Prince Harry looks like a man desperate for an escape route – we should give him one

Much is being made of the Duchess of Sussex’s newfound inconspicuousness. It wasn’t long ago that there was no escaping the American former actress turned wannabe People’s Princess as she revealed her “truth” on Oprah, shed tears on Netflix, and shared pearls of wisdom on her “Archetypes” podcast. “I’m particular,” admitted the woman once dubbed “Duchess Difficult” by palace staff, insisting that setting boundaries did not make her demanding.

But having been completely absent from the promotional activity around Spare – her husband’s warts-and-all autobiography – and now having decided against attending the Coronation, preferring instead to remain in California, “Duchess Dolittle” would appear to be a better moniker.

Biding her time since that South Park episode, there is mounting talk of a rebrand, with Meghan reportedly planning to revive her lifestyle blog The Tig. Think Martha Stewart meets Kim Kardashian, presumably with enough paid endorsements to fund the couple’s quest to maintain “financial independence” from the Crown, and possibly to get a new kitchen.

But as the mistress of reinvention works on Megxit: The Sequel, what is the Duke of Sussex to do? The John Lennon to his wife’s Yoko Ono (or, as someone once joked on Twitter, Woko Ono), things aren’t quite as straightforward for the fifth-in-line to the throne, for whom Britain appears to be the third person in his marriage.

Like his relationship with the royals, Prince Harry’s connection with his country of birth is complicated. “I love my mother country and I love my family and I always will,” he has said. “I just wish, in the second-darkest moment of my life, they’d both been there for me.”

Yet in making a surprise return to London for his High Court case against Associated Newspapers Ltd, and in agreeing to attend the Coronation on May 6, Harry looks like a man with a yearning for Blighty. And if that’s the case – if he does want to come back, at least for a temporary period – shouldn’t he be welcomed, not only by the palace but the public, too?

The truth is that Harry will always seem more at home here than in the United States (even after his imminent eviction from Frogmore House). In America, he’s just, as the South Park creators rather cruelly put it, a “dumb prince”.

The Sussexes aren’t major influencers there. That job is left to people such as the less middle-aged Selena Gomez and Kylie Jenner. The Duke and Duchess are just another pair of celebrities in a country where they are two-a-penny.

Any American dream that Harry might have had appears to have gone a bit stale, with the Netflix glow fading much quicker than he may have hoped. His memoir is still among those topping the charts, but that caused a stir because of what it said about the Royal family as a whole, not just him.

In Britain, by contrast, Prince Harry will always be someone. He’s the son of the King, the brother of a future king and the uncle of a future king. And although he may have done his best to destroy these familial ties, they still mean something over here. That’s why Britons have been so reluctant to write him off completely. Positive memories linger of the lad who was a good laugh before he completely fell under his wife’s spell.

Indeed, people seem generally pleased he has chosen to support his father on the biggest day of his life – and they will be largely delighted that Meghan won’t be making another appearance in Westminster Abbey. The King loves his “darling boy”. The family knows Harry’s presence at the service will bring Charles joy – and that it’s good for the monarchy.

Deep down, I suspect many people hope that Harry, Charles and William will resolve their differences this time. Life is too short for any family to go on like this, be they populated with princes or paupers. It’s reasonable to wonder, too, if Harry can make Britain a home again. Despite his recent penchant for spewing American psychobabble and his insistence that he is loving the LA lifestyle, it does look like he is lost in the States.

The cynics would say that even before he met Meghan, Harry was not fond of this green and pleasant land. In 2008, when he was serving his first tour of Afghanistan, the Duke was asked if he would ever return to the warzone. “I don’t want to sit around in Windsor,” he replied. “But I generally don’t like England that much and, you know, it’s nice to be away from all the press and the papers and all the general sh--- that they write.”

But now that he is sitting around in Santa Barbara – with the press continuing to write about him back home – has he really achieved peace?

It always struck me that if there was one place Harry would yearn for outside of Britain, it would be Africa, not Los Angeles. He once said: “I wish I could spend more time in Africa. I have this intense sense of complete relaxation and normality [there]. To not get recognised, to lose myself in the bush with what I would call the most down-to-earth people on the planet, people [dedicated to conservation] with no ulterior motives, no agendas, who would sacrifice everything for the betterment of nature … I talk to them about their jobs, about what they do.”

You get the sense that Harry has always pined for a real sense of belonging: not just to be loved but to be familiar.

I previously mentioned Afghanistan because this week we were once again reminded of how the military always brought out the best in the Duke. Responding to the death of Help for Heroes founder Bryn Parry, who made a life-changing difference to military veterans and their families, Prince Harry paid a heartfelt tribute, saying: “We bid farewell to a man who, alongside his wife, completely transformed the UK charity sector for the benefit of those who have served. His vision, determination and brilliance provided a lifeline for thousands of veterans, as well as their families, when they needed it most.”

The saddest aspect of all this is how low Harry, a former British Army officer, has fallen in the estimation of his fellow troops, who once admired his determination and brilliance. It is now unlikely he will even wear a military uniform to the Coronation despite all he has achieved with the Invictus Games.

The man who was once “our Harry” needs a purpose in life beyond attacking the media and his family. By giving him a warm welcome in three weeks’ time, Britain might be able to help him find it.