Regrets, I’ve had a few: Gwyneth Paltrow’s emotional note to self at fifty

·2 min read
 (Getty Images)
(Getty Images)

Landmark birthdays have a habit of prompting a bit of introspection but Gwyneth Paltrow has taken it even further — penning an emotional essay ahead of turning 50.

The star, who celebrates the big day on Tuesday, said her greatest regret was having “not spoken my truth” and admitted to domestic flaws, saying: “I swear at other drivers, I don’t close my closet doors.”

Paltrow, who has largely quit acting apart from cameo roles in the Marvel films, said she had “learned” from her mistakes in the essay published on her lifestyle Goop website.

She said: “I have hurt people, never intentionally, but I have done so just the same. I have let people down by not being who they needed me to be. I have betrayed myself to keep the peace.

“I have crossed lines, the thoughts of which sometimes rip me from sleep and suspend me into the hollowness of shame for a long, dark night. Most regretfully, and so often, I have not spoken my truth to spare some perceived consequence, that hurting someone will tear us both apart.”

The actress, who dated fellow stars Brad Pitt and Ben Affleck before having two children Apple and Moses with Coldplay frontman Chris Martin, said: “My most lasting mistakes and the mess that comes with them have all stemmed from me not standing fully in my truth and speaking from it, come what may. Saying the words that could have spared seasons of heartache and repercussions. No. This does not feel right to me.”

Paltrow, who married TV producer Brad Falchuk in 2018, said she wanted to “slow down” in the future, adding: “I would like to make my circle smaller. I would like to cook dinner more...

“I would like to continue to open the deepest part of myself to my husband, even though it scares me. I would like to sing more, even if it’s just in the shower. I would like to tell anyone that had a negative experience with me that I am sorry. I would like to fully acknowledge myself.”