Entrepreneurs and mental health: Aberdeen laundromat helps fight depression

ABERDEEN - By the time he was 30, Mark Csordos had started and sold a small business, written a book about entrepreneurship, received speaking invitations from colleges and landed on publications' lists of up-and-coming New Jerseyans to watch.

But the success was fleeting, and soon, the married father of three was having trouble getting out of bed. With bills piling up, he settled for jobs that for him were unfulfilling, managing big box retail stores, until finally, last summer, he checked himself into a hospital to be treated for depression.

"I didn't know what to expect," said Csordos, now 52, of Old Bridge. "They basically just put me in a little room with this thing that comes out of the ground, and you can lie on it. The room is empty because they don't want you to hurt yourself. I didn't even have a pillow."

Csordos is getting back on his feet. He has bought the Washing Well Laundromat here with plans to expand the business, while drawing attention to the mental health challenges he's battled while trying to live up to his career's promising start.

Mental health: Should NJ schools allow students mental health days? Here is why a lawmaker is promoting it

With Mental Health Awareness Month in May underway, experts say Csordos' story is timely and familiar. Business owners and employees are virtually set up to encounter disappointment in their careers, particularly in a society in which everyone is encouraged to follow their dreams. When they fall short, it can be debilitating.

"One of the things about expectations is, when we set them high, we often come to believe that they are going to continue," said Dr. Frank A. Ghinassi, president and chief executive officer of Rutgers University Behavioral Health.

Early accolades

Csordos lives with his wife, Denise, and their three grown children, Amanda, 23, Emily, 20, and Connor, 18.

He grew up in South Plainfield, worked at A&P and muddled his way through three colleges before graduating from Rutgers with a communications degree. He eventually left the supermarket to start C&S Mystery Shoppers, in which clients like a Pizza Hut franchise and ShopRite hired him to send in undercover customers and report back on the service they saw, like a pre-internet Yelp.

Stress relief: Colts Neck Detox Box owner massaged Wall Street brokers, New York Giants and now you

The idea took off. New Jersey Monthly in 1999 named him one of 40 people under the age of 40 to watch. The New York Times profiled him. "But now, less than four years after getting a degree in communications from Rutgers University, he finally does have it together," the Times said of Csordos.

Newly married with his first child on the way, Csordos decided to sell the business after four years — for not a lot of money, he said — and move to North Carolina to be closer to his parents. He wrote and self-published a book, "Business Lessons for Entrepreneurs: 35 Things I Learned Before the Age of Thirty." And he started speaking at college business schools with designs of joining the speaking circuit.

After the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, corporate budgets for speaking dried up. And Csordos began to miss New Jersey's faster pace, including his beloved Major League Baseball games. He moved back to New Jersey with his wife and kids, and he began feeling depressed.

One day, struggling to get out of bed, a neighbor in his apartment building knocked on the door to tell him that his daughter, then a toddler, was in the hallway. Csordos thought it wasn't normal not to have enough energy to keep track of his child.

He learned both of his parents had depression, a mental illness that can result in fatigue, a loss of energy, feelings of being worthless, even thoughts of suicide. The disorder is tied to genetics and can be passed down in families, which put him at higher risk.

Bring your baby to your office? See what some working parents do for child care

Csordos was prescribed medication, but he said he was reluctant to take it. Adding to the weight: He set aside new ideas he had for businesses and started taking jobs in retail, at call centers, anything that would help pay the bills.

The depression returned. Working as an assistant manager at Office Depot, he once asked Denise to come to the store simply to keep him company. On another job managing a store, he would fill in working at the cash register, feeling like he could contribute more to the store, to the company, to society.

Last summer, he was grouchy. He went to a Philadelphia Phillies game with his family — an outing that should have brought him joy — only to walk ahead of them in irritation to get to their seats. He lost interest in daily activities. He tried to schedule appointments with psychiatrists, only to find waiting lists.

'Go out and do it'

Finally, Denise sent him to a local hospital to be treated for his mental health. He was discharged and sent to outpatient therapy, where, during one session, he mentioned to a counselor an idea about buying a laundromat, a business that isn't exciting, but is needed in good economic times and bad.

Moreover, it would be his.

"He had some setbacks with his mental health last year and in one of the therapy sessions he mentioned we were kicking this idea around about buying a laundromat," said Denise Csordos, 48, a bookkeeper. "She’s like, 'Then go own a laundromat.' She’s black and white about it. If this is what you need for your mental health, a focus, a purpose, then go out and do it."

Stress relief: How Jersey Shore's Bask Hot Yoga promises to cool your nerves

Rutgers' Ghinassi, who also is senior vice president of behavioral health and addictions services at RWJBarnabas Health, said Csordos' story isn't unusual. Americans are routinely urged to set their expectations high. And those who meet them are celebrated with thousands of "likes" on Instagram or landing on lists like 40 under 40 to watch.

But life isn't a straight line of successes. And people who have genetic links to depression can have trouble coping when their plans are derailed, Ghinassi said.

"I know this seems counterintuitive, but you have to be careful about this," he said. "If you tell a young person, 'You can be anything you want,' that's a setup. That's not exactly how the world works. A better thing to tell somebody is to say, 'If you work hard, and you accept struggle and you can put up with setbacks, there are many, many important and wonderful things you can achieve.'"

Depression can be treated with medication, therapy and developing coping skills that can help people be more resilient in the face of stress, Ghinassi said.

Csordos took over the Washing Well in December. He has added a pick-up and delivery service. And he hopes one day to own several more laundromats. For now, he continues to work a full-time retail job, but he doesn't think it will be forever. He has jotted down his timeline on a notecard that he keeps with him.

As he talked about his journey, he remembered telling someone about the mystery shopping business he used to own.

"She goes, 'As soon as you started talking about that, you came alive,'" Csordos said. "It's like breathing, if you own a business. I totally believe in it. And I like the freedom of being able to just run with your own ideas. And even if you fail, at least you failed with your own ideas."

Michael L. Diamond is a business reporter who has been writing about the New Jersey economy and health care industry for more than 20 years. He can be reached at mdiamond@gannettnj.com.

This article originally appeared on Asbury Park Press: How new Aberdeen laundromat helps owner fight depression