The Real Housewives of the House of Representatives

Every Wednesday, I spend a few hours recapping “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City,” and the show is always thrilling and usually the most drama I witness all week. However, in the past two weeks, the title of “Most Dramatic” belongs to the members of the U.S. House of Representatives.

It’s been 14 days since Kevin McCarthy was ousted as speaker of the House, and the work of the legislative body has come to a screeching halt in the midst of a number of global crises. Despite the urgency, the men and women of Congress have so far failed to select any one representative to wield the gavel.

As these proceedings wear on (and on and on), the similarities between the “Real Housewives of Salt Lake City” and the prominent characters in the speaker race are becoming clear. Behold — the Real Housewives of the House of Representatives.

Kevin McCarthy/All the one-season wonders

The cast of “RHOSLC” has some strongholds — women who have been on the show since its start four years ago — and it has some women who have only been on the show for one season, their careers as Bravo stars cut too short either because they did something problematic (like Jennie Nguyen, whose racist tweets surfaced during her one season on the show) or because they just weren’t very interesting to watch (like Dana Bui-Negrete). McCarthy only served as speaker of the House for less than a year, nine months total, before members of his own party ousted him.

Steve Scalise/Meredith Marks

For a minute, it looked as though Steve Scalise might be our next speaker of the House. But as soon as it became clear to Scalise that he did not have the majority of votes necessary to be elected, he dropped out of the race. He disengaged, you might say, a move one housewife knows well. She has exited more than one confrontation with the other women on the show by throwing her hands in the air, declaring, “I’m disengaging!” and walking away.

Jim Jordan/Jen Shah

Former Republican Speaker of the House John Boehner once called Jim Jordan a “legislative terrorist” after Jordan attempted to get Boehner removed. He has helped cause government shutdowns on more than one occasion, opposed legislation that would provide future aid to Ukraine, and been a key player in trying to get the 2020 election overturned.

Jen Shah can best be described as an emotional terrorist, running from the FBI, throwing elaborate parties and never paying for them, body-shaming fellow castmates, and threatening to drown Whitney Rose. The only reason she’s not still terrorizing the movers and shakers in the Salt Lake Valley is because she’s currently serving time for wire fraud. But while she was on the show, she brought the drama, just like Jordan.

Related

• Jim Jordan falls short in first speaker’s vote, he vows to continue on

• Meet the candidates for speaker of the House of Representatives

Hakeem Jeffries/Heather Gay

The Democrats have nominated Hakeem Jeffries — a congressman from New York — for the speakership. During the first floor vote in this race, Jeffries received 212 votes. An impressive showing, but not enough to win.

Heather Gay has been a constant presence on “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City,” providing many comedic one-liners and side storylines, but none of her drama has ever been enough to vault her to the top of the “RHOSLC” pyramid. She just doesn’t have the votes and likely never will.

Matt Gaetz/Lisa Barlow

Rep. Matt Gaetz rallied the Freedom Caucus to oust McCarthy in a move Rep. Burgess Owens called “self-centered.” In an opinion piece for the Deseret News, contributors Chris Karpowitz and Jeremy Pope write, “Gaetz’s approach is to elevate his own political fortunes, regardless of what institutional damage might be left in his wake.” In other words, Gaetz has a tendency to make everything about himself.

“RHOSLC” star Lisa Barlow shares this tendency. In the most recent episode, Lisa visited co-star Angie Katsanevas to provide comfort after a confrontation with Meredith Marks. But a few minutes into the conversation, all Lisa could talk about was herself and her beef with Heather Gay.

Nancy Mace/Angie Katsanevas

Rep. Nancy Mace, R-S.C., showed up to work on Oct. 10 in a T-shirt with a large letter A on it and said, “I’m wearing the ‘scarlet letter’ after the week that I just had, last week, being a woman up here and being demonized for my vote and for my voice,” which is just a fundamental misreading of Nathaniel Hawthorne’s “The Scarlet Letter,” wherein Hester Prynne is forced to wear a large scarlet A for being an adulteress.

Much like Nancy, Katsanevas often misreads situational context and acts out in ways that make her seem absolutely starved for camera time. Time and again her antics fall flat, leaving both her castmates and viewers frustrated and confused.

As the race for speaker of the House continues, we’re sure to get more Housewife-esque antics. Perhaps a bizarro Whitney Rose or Mary Cosby will emerge in the proceedings. Rep. Lauren Boebert and her ... extracurricular activities are practically a Housewife storyline already. There are potential entire spinoff shows to be done featuring Rep. George Santos and his bottomless bag of scandals, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene and her rift with Boebert, and AOC’s feud with former former Rep. Nancy Pelosi.

But there comes a point in every Housewife season when it’s time to end. The time in that speaker race was 13 days ago. Let’s leave the drama to Bravo and get the government back to governing.