Rick Koster: Don't send me to review your mushroom restaurant!
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Mar. 3—Did you ever watch a Travel Channel series where a guy named Andrew Zimmern crept around the globe eating horrible things? Each episode was like the food version of a snuff film.
I think the show was called "Andrew Zimmern is a Nut," and you can buy DVD collections of various seasons of the program. They include bonus footage where Andrew stumbles off-camera to retch or to be air-lifted to a poison control center.
I can assure you I would not have accepted an offer to audition for that job.
My stomach is far too squeamish. The smell of a cooking mushroom or the sight of a rolling meadow of fat covering a brisket is enough to make me shiver uncontrollably. One hot summer day I fainted when the air conditioning went out at the restaurant where we were having lunch and a fellow at the next table was served a heaping platter of aromatic broiled kidney.
Lamb, duck and most types of sushi are among other commonly enjoyed items that are nonetheless indelibly scrimshawed on my caloric "no fly" list.
The point of all this?
Well, some of you may have noticed that I write dining reviews for The Day — a task admittedly peculiar inasmuch as my list of food items I refuse to eat, when typed up, comprise a manuscript the size of "Don Quixote." And given these culinary caveats, it's fair to wonder WHY I'd be critiquing restaurants.
The truth is tricky.
For example, just because I don't want to eat certain things, there's a lot of stuff I DO enjoy — and fortunately there aren't that many nearby Andrew Zimmern-esque establishments in The Day's coverage area. It's also a fact that I always take a guest on my review outings — someone whose opinion I trust who can, for example, try the Fricassee of Mushroom and Kidney and give me a fair assessment.
What I don't know — or haven't come across — is what other restaurant reviewers might not like or eat. No one likes EVERYTHING, right? (Though my brother-in-law and close pal John Mosier will eat anything other than rye bread, butterscotch or cottage cheese.)
Both for entertainment and for illumination, I read the work of a lot of "superstar" food critics — Marina O'Loughlin, Andrew Gold, Jay Rayner, Pete Wells, Anthony Bourdain, Katie Lee and my pal Ian McNulty, to name a few. But I don't remember any of them ever writing or talking about specific foods they don't like or that they'd refuse to try during the course of an assignment. And even if they/we DID try something on a menu we loathe, is it then fair to write about it?
No — and this is why you'll never see me review Eddy's Ducks-Only Restaurant or Sweetbreads-R-Us. (Note: how many kids like myself were traumatized after dreaming about a breakfast pastry called "sweetbreads" only to cruelly learn that a calf thymus is neither sweet or a bread? In fact, it's a ... CALF THYMUS!)
What about you? I always find it interesting to hear what type of food or ingredient any given person might not like, and to learn what it is about that item that doesn't work for him or her.
And if I hear one more human say to me, "I can't believe you don't like mushrooms," I'm calling in a few favors to have that person guest-host for Zimmern on his "Broiled Spiders of the Australian Outback" episode.
In the meantime, what dishes do you avoid at all costs? Email me at r.koster@theday.com and we'll share some of the responses.
Two weeks ago, "A Question of Taste" addressed a shortage of fast food options in our part of the world. Here's what some of you thought.
"You have made me crazy! It never occurred to me that the New London area is such a fast-food desert and now I want more. How cool would it be to have an Arby's, and OMG, White Castle ...?"
Sheila Lea, New London
"If you ever find yourself in Warwick, check out Walt's Roast Beef (a slightly closer roast beef option — 47.5 miles from The Day — than Arby's in Auburn, MA). I haven't been (to Walt's) in years, but just the idea of their yummy sandwiches is making my mouth water. And very close by is a Sonic and a Chick-Filet!"
Linda Blais, Bozrah
"I would go a hundred miles for the In-n-Out burger. Groton has the perfect spot (for one) on Long Hill Road where two long-empty lots are available!"
Jean Balish, Groton
"One of the best sandwich chains is Which Wich (https://www.whichwich.com/) Before COVID there was one in New Haven. Now the nearest ones are in Pennsylvania: Wilkes-Barre, Scranton and Philadelphia. I always stop by when I travel through."
John E. Dreslin, Stonington
"I love WaWa. Seems strange, I know, because it's primarily a gas station — but they serve an amazing variety of made to order food, breakfast lunch and dinner. The closest WaWa to my house in Mystic is about 112 miles away in New Jersey. I do make it a point to always stop at WaWa if I am traveling anywhere in NJ or further south, so I do get my WaWa fix at least once a year."
Karen Podurgiel, Mystic
"FINALLY!!! Someone who shares the sadness of not having an Arby's nearby. There used to be one in the Crystal Mall decades ago, which gave rise to a Foertch family classic:
"My daughter and I went to the counter with the famous 5 for $5 beef and cheddar coupons and also asked for a Jamocha shake. Our server was a doppelgänger of Marla from 'A League of Their Own' who just stood there and said, 'No.' My daughter sheepishly repeated her request and received the same blank stare and reply of 'No.' We were eventually told they were out of Jamocha shakes, and to this day the unfriendly 'No' is the answer given in innocent joking situations."
Joann Foertch, Waterford
Larry Ryken, New London
"I enjoyed your column on the dearth of a closer Arby's and other such establishments. My wife laments the loss of a closer Long John Silvers. Google says there is one in Hartford. We may travel to that one at some point. Another good fish place was Arthur Treacher's. The closest one now in west Islip (TY Google)."
Peter Matylewicz, Oakdale
"Down in South Carolina for the week where Arby's are as abundant as early blooming forsythia, but as tasty as those Arby's sliders are, nothing but nothing compares to my first bag of White Castles on Northern Boulevard in Queens maybe 50 years ago."
Steven Slosberg, Mystic
"Our first stop on the 'Swoop' from Camp Lejeune to Connecticut back in the sixties was at Hardees for the tasty charcoal broiled flavored cheeseburger. Where can I find a Hardees?"
Bill Simons, East Lyme
"New England in general is devoid of not just fast-food selection but chain restaurants too. In my travels Texas has the greatest variety...I love a good Whataburger or Steak n' Shake, or a Pappadeux's, how many people here have ever tried Naf Naf (like a Moe's, but it's a Middle Eastern Grill). We're just the land of steady habits, I guess."
John Guetens, Uncasville
"Last year my daughter and I moved from southeastern Connecticut to eastern North Carolina and, boy, now I know what we were missing. Bojangles is my daughter's favorite, but just the amount of variety here is mind boggling. Cook Out, Sonic, Zaxby's, Chik-fil-A, Hwy 55, Smithfield's Chicken 'N Bar-B-Q, Jimmy John's, Schlotzsky's, Dank Burrito. Many of course serving (soft drink) Cheerwine. We haven't come close to trying them all. But I'm just grateful there are a couple of Dunkin Donuts nearby!"
Angela Gaeta, New Bern, NC
"OOOHHHH I want a bag full of Krystal Burgers!! Like 8 of them."
Brian Brother, New London
