Reason for thanks: Lake Wales nonprofit is 'happy place' for adults with disabilities

LAKE WALES — They genuinely seem to be friends, even if they are arranged into more of a rectangle than a circle.

Fourteen students at Circle of Friends Ministry, a nonprofit supporting people with intellectual and developmental disabilities, sat around a row of tables on a recent afternoon at the Lake Wales facility, exploring questions of how to properly engage with strangers. The discussion, led by a pair of instructors, served as a lesson in life skills for the clients, ranging in age from 22 to 47.

As it approaches its 25^th anniversary, the nonprofit provides crucial support for families of adults who face challenges in living independently or holding jobs.

Last week, Circle of Friends hosted its annual “Friendsgiving” assembly, a pre-Thanksgiving feast that brings together the clients, their families and the nonprofit’s staff and volunteers. Michael “Mikey” Ortaliz, 49, was particularly eager for the event, said his aunt, Susan Burden.

Ortaliz, who has Down syndrome, has been a regular at Circle of Friends for a decade.

“Oh, he's so excited,” Burden said a few days before the Friendsgiving meal. “He's been telling everybody he meets and all of our friends, ‘I have Friendsgiving coming up on the 16^th,’ and he'll tell you the day and everything. So he is thrilled.”

When it comes to Circle of Friends, gratitude flows in all directions. The clients gush with appreciation for having a place to gather with people like themselves. Their families express gratitude to the nonprofit for providing daytime care and imparting life lessons.

And the leaders of the program are thankful for the enrichment they say they gain from being around a group of people others might try to avoid.

“Every time we see one of the clients do something that someone said that they could never do — what is that word I'm looking for?” said Crystal Higbee, Circle of Friends’ president and CEO. “It’s not satisfaction, but it's … I guess gratification. I just get this overwhelming sense of pride, joy, to know, ‘Yes, they can do it.’ You just had to let them try. You just had to teach them. You just had to give them the time to do it.”

A change of leaders

Circle of Friends arose in 1999 from the desires of a Lake Wales mother of a young woman with special needs. Mertice Fehringer Kelly formed a Sunday school group for her daughter, Connie, who had intellectual and developmental disabilities, and others with special needs at First Assembly of God, now known as Impact Church.

That church group evolved into Circle of Friends Ministry, a separate nonprofit, first based at the church and then for nearly 15 years at a space in downtown Lake Wales. Higbee said the ministry outgrew the location on Stuart Avenue and moved to his current location, the former West Side Baptist Church at 333 Lime Ave., in May.

Higbee, 45, succeeded Kelly as leader of the nonprofit in 2020, a position she said she never expected to hold. Higbee, who attends Impact Church, learned about Circle of Friends after moving from California in 2000 and befriending a woman whose daughter is one of the program’s founding clients.

Higbee, a mother of five, began volunteering with the nonprofit, as did her entire family. When Kelly indicated a wish to retire and find a successor, Higbee resisted the idea of taking over. She had a stable and satisfying job as a surgical assistant and was seeking another degree with plans of becoming a nursing home administrator.

But Higbee said she felt an overwhelming call from God to apply for the position at Circle of Friends.

The nonprofit provides what might be called adult daycare, though Higbee operates the program more like a school, offering instructional programs Monday through Friday from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Circle of Friends has a staff of four instructors, an executive assistant and an office assistant, along with Higbee.

The clients present a range of diagnoses: intellectual and developmental disabilities, Down syndrome, autism spectrum disorder, mental illnesses and ADHD. Some also have physical disabilities. Their intellectual levels and aptitude for learning vary greatly, with most testing at a third- to fifth-grade level, Higbee said.

The program has grown from eight enrolled clients to 30 in the past three years, Higbee said, with a typical daily attendance of about 15. The new facility offers room for another 20, she said.

More than 90% of the clients are on scholarship, and Circle of Friends relies on donations and grants to cover its costs. The nonprofit is leasing the current property, which includes a house, with an option to buy, and Higbee hopes eventually to buy adjacent land and create Friends Village, a set of duplexes that would allow people with intellectual and developmental disabilities (IDD) to live independently.

