Poll: One in four Idahoans thinks they live in the Midwest. Who ARE you people?

Although I’ve spent nearly all of my adult life in Boise, I was born and raised in rural Nebraska.

Upon college graduation, I promptly moved 1,000 miles west.

Consequently, I feel uniquely qualified to educate Gem State residents about an important piece of knowledge. A nugget of farm-boy insight of which I am unquestionably certain.

Idaho is not in the Midwest.

This will come as a stunner to more than one in four Idahoans, according to an eye-opening poll recently shared by Middle West Review, an academic journal published by the University of Nebraska Press.

“Do you live in the Midwest?” it asked. A head-scratching 25.2% of Idahoans contacted by Emerson Polling ostensibly believe they do.

This knocks me out of my tractor seat. Blows my corn-huskin’ mind.

(It also caught the attention of a columnist from the Kansas City Star, to whom I attribute the inspiration for this geographic head slap, er, discussion.)

To be fair, there are plenty of similarities between Idaho and certain Midwestern states. Metropolitan areas give way to long stretches of agriculture. Driving around, you might notice a few (million) “Trump” banners and flags. If you happen to have car trouble, chances are high that a well-meaning stranger will pull over. After I blew a tire outside Cascade this summer, it took about 2 minutes for a woman in a pickup to offer help. I remember thinking fondly, “Damn, that’s Midwest of her!”

Still. Get a grip. This is the Northwest. I won’t say it’s the Pacific Northwest. But Northwest? Absolutely. (Or Mountain West? I’ll accept that.) Whatever you call it, I love that Idaho isn’t in the Midwest.

Who, in their right mind, could possibly think that it is?

It must be the California transplants. If you moved to Idaho from the Pacific Ocean, it probably feels like you journeyed so far east that you’re now in the “middle” part of the West.

No? Maybe the confusion stems from Iowa versus Idaho. Clueless Americans often mix up the states because they share three vowels. (Seriously, it’s been going on forever.) Are 25.2% of Idahoans mistakenly living in a fantasy world where they think they’re Hawkeyes?

Whatever the case, confused Midwest wannabes aren’t just Gem Staters. In the poll, nearly 10% of Pennsylvanians made the claim — despite being “way out east,” as the Kansas City Star noted.

Even weirder, more than half of Wyoming residents think they’re in the Midwest. Sorry, that’s insane. I grasp that Wyoming borders Nebraska, but there’s one gigantic problem. A wise soul pointed it out after Middle West Review posted the poll results on Twitter.

“If there is a mountain that gets snow on it anywhere in your state,” the person wrote, “you are not in the Midwest.”

Bingo! I have an old “Ski Nebraska” postcard hanging on my beer fridge. It’s a photo of a motionless skier crouched in the middle of a frozen cornfield surrounded by dead corn stalks. Kinda says it all.

“If it doesn’t touch a Great Lake, or isn’t Iowa, then no,” another Twitter responder claimed — incorrectly.

“70% of Montana thinks they are in Northern California,” groused a cranky one.

“Oklahoma is not Midwest wth,” said one more.

WTH. Exactly. I’m talking to you, one in four Idahoans.

Speaking of floating borders, are the “Greater Idaho” nutballs from Oregon prepared to call themselves Midwesterners if they join our state? Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Ontario.

Feel like debating the “where is Idaho” issue? You’ll find me studying regional maps in the corner of a local brewery — maybe Western Collective. Sipping a Northwest-style IPA.

I promise to be nauseatingly friendly. Like any true Midwesterner.