Rape survivors share works of healing, self-compassion in new book

Sitting at her computer in Chicago, Mary Simmerling was supposed to be writing her Ph.D. dissertation. Instead, poetry poured out, verse after verse about the night she was raped − and trying to navigate the world in its aftermath.

Simmerling shared her first poem, “What I was wearing,” with a friend, who distributed it at conference for advocates working to end sexual violence. The poem inspired two women in attendance to create an art installation. The project, which has been presented at thousands of colleges, rape crisis centers and military bases on six continents, pairs the words of survivors with outfits that represent what they were wearing when they were assaulted.

“It was not only healing for me, other people could see themselves reflected back in my words and it could help heal them,” Simmerling said. “I wanted to do more. My voice is not the only voice. I wanted to raise up and hear other voices.”

She’s done it. This month, Amherst Writers & Artists Press published an anthology featuring the work of members of a writing workshop Simmerling created and facilitated with RAINN, the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network. The authors are largely members of the RAINN Speakers Bureau, a group of survivors who have stepped forward to talk about their experiences with legislators, community groups, students and journalists.

A line from Keena Hildebrand’s poem, “I am everything,” became the book’s title: “We’ve Been Put Through Fire and Come out Divine.” She said she’s a different person from when the group began.

“I look back at my writings and I frequently do not recognize the author,” Hildebrand said.  “She feels so foreign. I have grown so much.”

Not all the women featured in the anthology considered themselves writers when they first came together about two years ago.

Angela Lore, a retired nurse, said she tried to leave the group because she felt her writing wasn’t good enough. Now, she’s glad Simmerling persuaded her to stay – and not only because she has become a published writer.

“We’ve gotten to know each other on so many different levels,” Lore said. “It’s made me a part of something that has done wonders for my healing journey.”

Susan Hamin, a therapist, said she still doesn’t think of herself as a writer, despite her work being included in the anthology. For her, connecting and sharing with the other women has been the most valuable part of the experience.

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"Much of what holds meaning for me in work and relationships is compassion, healing, growth, well-being, self-awareness, self-compassion, connection and hopefully allowing others to feel not alone," she said.

Building that sense of community was among Simmerling's goals when first posed the idea of a writers’ group to Scott Berkowitz, the president and founder of RAINN, about four years ago. He asked who would lead it and Simmerling wanted to, but she didn’t feel qualified. Although she had finished her dissertation by then and earned a Ph.D in philosophy, she applied to a master’s program in applied psychology at Adler University. There, she studied social justice and trauma response. She created the RAINN workshop as part of her thesis, and called it Write Where We Belong.

Simmerling also trained as a writing workshop facilitator through Massachusetts-based Amherst Writers & Artists. The AWA method values each person’s unique voice and considers the facilitator an equal member of the group rather than an expert. Her role is to provide the other members with writing prompts. After writing for 10-15 minutes, participants are invited to read their work aloud and provide each other with positive feedback, another hallmark of the method.

“Every writer has a unique genius gift and a unique voice, and we’re all equals,” Simmerling said. “It’s remarkable, this equality and trust and openness, this safety in sharing our voices.”

Ginger T. Rex, an actor, said it took time to build those bonds. At first, she felt timid and stilted, and reading aloud was embarrassing.

“But then you look forward to it, and it’s not awkward anymore and you start to hold yourself accountable to write better,” she said.

When Simmerling first broached the idea of an anthology, Rex’s anxiety returned. But she soon realized the book could help convey the power of writing to other survivors. She also hopes it will empower more people to talk openly about sexual assault.

“It is so prevalent in our society,” she said. “And not talking about it doesn’t mean it’s not happening.”

The RAINN writers’ group, Write Where We Belong, will present an online book launch event featuring readings from their anthology 4 p.m. to 6 p.m. EST Monday on Zoom. To attend, register in advance at https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSepr31F1EvOEO9h7-89X0bNrkcJ3ZFAm3q1KXlRqMjAJD0OZw/viewform.

If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, contact RAINN's National Sexual Assault Hotline for free, confidential, 24/7 support in English and en Español at 800.656.HOPE (4673) and online.RAINN.org y RAINN.org/es.

To bring the art installation “What Were You Wearing” to your community, visit https://sapec.ku.edu/wwyw.

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Rape survivors publish book aimed at recovery, healing