Recovery journey leads woman to new family
CHILLICOTHE – When Vanessa Escamilla looks over the past five years, the direction of her life has seemed almost scripted for a movie, putting her in places she needed to be to make connections. Sometimes it was a voice in her head or just a feeling she needed to go to a certain event. Was it destiny? Whatever it was, it’s led her not only to blossom in recovery from substance use disorder to be a peer leader but to find a family who embraces all of her as a daughter.
“I’m blessed to have these people in my life,” Vanessa said. “I have no idea where I’d be if I hadn’t laid eyes on her, and she hadn’t reached out to me.”
Broken
Vanessa was born in California but moved with her dad to the Deer Creek area here in Ohio when she was just 15. Up until February 2018, she had bounced around the state living in various cities when she found herself in Washington Court House. It had been 12 years since her battle with substance use disorder began, nine years since the first time she went to detox, six years since her dad died at 50 years old, and Vanessa had just survived a suicide attempt.
Vanessa called the Paint Valley Alcohol Drug Abuse and Mental Health Board seeking help which led her to a medication assisted treatment (MAT) center, Ross County Community Action, and the Seeds of Hope shelter in Chillicothe.
“I thought as long as I was in a shelter I could walk to treatment because I knew MAT worked for me,” she said.She started treatment on Feb. 18, 2018, and moved into the shelter Feb. 21, 2018.
“Momma was the first person I laid eyes on when I opened the door,” Vanessa said. “I thought she worked there, but she was a counselor picking up the girls to go to the Recovery Council.”
Momma was Christina Arredondo who wears many hats including operating a family support group for those with loved ones with substance use disorder. As such, she naturally tried to talk to Vanessa’s aunt – the only living relative Vanessa knew in Ohio.
“She just seemed like she didn’t know what to do,” Christina said.
As for Vanessa, Christina said “she was one of the most broken people I’d ever seen, and I’ve seen a lot.” The odds seemed stacked against her success: she had no connections, struggled with mental health and substance use disorder as well as LGBTQ acceptance and being Hispanic in rural Ohio.
“She had no connections, no family, everything people look for to find that fight inside of them,” Christina said.
Breaking Down Walls
Whenever Christina would come to the shelter, Vanessa would listen to her talk. Her voice is calm, soothing, and she speaks in a slow, thoughtful and intentional manner. Her heart and passion is evident in the timbre of her voice.
“I would be sitting on my couch in my roos and think, ‘Man, they get to go with her, and I don’t get to go anywhere,’” Vanessa said with a chuckle. Although Christina was contracted through the Recovery Council at the time to provide services for the women who stayed at Seeds of Hope, Vanessa came in with her treatment already setup elsewhere.
“One time I was sitting there minding my business, and she showed me something on her phone that was LGBT related. She was just trying to talk to me, connect,” Vanessa said.
At first, Christina got a lot of push back as Vanessa’s past didn’t lend itself to trusting easily. What was her agenda? What was she going to get out of this? Since she wasn’t Vanessa’s treatment provider, Christina decided she could invite Vanessa to the family support group.
“My thought was we had a really strong support group at that time, before COVID. I knew they would welcome her with open arms. I knew if she would go, she would develop that connection she needed,” Christina said.Vanessa went and sat kind of hunched over the table, her arms crossed, and just listened to people share their struggles and triumphs with their loved ones fighting the battle she intimately knew.
“All I kept thinking was, ‘Man, that boyfriend is so lucky’ or ‘their husband is so lucky.’ Their loved one cared about them so much to sit in a group and talk about them. I didn’t know people did that. In my head, I was just like, I don’t have that,” Vanessa recalled with tears in her eyes.
As group was wrapping up, they encouraged Vanessa to share her thoughts which, to her surprise, they came tumbling out.
“Momma said, ‘That’s why I brought you here, so we can be your family.’”
“I don’t think she believed me at first because she’d been hurt so much. She was freaking terrified of it. There must have been a motive in it,” Christina said.
A Momma and a Poppa
In 2018, Christina was pouring her grief – and own money – into action in Chillicothe. Just three years before, she was dealt a devastating blow when her pregnant daughter Felicia Detty hit a trigger date, relapsed after about a year of sobriety, and died of a drug overdose at just 24 years old.
Then and now, Christina looks for gaps in the continuum of care for substance use disorder – from prevention to recovery – and seeks ways to fill them. She opened a sober living home in 2018, Bugg’s House named for Felicia, and later was a leading force in starting the drop-in center on Second Street where they are providing food, resources, and outreach to over 100 people a night. In the midst of all that and more, Christina and her husband Adam were becoming surrogate parents.
After six weeks in the shelter, Vanessa got her own place and began moving forward with a new lease on life. She spent a lot of time with Christina and Adam, especially as Bugg’s House came together. While they talked about Vanessa moving into the sober living house, it seemed like a step back to her.
“She was trying to force herself to do everything on her own,” Christina said.
Christina saw Vanessa was getting overwhelmed and convinced her to take a step back and re-evaluate, accept help. She moved in with Christina and Adam.
“She’s been with us ever since,” Christina said, noting it’s a choice for them all since at nearly five years later, Vanessa’s strength has grown that she undoubtedly could live on her own and continue her success. “We all need the connection.”
Over the past five years, Vanessa has become one of the most well-known peer supporters in Chillicothe. Her paths to today continue to circle back onto one another. She once felt she had to go to a Hope Partnership Project event at Ohio University Chillicothe. Through that, she connected with Community Action again and learned of a grant they had gotten to start a new program, CARES – Community Action Responds, Engages, and Supports Recovery.
“They were starting CARES and she said, ‘Call me in two weeks. We need a guinea pig,’” Vanessa said laughing.She then completed peer recovery training and is now a peer support facilitator and has completed training to be a peer support supervisor. She’s also now on the board of the Hope Partnership and the Ohio Peer Recovery Committee. She’s always reading, devouring resources on how to help others and continue to help herself.
“Everything I used when I came here, I’ve now become part of,” Vanessa said.
It wasn’t easy by any means, but when she hit setbacks – like apartment complexes not wanting to rent to her because of her past or the way she looked with her slick, chic mohawk – Christina was there to keep her from running away and quitting. When her heart was broken, Adam was there to wipe her tears.
“Chris has been here for me since I’ve gotten to Chillicothe,” Vanessa said. “That was the missing piece. She was the mortar.”
And Christina and Adam, what is in it for them? What is that agenda Vanessa once looked for?
“Joy,” Christina said. “She’s just such an animated person and seeing her have new adventures and experiences, she enjoys them so much. She gets to experience different things now with a family. It hurts my heart just as much as it makes me happy because I see how much she lacked.”
They also help fill a little bit of the hole from grief they both had – Vanessa lacked a mother and Christina had lost a daughter.
“Finding that connection where you build something, two people aren’t at a complete loss anymore,” Christina said. “I don’t know what to say, but it was meant to be. She fits into this family.”
“Destiny,” Vanessa agreed.
Need help?For information on local resources, go online to the Hope Partnership Project at hopepartnershipproject.com or call 2-1-1.
This article originally appeared on Chillicothe Gazette: Recovery journey leads woman to new family
