Earlier this week, I saw a post on the Am I the Asshole? subreddit that had me thinking about proper wedding etiquette. You'd think it'd be a no-brainer that guests would know not to wear their own wedding dresses to someone else's ceremony, right?
Darkbloom Productions / Via giphy.com
In case you're unfamiliar with the Am I the Asshole? subreddit, it's a space where people can post about their interpersonal conflicts, and then, other users can weigh in on who the "asshole" is in the given situation.
Well, a husband recently shared that he and his wife got into a disagreement over this exact scenario. Here's the full situation, as told by the husband, u/aitadress:
"My wife Amy (25F) and I (25M) got married a few months ago. My cousin Sam is getting married early next year to his fiancée Jane. Amy and Jane don't get along too well; they're fine in family events and stuff, but they don't run in the same circles otherwise. Amy's mentioned before that Jane doesn't want to be a part of their group, and she's too shy."
"Amy saw what Jane's dress looks like, from another cousin. I haven't seen it, but it's custom-made, white and gold, and she thinks it's too much. The issue now is that Amy's come up with the idea to wear her wedding dress to Sam and Jane's wedding. She said she doesn't have time to go dress shopping, and her dress isn't traditional white (it's pink)."
"I said no, she can't wear her wedding dress to someone else's wedding, but she's insisting. I told her if she insists on wearing this dress, she doesn't have to attend."
"Amy got really upset and said I'm trying to control her, and her dress should be reused instead of sitting in the closet."
"This has blown up, and I just don't think you should wear your wedding dress to another wedding, regardless of if it's white or not? I don't think I'm the asshole, but Amy is mad. She told her friend, and the friend also said I can't tell her if she attends or not."
"I've been looking online, and I found this picture that's similar to my wife's dress. Not exactly the same but close, if anyone wanted a reference."
Now, I don't know about you, but that dress is a very light shade of pink to me. It's nearly white!
Paramount / Via giphy.com
People on Reddit definitely had a lot to say about the matter. One person who goes by u/little_owl211 sided with the husband.
"Not the asshole. WTF is wrong with her??? This is basic knowledge, and she doesn't have time to go dress shopping my ass! Here are other solutions: wearing literally anything else she already has, borrowing a dress from a friend, online shopping, not going," they said.
"She's definitely trying to steal the spotlight for no good reason."
Another person with the username u/emotionallydented445 brought up the point that a lot of people at this wedding would recognize the wife's dress.
"Very likely OP's whole family will be at this wedding. They will recognize the dress, and it will likely damage her relationship with OP's family because they will see her for a petty witch," they said.
"And it will take a lot of work to walk that back and gain respect again. This could also affect OP's relationship with his cousin and family because 'they didn't stop her.'"
And finally, another person who goes by u/Ok-Procedure6647 gave the husband some things to think about.
"This woman thinks it's okay to wear a wedding dress to the wedding of a family member because she *checks notes* thinks the bride is too shy and doesn't like her. She then proceeds to not only double down when called on it, but accuse you of controlling her," they said.
"OP, this is over an outfit — how is this woman going to react when you're buying a house? Picking a city to live? Have a child that requires any sort of decision? If she's willing to go this far — accuse you of a form of abuse — to get her way, what the hell else is she capable of doing over something larger?"