Is reader wrong about rude and tasteless pool party behavior? Absolutely not.
Q. My husband and I went to a BBQ Pool Party last week at a friend’s house. They have a lot of pool parties with a lot of people. Maybe I am getting “old” in my “older years,” but I saw and heard some things which made me feel like some general manners have flown out the window. I will give you a few examples and would like to know what you think and what I should have done or not done.
Somehow I happened to sit with two other ladies at one of the patio tables by the pool. We had a choice of beverages in plastic drink cups with ice. While these two ladies talked up a storm with everyone at the table, they were both crunching on the ice in their drinks. Crunch! Crunch! It positively drove me nuts! My question is: I thought about saying something like, “Gosh, how can your teeth take all that ice-crunching?” Or “Sorry, I didn’t hear what you were saying because of all the ice crunching,” but I just excused myself, got up and went over to another group of people I knew. Isn’t it considered rude to chew ice in public?
The next table at which I decided to sit had a lady in her bathing suit with her foot up on her chair, cutting her toenails. I was so tempted to say, “Oh, did I miss the memo about this being a pedicure party?” Even if she had a torn toenail or rough edge, shouldn’t she have gone inside to the bathroom to fix the problem, much less, make it an actual total toe trimming? It was disgusting.
Two ladies got out of the water and came over to the table, grabbed some towels nearby and began drying their bodies and flipping their long hair all over the place, sprinkling everyone with pool water. Then, when they thought they had dried off enough to go get a drink, they put their wet towels on the back of a couple of our chairs. I just shook my head. Isn’t it common sense for adults not to do this?
When it got to the point that one of the guys pushed his girlfriend into the pool even though she wasn’t wearing a swimsuit, and then another followed, splashing everyone nearby with tons of water I decided it was time for us to leave before everyone wound up in the pool. The two women laughed and laughed, but I didn’t think it was very funny. Or am I really old and past the “fun state”?
I also heard the f-word a lot. I think that is so disgusting and totally unnecessary. I know it is said in a lot of current TV programs and movies, so am I “behind the power curve” again? Where have the common-sense manners gone?
A. Gosh, that was some BBQ/pool party! Every example you mentioned was in poor taste, rude, inconsiderate, impolite, disrespectful, childish and on and on:
Crunching ice at any time, especially in public, for example is not only impolite and rude, but there is also the danger of actually cracking a tooth or teeth. Considering the obvious lack of good manners or the choice to ignore them on the part of these ladies, your decision to excuse yourself and move to another table was best.
Deciding to give oneself a spontaneous pedicure in public, regardless of the location but especially at a pool party, is not only ill-mannered but disgusting! Although your comment was on target, it was better you chose not to say a word. Chances are she would not have even understood your comment.
One of the basic rules in swimming with other people is to dry off with a towel and make certain you do not shake water on others around you, especially those who are not or have not been in the pool. Your wet towels should not be left on someone else’s chair.
Throwing or pushing anyone into a swimming pool is not only ill-mannered and childish, it can be very dangerous. The person being pushed could easily get hurt. Their clothes could be permanently damaged. If they were wearing a watch, it could be destroyed; they could lose jewelry; they could injure a part of their body. Even if they know how to swim, the sudden impact with the water could cause them to swallow a lot of water; water could get into their ears which could cause an infection. Drenching other guests because of the splashing water is in very poor taste. Your decision to leave at that time was a good one.
The f-word is gross and is never appropriate. Why the use of this horrible word has become more prominent in TV programs, movies and some everyday conservation is not something I can answer, but I feel it is totally disgusting! No one should have to ever hear that word! Not only does the use of that word encourage violence and disrespect, I also feel its use shows a lack of civility and is a further deterioration of proper manners in our society today. Now ask me what I really think!
