Rev. Kelley Becker: A time for rest
The last few days have really felt like summertime in northeast Oklahoma. My husband and I are trying to hold off turning on the air conditioning in our house, but I know the day to flip that switch is coming! Summer is my favorite time of year. I would much rather be too hot than too cold. With the windows open, I can hear the hummingbirds buzzing around their feeder and the songbirds singing their songs. In the summer, I take time to notice what’s right outside my window all the time. There is something about this season that encourages living life at a little slower pace.
Hopefully, this summer will be a lot of that for me. I will be taking a three-month sabbatical. There won’t be sermons or newspaper columns to write. Nobody will be expecting me at my office or waiting for me to do the thing so they can do their thing. I won’t be tied to my phone and email all the time. I can turn the ringer off and not worry that someone from the church is trying to reach me. When I say it like this, it sounds inviting.
I admit, though, I am a little bit anxious about whether I will do sabbatical the right way, though I’ve been assured there is not a wrong way to do it. The purpose of my sabbatical is to rest, reflect, and refocus. I list “rest” first because I am certain that is what I will struggle with the most. I do not rest well. I am accustomed to working a lot, not because the church forces me to, but because I love my job and there is always something more to do. Even when I’m not working, I am usually not resting. Honestly, for most of my life, rest has felt like a huge waste of time. What is it they say? “I can rest (or is it sleep) when I’m dead.”
My brain knows it is good to rest. I tell other people they need to rest all the time. For myself, I have tended to think of rest as not doing anything. But resting is doing something. My grandpa used to say that if we don’t rest, our bodies will force us to rest. We will end up injured or sick and we will rest, whether we like it or not. I feel very fortunate my body hasn’t forced me to rest, but I think my spirit is telling me it’s time.
Lately, the parts of my job that require more of me emotionally have gotten harder. As I mentioned last month, we’ve experienced a lot of death lately in the church I serve. Those celebrations of life were harder than I expected. Even though I love the people I serve, showing up at the hospital or care facility, being present in hard moments, and being a good listener has taken a toll. I am not burned out. I still love being a minister. I can’t imagine being anything else, which is good because I kind of signed up for life. I am just very tired.
We all feel this way sometimes. I recognize that it is a privilege to be able to take sabbatical time to sort myself out. I have plans for long bike rides, time with family, lots of reading, and home projects that have been put off for far too long. The thing I’m looking forward to the most is the silence. My husband is not taking a sabbatical, so the house will be quiet for most of the day. I plan to listen for the “still, small voice” of the Holy as I go about my days.
In the last few months, my colleagues have shared stories of their sabbaticals and what they did to rest, reflect, and refocus. Some have mentioned they went searching for what makes their “heart sing.” What makes your heart sing may sound a little bit corny, but it has given me food for thought. I’ve discovered that many people can immediately name what it is that makes their heart sing. They list things like making music, spending time with family, baking, gardening, or playing golf. I am looking forward to discovering what makes my heart sing in this season of life.
I wish the same for you. I hope you will have the time this summer to both think about and do whatever makes your heart sing. And I hope you enjoy it so much you will make a point of carving out more time to do it. You deserve rest. You need rest. We all do. Rest well! I’ll be back in the fall!
Rev. Kelley Becker is senior minister at Disciples Christian Church in Bartlesville.
This article originally appeared on Bartlesville Examiner-Enterprise: Rev. Kelley Becker: A time for rest