Circle of Friends holds life-skills classes in a spacious cafeteria area adjacent to a large kitchen, in which clients learn culinary practices and make their lunches each day. A comfortable library is stocked with books grouped into categories, such as concept literacy readers and English language development, labeled by reading level.

In a corner of the library sits a cushioned chair, available for clients who experience panic attacks.

The arts and crafts room is a favorite with clients, Higbee said, with programs held each Wednesday. Students might be asked to depict their emotions through painting, or they might study a famous painting — such as Van Gogh’s “The Starry Night” — and then reproduce it.

A recreation room holds a pool table, a foosball table and an Arcade Classics video game machine, as well as shelves of board games and puzzles. A first aid room, equipped to store clients’ medications, also contains a sewing machine, affording clients the chance to learn another life skill.

Fostering independence

On a recent afternoon, lead instructor Cortney Grunder supervised as two other instructors, Lilly Lowe and Reagan Adkison, guided the 14 clients through a program on social skills. The instructors directed clients to read from printed pages derived from established educational suppliers.

Adults with IDD often lack the awareness to recognize dangers in social situations, Higbee said. That day’s lesson, covering interactions with strangers, fit into an ongoing program equipping the clients to be more self-reliant.

Lowe read from a scenario in which a man meets a woman reading a book in public and peppers her with a series of personal questions. Grunder asked why that behavior was inappropriate.

A woman named Hayley replied, “Because he was asking her a lot of questions and bothering her while she was reading.”

Grunder acknowledged the answer and gently pressed others for a deeper assessment, an approach that she and the other instructors used throughout the lesson.

“It makes her feel like not being comfortable when he asked her about her family,” offered Lynette Brown, a fellow student.

Referring to previous lessons, Grunder touched her nose and reminded the clients that it can seem nosy to ask intrusive questions of someone you don’t know well. She segued into a warning that some strangers might try to take advantage of them, especially when money is involved.

“Anyone had anything stolen from them before?” Grunder asked, and most of the clients’ hands went up. Later in the lesson she asked the students what they would do if a stranger called and asked for their bank account numbers.

Vincent, a bearded young man wearing a T-shirt with the logo of the video game “Super Mario Kart,” answered: “I would say, ‘I’m not at liberty to give that out,’ or give completely fake information.”

A woman named Erin added, “I would hang up on them!”

Families appreciate program

Burden, a Winter Haven resident, assumed care of her nephew, Michael, since her sister developed Alzheimer’s disease in 2011. Burden, who works full time as a teacher, learned about Circle of Friends from a co-worker. After talking to Kelly, she enrolled Michael in what he calls “school.”

“I can go to work and not have to worry about his safety, not have to worry that he's bored, not have to worry that he's not stimulated,” said Burden, 64. “Because he gets all that, and then, of course, he has wonderful friends.”

Michael is fairly independent and previously held a job, Burden said, but is “very immature in his thinking,” which can put him in danger.

Aside from the program’s formal lessons, Burden said Michael savors the outside activities that Higbee schedules. For example, the group volunteers once a week, picking up trash around lakes, packing food bags for another nonprofit or helping at the library.

“Crystal tries to get them out in the community — not only helping but being seen — so they do a lot of community work,” Burden said. “It’s not unusual for them to go to the public library and help clean it. Mikey loves to vacuum, and that's one of his favorite things, is to go there.”

Circle of Friends also organizes learning field trips to such locations as the L.B. Brown House in Bartow, Orlando Science Center and Florida Aquarium. On “Fun Fridays,” clients venture out with supervision for such pursuits as bowling, bocce and cornhole.

Burden said Michael particularly enjoys being able to perform with his Circle of Friends peers. He walked the runway as a model during a “Denim and Diamonds” fundraiser, and he and his peers recently performed interpretive dances at Lake Wales Pioneer Days and at a retirement community and a church.

