To plea or not to plea — who knew there was a Shakesperean link to the insurrection?

Jan. 6, 2021 was notable for many things: The gallows for Mike Pence, the weirdo wearing animal hides, the guys Spiderman-ing up the Capitol walls when they could have easily taken the stairs, the excrement in the rotunda and about 500 get-into-jail-free cards.

But now we know there was a Shakespearean connection because, you know, you can’t spell rabid without b-a-r-d.

This is almost too perfect for a movement that takes itself so dead seriously as to be hopelessly silly.

Prior to Jan. 6, the insurrectionists wrote a letter to the Folger Shakespeare Library, which is two blocks from the Capitol, warning of what was about to commence: “We will be blocking access to your building … to prevent our persons of grievance from using you as a loophole. This is nothing personal to the library itself. We have no intention of damaging, trespassing, or otherwise altering your facility in any way… We sincerely apologize in advance to any inconvenience this may cause you … we are simply citizens practicing our 1st amendment rights and are only involving you by happenstance.”

Don’t worry, it’s no big deal. We’re  just going to overthrow the U.S. government and then you can get on with your day.

But if you’re going to puff yourselves up by issuing a formal “persons of grievance” document, it might help to know the definition of “loophole.” This is like if Thomas Jefferson had written “We hold these truths to be a selfie.”

The insurrectionists apparently feared that fleeing senators  and representatives might escape through underground tunnels leading to the Shakespearean library. And you have to admit, that would be, well, poetic. Shakespeare was all the time cutting off escape routes in his villains’ castles. Why not do the same for MacPence?

But … How would Shakespeare have portrayed a group of ne’er-do-wells who were too sad for a comedy and too goofy for a tragedy?

Forsooth what manner of men are these

Whose brains appear the size of peas?

At this point you might be wondering a couple of things, viz, if you are hatching a devious surprise attack against the Capitol Building, why would you give advance warning when you know the recipient is going to take the missive straight to the authorities? And two, why didn’t the Folger take the missive straight to the authorities?

The answer to the first question is easy: These people are morons. The answer to the second question is that, even though the letter was stamped (with a “Happy Holidays” postmark, no less) on Dec. 29, the post office didn’t deliver the letter until two weeks after the insurrection.

Doesn’t this just describe to a T the current political conflict in this nation: Idiocy vs. Incompetence.

Think about it. The entire insurrection might never have happened if some guy named Herman in the U.S. Post Office distribution center in Waldorf hadn’t accidentally knocked the letter off the counter while reaching for a Moon Pie.

So there’s only one question left to answer. Why in the name of Q Anon would such lowbrow marauders care about Shakespeare?

So glad you asked. According to The Washington Post it has to do with the play Julius Caesar:

“The Shakespearean tragedy follows the assassination of Julius Caesar, the ancient Roman dictator, by a group of conspirators who believed themselves to be guardians of democracy and feared Caesar was gaining too much power. The Jan. 6 insurrectionists — many of whom were neo-Nazis and white supremacists — claimed they were saving American democracy from election fraud by storming the Capitol.”

Brilliant. What does it matter if 99% of insurrectionists think the Ides of March is a laundry detergent?

This reminds me of when Ronald Reagan thought “Born in the U.S.A” was a happy ode to American exceptionalism, and Springsteen had to step in and say no, no no. You half expect Shakespeare to rise from the dead and declare, “These people do not represent me.”

Now that would make a good play.

Tim Rowland is a Herald-Mail columnist.

He was small and sickly, but determined. And he melted our hearts and ruled our farm.

Signs, signs, everywhere a sign — but do they conform to government regulations?

This article originally appeared on The Herald-Mail: Letter to the Folger warning of insurrection came a little too late