Republican U.P. farmer, Ann Arbor Democrat agree on Michigan childhood independence law | Opinion

What do the two of us — a Republican dairy farmer from the U.P. and a progressive Democrat from Ann Arbor — have in common? Besides being state Senators, that is?

The way we grew up. And the way we believe we should be allowed to raise our kids, and you should be allowed to raise yours.

Between us we’ve got seven kids, age 6 to 17. We love watching them blossom into capable young people. But as everyone knows, we are living in very cautious — sometimes over-cautious — times. There are some folks who believe you can never let your kids out of your sight.

When Jeff’s two kids were young, the family lived a couple of blocks from the elementary school. Sometimes Jeff and his wife would walk the kids home. But other times, they’d let the kids walk home on their own.

They got pushback for this. The school didn’t want to dismiss the kids unless an adult was there to walk them home. Jeff and his wife maneuvered their way around this edict, because they knew their kids were perfectly capable of walking less than a quarter of a mile. But being allowed to make a rational parenting decision shouldn’t require finagling. If you know your kids and your neighborhood, it should be up to you to decide when to give them some independence.

Stories like this — and worries on the part of our constituents that some passerby could see their kids outside and call 911 to report "neglected children" — are why we’re co-sponsoring Michigan’s Reasonable Childhood Independence law, via Senate Bills 547 and 548.

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The law clarifies that “neglect” is when you put your kids in serious, obvious danger — not any time you take your eyes off them. It says that the age-old activities of childhood, including (but not limited to) playing outside, walking to school or simply spending some unsupervised time, are actually good — crucial! — for child development. As the Journal of Pediatrics recently reported, over the years kids’ independence has declined, so has their mental health.

Both of us are so grateful we grew up in an era when children were trusted with some free time, free play and real-world responsibilities.

Ed grew up on a farm, so when he was done with his chores, he spent lots of time climbing trees, meandering through the corn fields or enjoying that perennial UP pastime: throwing rocks in ponds. Sledding, fort-building — he did all that. By the time he was a teen, he and his buddies had built their own baseball field. Downtime was spent making old farm equipment into Rube Goldberg contraptions. His parents were happy for him to spend hours outside, unreachable.

Much of Jeff’s childhood was spent the same way. Until he was 7, Jeff lived in the U.P. as well. He’d hop in a rowboat or canoe and go paddling down the creek or the St. Marys River. He was taught to be very respectful of the water, but wasn’t forbidden to explore it. Being able to pilot something as a young person was a powerful experience.

On land, he would roll around the woods on three-wheelers or little motorbikes, and sometimes he or his friends would wipe out. That’s how they learned to soothe themselves. When Jeff’s family moved to a trailer park downstate, there was lots of roaming on bikes, and knocking on doors to say, “Hi, Mrs. So-and-So. Can Dan come out and play?”

Thanks to the freedom and trust our parents gave us, we got a lot of experience dealing with adults, risk, and some pain. But most of all, we learned how to be flexible and solve problems. Two of you are playing and two more kids come over? You change the game. All four of you are playing and one kid cheats? You learn to work things out.

How do you think we got to be politicians?

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It may seem like times were safer back then, but really the biggest difference is that now the media and social media are so relentless, we hear about every awful thing that happens anywhere. A freak occurrence comes to feel common. Simple mistakes or accidents become cause for judgement and personal attacks. This off-kilter perspective makes us forget just how much kids get when we give them a little freedom.

The Reasonable Childhood Independence bill has passed in eight states so far, across the political spectrum. It passed unanimously in red state Utah, blue state Connecticut, and purple states like Virginia and Colorado. In most states, it has had bi-partisan sponsors — like us.

Both parties understand that whether a parent wants their kids to “free-range,” or simply can’t afford constant childcare when they know their child is old enough to come home with a latchkey — that’s not neglect.

Neglect is when you ignore serious danger. Not when you are doing your best to raise competent, confident, happy Michigan kids.

Who like to throw rocks in ponds.

Jeff Irwin represents Michigan's 15th District in the state Senate. Ed McBroom represents the 38th District. Submit a letter to the editor at freep.com/letters.

This article originally appeared on Detroit Free Press: Michigan childhood independence law gives parents options