Rethink ‘adopting’ a family for Christmas, Kansas City. Just give the gift of respect | Opinion

Shelly Stroessner
·2 min read
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As the holidays near, organizations and faith-based groups often choose to engage their members in the spirit of giving to those perceived to be less fortunate.

The tradition of “adopting a family” brings with it baggage of Lady Bountiful or the knight in shining armor. Mid America Assistance Coalition leads the way in connecting families and those who could benefit from additional resources with agencies that have gifts and household items to share. MAAC and many public agencies know who those families and individuals are.

In years past, individuals and groups have been so proud of themselves and get pleasure out of “adopting” a family and buying items for its children. The donors often want to give the gifts in person. They get the gratification, but the receivers’ dignity wanes.

To say “we are adopting a family for Christmas” is misleading. Adoption is a legal process, and would put the “adopting family” in the permanent role of parent or guardian. Children don’t see their parents as their providers. Someone else is putting their parents out of the picture. That is why several area charitable Christmas shops in our area give each party a role, and receivers get to select what works best for them and their families. When the giver and receiver are on the same plane, it feels like sharing.

Many opportunities exist in the metropolitan area that bring satisfaction and respect to both the receiver and the giver. Such examples are the Johnson County Christmas Bureau, the Northland Christmas Store, the Metropolitan Lutheran Ministry of Kansas City’s Christmas Store and the Mayor’s Christmas Tree Fund.

The United Way of Greater Kansas City is the best source for connecting people with year-round needs. We all have needs from time to time. Call 211 or 816-474-5112.

Shelly Stroessner is director of programs at Mid America Assistance Coalition. She co-authored this with Alice Kitchen, adjunct faculty in social work at the University of Missouri-Kansas City.