Relationship Goals Help Couples Get Strong

Marie Miguel
gay couple sitting next to tree hugging

When you are in a couple, it’s natural to get complacent in your relationship, especially if you two get along well. You might think, we love each other, we talk out our problems, why do we need to change anything? Having relationship goals, even when your relationship is strong, helps couples grow.

Don’t take your solid relationship for granted

Just because you and your partner have an honest and open relationship doesn’t mean you should stop working on that bond. For your relationship to retain its strength, it’s crucial for the couple to talk about their needs. Remember that people’s needs change. You might want something from your partner in the future that you didn’t foresee.

When the honeymoon phase ends

When you start dating someone you notice all the things you like about your partner. As time goes on, the illusion of perfection ends, and you begin to see that they are human and stop putting them on a pedestal. Humanizing your other half is a good thing. When you look at your partner for who they are, strengths and flaws. It’s best to avoid idolizing your partner because when they show you something that annoys you, you will be disappointed. The ending of the honeymoon phase is a good thing because now you can get to know your partner on an intimate level.

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What’s next?

Once you see that you and your partner are human beings and have flaws, it’s time to set some goals. Relationship objectives can help you strengthen the bond that you already have. Even the healthiest relationships have problems. Maybe one person likes to stay in and watch Netflix, and the other person prefers to go out hiking. It sounds like a small problem in a relationship; however, it could also be a more significant issue if one of the people in the couple isolates because they’re depressed, and the other person likes to be active. Depression can cause a strain on a relationship. Maybe one person doesn’t want to get help for their mental health issues, and the other person is frustrated because they don’t want to see their partner suffer, and they’re tired of trying to take care of them.

Mental health issues and relationships

When a person has a mental illness, it can impact a relationship significantly. Particularly if the person who has the mental illness refuses to get help. If we’re talking about relationship goals, one of the things that the couple can work on is independence. A person cannot be their partner’s therapist. Everyone should have someone they can talk to who isn’t their partner. One of the myths that our society perpetuates is that love can solve all of our problems. Co-dependency promotes the myth that you need another person to be happy and fulfilled. For your relationship to be healthy, it’s essential that you work on your problems in individual therapy, rather than relying on your partner to “save you.” Nobody can rescue you from life and its challenges. The foundation of a solid relationship is one where two people are aware of their mental health issues and don’t expect their partner to make them “better.”

Related:7 'Signs' That Let Me Know I Need Help With My Mental Health

Your goals can differ from your partner’s

Maybe you want to get a graduate degree, and your partner wants to climb a mountain. You don’t have to have the same individual goals to be a healthy couple. The important thing is that you respect the other person and what they want in life. The trouble happens when one member of the couple demeans the other person’s goals. Everyone is entitled to their wants in life, and it’s great to be a supportive partner.

Seeking help for your relationship goals

If you want to strengthen your connection with your partner further and work on relationship goals, consider seeing an online couples counselor. They can help you and your partner get on the same page and start to work toward what you both want. There’s nothing to be ashamed of if you can’t see eye to eye, that’s why therapists are there. A mental health professional wants to see you and your partner happy.

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