Rachel Brougham: When it comes to bullying, adults need to check themselves
It comes in many forms, all of them ugly.
Mocking someone for the way they look. Singling out someone because of their religion or culture. Going online to attack someone. Sending threatening texts.
Long gone are the days when bullies just threw kids up against lockers and demanded they hand over their lunch money. Bullying is everywhere and it seems like little progress is being done to put a stop to it.
Nearly half of teens in the United States say they’ve experienced bullying or harassment online, according to a 2022 Pew Research Center survey, with physical appearance being the most common reason. Older teen girls are especially likely to face this kind of abuse.
Studies have repeatedly shown that students who experience bullying are at an increased risk for not only depression and anxiety, but physical issues such as problems sleeping, stomach issues, headaches, and trouble learning. Victims of bullying are also at an increased risk for suicide-related behavior.
Prevention programs and outreach initiatives to promote kindness, unity and empathy among kids and teens have proven somewhat successful at decreasing bullying, but it’s not getting to the root of the problem.
So what’s the holdup?
Well, maybe we should look at the adults in the room. Bullying is a learned behavior and it’s often generational. What happens during childhood can be a precursor for not only victims of bullying, but bullies as well later in life. After all, we learn from watching our parents and the adults around us.
You may call it tough love, but there’s a fine line between teaching our kids to be strong and face hard situations, and flat out being a jerk to purposely make someone feel bad or less than just for your enjoyment.
Our kids learn from watching and listening to us. Think about the messages we’re sending when we say things about the way someone looks, how they choose to live their life and what they believe just because it’s different from ourselves.
Bullying isn’t confined to playgrounds and school hallways, it’s happening in every corner of our society from halls of Congress to local school board meetings. It’s happening on social media and in comment sections of newspapers and news stations. It’s happening in the workplace. And it’s being done by those old enough to know better.
Just because “that’s the way it’s always been,” doesn’t mean that’s the way it has to be going forward.
We’re the problem.
— Rachel Brougham is the former assistant editor of the Petoskey News-Review. You can email her at racheldbrougham@gmail.com.
This article originally appeared on The Holland Sentinel: Rachel Brougham: When it comes to bullying, adults need to check themselves
