Ray Mariano: Visions of sugarplums at Christmastime
“While visions of sugarplums danced in their heads.” These words conjure up images of happy children all excited for a visit from Santa and the magic of the season.
Unfortunately, for some people that Christmas magic never came. And if it did, it’s been gone for years covered over by bad luck, bad choices and the pain and loneliness that come from being homeless.
For some people, Christmastime is just another lonely day. As we decorate our trees and wrap our presents, we should think of those for whom Christmas is a painful reminder of what they don’t have.
A visit to a homeless shelter
Last week, I visited Worcester’s new homeless shelter at 611 Main St. The guests of the shelter that I talked to were kind and thoughtful. I’d like you to meet them.
Ruth, 54: When I asked Ruth if she had any fond memories of Christmas as a child, she said no. Those memories, she said, were far too painful to talk about. Ruth hasn’t talked to her siblings in decades and only talks to her own children, who are in their 30s, “every now and then.” She won’t be seeing them this Christmas.
The only time Ruth smiled was when she was talking about Nate — they’ve been together for about four years.
Nate, 57: If you met Nate anyplace else, you’d never guess that he was homeless. Tall and handsome, he was a construction worker until he had an accident and then his world started to unravel. Before coming to the shelter, he had been living on the streets.
Nate laughed sarcastically when I asked him how he felt about Christmas. But still he was looking forward to spending time with some of his five daughters and three grandchildren.
Nate has happy memories of his childhood Christmas days. He remembers the smell of nutmeg, cinnamon and apple spice. Now, his Christmas wish is for an apartment for him and his partner, Ruth.
Izzy, 34: Izzy had a complicated start to his life. With both a biological family and an adoptive family, he started drinking after his adoptive mother died when he was only 11. His father and older sister used alcohol as a way to cope with her death and they let young Izzy join in. Still, he has fond memories of childhood Christmastime.
Handsome, well-spoken and filled with personality, Izzy served in the Navy and came to Massachusetts from Montana for services being provided by Veterans Inc. Before he came to this shelter, he was living in a tent.
His one Christmas wish is that he could see his 12-year-old daughter, whom he hasn’t seen in about 10 years.
Nicole, 51: Originally from Macon, Georgia, Nicole has a warm smile and huge brown eyes. The baby among other sisters, she remembers waking up in the middle of the night as a child to open presents.
If it wasn’t for this shelter, Nicole, who has been homeless for about three years, would be sleeping outside. And yet, she still loves Christmas. This year for Christmas, she says that she wants to go to church because God comes first. She hopes that her 22-year-old daughter, who lives in New Bedford, comes up to visit, and she’s hoping to see her mother, who lives in Wayland.
David, 35: David’s relatively short life has been controlled by his addiction and he carries its physical scars.
He said that he has lots of good memories of childhood Christmastimes. But today, Christmas is just another day. He has a brother and sister that he doesn’t see but he does talk to his mom. His Christmas wish was that he could see her and tell her that “I love her.”
Sherry, 37: The entire time we spoke, Sherry almost never lifted her eyes or raised her voice above a whisper. The oldest of five, she grew up in Worcester. The victim of addiction, she says that she has no real memories of Christmas growing up. Divorced, Sherry still wears her wedding and engagement rings, symbols of a happier time.
She said that Christmas has no meaning for her — just another day. But her wish is that she could be home with her two children. She hasn’t seen her youngest, an 11-year-old son, in about two years.
Nicole, 52: When you meet Nicole you are immediately struck by how gentle and kind she is. As I spoke to her, she sat away from the other guests on a cot with her few belongings nearby. Born in Fall River, she’s been homeless and living in a tent since March.
She hasn’t seen her only brother “in a few years” and hasn’t seen her mom, who is still living in Fall River, in about two years.
Nicole has “really good memories” of Christmastime growing up. But now, for her, Christmas is just another day. Her one Christmas wish is that she could see her mom.
This Christmas
Unfortunately, I doubt that my new friends will have their Christmas wishes fulfilled. Most of them won’t be reunited with loved ones. And there just aren’t many apartments to go around.
As Christmas nears, most of us envision our children's and grandchildren’s excitement, their visions of sugarplums. But for those living on the street, their visions for a happy Christmas are much less lofty. They hope for a roof to sleep under, a mom or a child to hug, and maybe the help and support that will one day lead them to a place where they can look forward to celebrating Christmas with family and friends once again.
NOTE: I don’t think Santa has the time to visit the homeless shelters so maybe we can help. The guests of the shelter are in need of winter hats, boots, gloves and socks. They also need men and women’s toiletries. You can drop them off at the shelter at 611 Main St. or their sister shelters at 25 Queen St. and 237 Chandler St. Your help would be appreciated.
Email Raymond V. Mariano at rmariano.telegram@gmail.com. He served four terms as mayor of Worcester and previously served on the City Council and School Committee. He grew up in Great Brook Valley and holds degrees from Worcester State College and Clark University. He was most recently executive director of the Worcester Housing Authority. His column appears weekly in the Sunday Telegram. His endorsements do not necessarily reflect the position of the Telegram & Gazette.
This article originally appeared on Telegram & Gazette: Ray Mariano on visit to Worcester homeless shelter at Christmastime
