "The World's Shortest St. Paddy's Day Parade" raises funds for food banks in Little Compton, Tiverton, Westport and Fall River.

A lot of community members participate in the parade and help put it on, according to Kinnane. "It's homegrown," he said. "It's the local farmers, fishermen and tradespeople. We love it that way."

Along with the 3 p.m. parade down Main Street, there's a post-parade party, with live music and a corned beef and cabbage dinner. The party requires a ticket. Former Boston Celtics star Cedric Maxwell will be the guest of honor and greet sponsors before the parade.

The Arkansas parade is countering with its own athletic celebrity, former Dallas Cowboys star running back Emmitt Smith. Celebrity is no stranger to the Hot Springs event — in 2008, TV personality Mike Rowe made a stir when he used a unique mode of travel in the Arkansas parade.

Mike Rowe rides a commode in Arkansas

Saying he had watched video of the Adamsville parade, Arrison called it "a touching little gathering." He wrote: "They do have a guy riding a lawnmower, but did they ever have TV star Mike Rowe of 'Dirty Jobs' fame riding a motorized commode? I say, 'no.' "

Arrison also took a shot at Rhode Island's harsh March weather and the title for the Adamsville parade. "We don’t celebrate the Irish’s saint’s nickname day — we celebrate the real deal," he wrote.

Kinnane called Arrison's press release "hilarious." He and other Adamsville parade organizers and fans were quick to punch back with one-liners.

Pat Kinnane, described as a "parade enthusiast," said: "They flexed about Mike Rowe being in their parade; it's good to see he is still doing 'Dirty Jobs.' "

Mike Kinnane, co-grand marshal for the inaugural parade, said: "Unlike [Emmitt] Smith's records, the Hot Springs one was easily broken."

Padraic Manning, also a co-grand marshal for the inaugural parade, said: “It’s a classic bully situation — just a longer parade picking on a shorter one."

"In all seriousness," Chuck Kinnane said, "we have nothing but love and respect for the World's Second Shortest St. Patrick's Day Parade. We challenge Hot Springs to shorten their parade this year, and if they can reclaim the crown, we want to make a donation to a charity of their choice."

The Adamsville parade drew about 1,000 spectators last year, Kinnane said. He expects more this year.

"It's something to look forward to as the winter winds down," he said. "It's definitely growing."

Growing in attendance, that is — not in length.

This article originally appeared on The Providence Journal: Arkansas, RI bicker over which state has the shortest St. Pat's parade