Remaining calm in an angry world
After a year of pandemic isolation, Tampa, FL, resident Gary Bagwell emerged to finally enjoy a “luxury” he longed for — a haircut. Sitting in the chair for the first time in 18 months, he relaxed and settled in for a little pampering.
When his barber asked a fellow stylist to make change for a $20-bill Bagwell was paying with, the burly co-worker reacted with a barrage of stinging expletives and repeatedly punched the barber, once in the face then 10 blows to his head.
In an instant, the peace that Bagwell hoped for turned to panic.
“I’ve never seen such bizarre behavior in my life," said Bagwell. “I think people today are much more on edge.”
In fact, a Gallup poll found higher levels of stress, sadness, anger and worry in 2020 than ever before at any point in the organization’s global tracking.
Whether victim or observer, an encounter with aggressive or angry behavior can catch anyone off guard. Experts say remaining calm is key to ensuring that a precarious situation doesn’t escalate. Anger management expert Ryan Martin’s advice in Psychology Today was, “Stay calm, stay safe and don’t make it worse.”
Bagwell agrees. “Inserting myself into a volatile situation like this would only make matters worse,” he said, citing practical advice he was grateful to have recalled from his congregation meetings of Jehovah’s Witnesses.
Frontline workers, airline personnel, educators and others can attest to a trend of increased aggression, even becoming targets.
While working behind the counter at a store in North Wales, in Montgomery County, Kevin Grant said he’s watched shoppers become increasingly angry, especially when a product is not in stock.
“People today are more aggressive, selfish and unreasonable,” said Grant. “You don’t know what a person’s mood will be when they come in, or what means they may use to release their aggression.”
He recalls customers pushing in front of elderly people, hitting people with their shopping cart, parking illegally and cutting to the front of the checkout line.
Grant, who has worked in retail for more than 40 years, says remembering Bible principles helps him defuse such situations.
“Before I began studying the Bible, I had an aggressive personality," he admitted. One helpful resource for Grant is the book, “Jesus — the Way, the Truth, the Life,” available on jw.org, the official website of Jehovah’s Witnesses.
“Prayer and meditation on the qualities of Jesus helped me calm down and control my feelings,” he said. “If you’re friendly and have a smile on your face you will get a better response from people.”
For fire inspector Roy La Grone of Grand Rapids, Michigan, such volatile situations have posed a particular challenge. “I’ve had a hard time controlling my anger since I was a kid,” he acknowledged.
After a four-month medical leave that ended in early 2021, he was anxious to return to work. On his first day back, he made a simple suggestion to the owner of the factory he was inspecting. In a split second, the man erupted into a verbal rant riddled with profanities.
To La Grone, the walk of 150 feet to reach the exit door felt like an eternity. The business owner followed him, yelling the entire way, while the office staff stared in stunned disbelief.
“I did everything that I could to try to calm him down,” said La Grone. “I didn’t overreact because I’ve learned that that type of behavior does not help the situation.”
Over the years, La Grone said he has worked hard to minimize his temper. He said that resources from jw.org were particularly useful in dealing with stress, controlling his anger and remaining calm rather than becoming provoked.
“Imitating the good examples of others and applying Bible principles has helped me to remain calm when under pressure,” he said.
David Stein lives in Warminster and serves in a public information capacity with Jehovah's Witnesses, which spearheaded the drafting of this piece.
This article originally appeared on The Intelligencer: Remaining calm in an angry world
