Readers share funny stories about mom

Apr. 30—Everyone lucky enough to grow up with their mom in their life is bound to have a few funny stories about her. From driving car pools, cooking your favorite dinner to cheering you on at ball games, time spent with mom can be some of the most precious memories from childhood.

With that in mind, Star Beacon readers were asked, "What is your best funny story about your mom?"

Pat Gainey of Jefferson recalled "the mystery of the missing ham."

One day during elementary school, Gainey was first off of the school bus and found their pet Collie under the kitchen table licking aluminum foil that had a delicious ham wrapped in it!

"I quickly gathered the foil and took it way out in the field," she said. "It wasn't until 15 years later when Mom was visiting us in California that I told her about the missing ham."

Ashtabula resident Julius Petro fondly remembers a story about his mother when she was a cook for the county under the late (Sheriff) William K. Johnston.

"One day she made wedding soup, after tasting the soup he asked her, 'Where did you get the chicken from?' and "She replied, 'From the cage in the back of the old jail.' He said, 'Oh no, they were confiscated from a cock fight. You cooked the evidence."'

Roger Shumate of Jefferson said his mother instilled the value of finding humor in the misfortunes of others.

"We were watching TV one night with her while Dad was at a lodge meeting," he said, noting his mother was pregnant at the time and very close to her due date.

An advertisement for some kind of insurance came on the TV, showing a man who tripped over something in the living room, fell and hurt himself.

"Mom found the way that he was rolling around on the floor in agony very humorous," he said. "She laughed so hard that her water broke and my sister Peggy was born later that night."

Former Jefferson resident Michelle L. Gruber recalled the morning her mother hit a police officer's mailbox on the way to school while she was trying to reach back and pinch her and her brother for misbehaving in the backseat.

"She immediately fled from the scene," Gruber said. "She called the policeman later to tell him what happened but the look on her face when she ran over the mailbox was priceless!"

Lenox Township native Paul Diemer was very young when his mother asked him to help her pick strawberries for their dinner time dessert.

"I hated picking strawberries and I threatened to run away from home," he said. "Later, as I was walking around outside I noticed a suitcase on the porch. I asked Mom what the suitcase was for and she said, 'I figured you might need some extra clothes when you run away from home.' I decided I would stick around for a while."

Every mid-December, the Webb family piled in the car to go Christmas tree shopping.

"Mom was very indecisive so we spent quite a bit of time tromping through the tree farm," said Carla Webb, a Jefferson native. "As we got a bit older, we learned to put extra boots and socks in the car as good-ole mom invariably ended up stepping in a hole and getting soaked to her knees. These excursions were followed by hot chocolate and lots of warm memories."

Roaming Shores resident Sue Mizer said when she and her two brothers were all in elementary school, they lived at the corner of West Satin Street and Westview Drive in Jefferson.

The school was less than a mile away so they walked to school every day.

"One very snowy day, Mom picked us up at school in her Corvair, so we didn't have to walk home during the heavy snow. About half way home, she spotted Clyde Leibrock walking home so she decided to hit the brakes and ask him if he would like a ride home, but when she did that, she did a complete 360 before coming to a stop," Mizer said. "Without skipping a beat, she just rolled down her window and asked Clyde if he wanted a ride. He didn't even speak! He just stared at her and shook his head 'No.' I'm guessing he didn't trust her driving ability, but the three of us thought it was pretty cool."

Ashtabula resident Jayne Colin-Currie said she remembers taking her mother for her annual check-up at 98 years old.

"After he was done he turned to my mom and said, 'Teresa, you're going to live to be 100,'" she said. "She looked at him in utter disgust and said, 'Who the hell wants to live that long?'"

She showed him — she died in her 99th year, Colin-Currie said.

Robert Dille of Ashtabula said the cops once pulled his mother over after a Girl Scout meeting with a backseat full of girls. One of the girls suggested the police officer buy some Girl Scout cookies. Dille's mom was afraid the officer thought the girls were being disrespectful, but he was fine.

"He chuckled and said, 'Maybe next time,'" he said.

Ronnie Coursen of Ashtabula recalled a time when he was a teenager and his family was watching a professional bowling match on TV.

"It was on a Sunday afternoon a few days before Thanksgiving and one of the bowlers got three strikes in a row (a turkey)," he said. "My Mom overheard the announcer and said, 'Isn't that nice that the bowler won a turkey just in time for Thanksgiving! We all laughed, including my mom."

Lenox Township native Thomas Tobie said his mother nourished his intellectual and creative nature.

"I remember what is perhaps her favorite photograph of those I ever shot — two elephants at the National Zoo in Washington that I shot together holding trunks," Tobie said. "She said it was so perfect because it looked like they were posing, and maybe they were."