“It makes me glad to know that my nephew will be protected and taught and encouraged and loved for who he is,” Burden said. “He doesn't come home feeling like he wasn't a part of something, and he doesn't come home feeling uncared for. He comes back feeling happy. And it's not unusual for him to just say, ‘I just love Circle of Friends.’ So that's a good feeling.”

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Mary Morosky’s son, Colton, began attending the Circle of Friends program twice a week about a year ago. Colton, 32, has both intellectual and physical disabilities. He was born with a rare chromosomal abnormality resulting in low muscle tone and a vulnerability to seizures. Doctors initially predicted that he would not survive past age 18, Morosky said.

Colton received a vagal nerve stimulator, an implant that sends electrical signals to his brain. That device, combined with medications, has reduced his seizures from as many as 70 a day to about two a month, though they remain unpredictable and intractable, his mother said. Adding to the complexity, a fall from a seizure when Colton was in eighth grade caused a traumatic brain injury, which has had lasting impact.

Morosky and her husband, Paul, both retired teachers, learned about Circle of Friends from another parent involved with the Special Olympics after moving to Lake Wales.

“What really attracted us to Circle is their motto … ‘I wouldn't change you for the world. But I would change the world for you!’ ” Morosky said. “That was like, ‘OK, this has got to be the right place.’ ”

Colton, who lives with his parents in Lake Ashton, a senior community, attends what he calls “school” on Tuesdays and Thursdays, the days the program studies math, his favorite subject. She described Circle of Friends as Colton's "happy place."

“What we love about the Circle is it's a safe place for Colton … an emotionally safe place,” Morosky said. “And he's amongst his peers, where he's accepted. He also looks forward to seeing certain students there, and we've invited some of them here, so they're developing friendships outside of the Circle as well.”

Morosky said she has talked to Higbee about creating an apartment complex, with units designed for people with disabilities, which would allow Colton and his peers to live independently. Higbee said she envisions having living coordinators living on the site and sufficient security to ensure the residents’ safety.

Higbee, who hopes to purchase the adjacent land within two years, said the villa could have as many as 20 duplexes.

'A blessing to me'

Gathered in the library, four of Circle of Friends’ established clients showed their enthusiasm for the program.

Brown, 42, has been attending since 2004, as has Melissa Biggs, 54. Barbra Olivera, 28, joined the program two years ago. Lana Gomez first joined in 2015 and has been a regular since last year.

“I'd say Circle of Friends has been really a blessing to me because I like to hang out with my friends and interact with my friends,” Gomez said. “And I also like to do the cooking class, too. I like to learn about different skills, like which measurements to use and different tools and how to cut, like, with a knife and stuff, and how to make those ingredients together come along.”

She added: “We do, like, social skills, but at the same time I like doing all the things (in which) we can interact with each other. We're all like friends here and family.”

Brown made it clear that Circle of Friends is an important part of her life.

“I really like it and having something to do, and I want to keep coming here because it’s a good place I like to be at,” she said.

Brown said her favorite class is math — “like learning to count money” — and as an aspiring photographer she cherished a trip to the Florida Aquarium.

Olivera, the shiest in the group, needed some prodding from Grunder before she declared, “I like to do art, and I love to cook.”

Biggs also cited the arts and crafts room as her preferred place. For their activity that morning, she and her fellow students had placed small succulent plants into artful pots.

Brown eagerly anticipated the Friendsgiving potluck gathering. Last year, Circle of Friends opened the event to the public, providing meals for Lake Wales residents in need. This year, following the transition to the new location, Friendsgiving reverted to an assembly for the clients, their families and staff.

“It makes me feel like it will be a blessing that everybody, like family and friends, get together around a table and eat and laugh and (give) thanks for what we have,” she said. “I know some people don't have family and I know some people does, but no matter what we’re all family in God's eyes.”

Gary White can be reached at gary.white@theledger.com or 863-802-7518. Follow on X @garywhite13.

This article originally appeared on The Ledger: Adults with special needs give thanks for Lake Wales nonprofit