Rachel Brougham: What if we were all honest about our mental health?
Two years ago, I was in an exam room at my doctor’s office during my annual checkup. Everything looked good, and my doctor left the room for a moment to take a quick call. And that’s when I couldn’t help but look.
There on the table was my chart, my medical history. I glanced over and saw the list of highlights: My severe penicillin allergy, notes about the metal plates and screws in my left leg following a broken leg and surgery in 2015, jottings about my parents’ medical history. And then, there it was — a note from May 2018 that read, “PTSD.”
My diagnosis with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder came a month after my husband Colin was killed in a cycling accident on his way home from work. The accident happened just blocks from our home at a busy intersection. A couple weeks later, my son and I started therapy and that’s when I got the PTSD diagnosis.
I can’t say the diagnosis was necessarily a surprise, yet at the same time I didn’t know a whole lot about PTSD. I knew that it was first recognized in military personnel, and I generally equated it with lasting effects from what soldiers experienced on the battlefield. I knew civilians could also suffer, but I was curious as to why I was being diagnosed with the disorder since I didn’t feel I exhibited any of the symptoms I knew about.
It turns out that PTSD can develop after exposure to a number of potentially traumatic events that go beyond a typical stressor, including accidents. And while most people who go through a traumatic event will not develop PTSD, about six in every 100 people will have PTSD at some point in their lives. In 2020, about 13 million Americans had PTSD.
There are four types of PTSD symptoms listed on the Veterans Affairs website including reliving the event, avoiding things that remind you of the event, having more negative thoughts and feelings than before the event, and feeling on edge.
When I was diagnosed, I was experiencing three of those four symptoms. I had trouble sleeping and in the middle of the night, I often felt like I was reliving the event over and over. I avoided the intersection for a long time. I had trouble — and often still do — concentrating for long periods of time. I had a very heightened sense of awareness throughout the day to the point at which I was mentally spent by the end of the day. I spent an unhealthy amount of time worrying about my son’s safety.
On the outside, I was doing OK. Friends and family watched me slowly get into a routine after Colin’s death. I started writing again. I did projects around the house. I did a lot of fun, social things with friends. I wasn’t spending all my time hiding under the covers or avoiding life so I was fine, right?
But what they couldn’t see — what no one could have possibly have known — was what was going on in my head.
Many people who suffer from PTSD will never be diagnosed because they’ve just never talked to their doctor about their trauma or their symptoms. Plus, there’s no single study that asks everyone about PTSD, leaving many cases to go undiagnosed. While veterans are more likely to have PTSD than civilians, women are also more likely to develop PTSD than men.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month. One in five American adults will experience mental illness each year, and less than half of them will receive treatment.
One of the best things we can do for our mental health is to be honest with ourselves. Pay attention to how you feel, even on days you feel great. Take note in how you feel mentally, and when your mental health changes. If yesterday was great and today is just OK, well, that’s OK.
And if there comes a time when you’re not feeling OK for a longer stretch of time, there is help available and seeking it out is the best thing you can do for yourself, and those you love.
— Rachel Brougham is the former assistant editor of the Petoskey News-Review. You can email her at racheldbrougham@gmail.com.
This article originally appeared on The Petoskey News-Review: Rachel Brougham: What if we were all honest about our mental health?
