Roe reaction: Two women, 2 different perspectives on their abortions

Aug. 22—JOHNSTOWN, Pa. — Gayla Regan had an abortion when she was 17 years old.

Joy, likewise, terminated a pregnancy in her early 20s.

Both were single. Neither believed at the time that she was capable of effectively raising a child. They had other plans in mind for their lives.

Eventually, Regan, a Westmont resident, and Joy, who agreed to talk about her experience provided her real name was not used in an article, became mothers later in life to children who are now adults.

The women's perspectives on their abortions are very different.

Regan still says having the procedure was the right choice and that there "should not be any shame in what a woman does with her body." She is pro-abortion rights and recently co-organized a rally outside the Planned Parenthood building in Johnstown.

Joy regrets her decision. To this day, she recalls the moment during the procedure when the doctor told her not to look at the aborted fetus.

"I wish I'd never done it," Joy said. "I go to church. I make it through church. The music plays and so forth, and then I start thinking about what I had done to that baby. That baby didn't deserve that. That baby was innocent, and helpless and dependent on me. I understand now why that doctor said, 'Don't look at it.' "

She is now a volunteer with the Pennsylvania Pro-Life Federation, a statewide right-to-life organization.

'If I could undo it ...'

Growing up, Joy wanted to become a missionary. But she ended up moving from a small town to a bigger city, started associating with different people, developed substance abuse problems and eventually became pregnant.

"When I decided to have the abortion, I had gotten a good job," Joy said. "At least I thought it was a good job. I didn't want to interfere with my life. I was single. I was supporting myself. I didn't have any big money. I've never had any big money."

Joy calls having an abortion "the worst decision I've ever made in my life."

"If I could undo it, I certainly would," Joy said. "What gives me some measure of comfort is trying to help other girls, women not make the same mistake I did and also knowing, I believe, all those babies are in Heaven with the Lord. I think they're part of the great cloud of witnesses watching, and that gives me comfort.

"It's a horrible thing to have to live with. That's why women don't want to talk about it."

She has been pregnant four or five times, with there being uncertainty about when she took a morning-after pill on one occasion. There was also a miscarriage and an ectopic pregnancy that required a surgery to save her life. Her son was delivered through an emergency cesarean section.

Joy, now a grandmother who said she has been sober "for decades," provides counseling at pregnancy care centers.

Offering an overarching look at society, Joy said she does not know "where the conscience of our country has gone," citing her concerns about violence, "rampant" addiction and abortion.

"If we don't take care of our babies, why do we think that we wouldn't be violent at other stages in life?" Joy asked.

'Our JFK day ...'

On June 30, Regan and about two dozen other abortion rights advocates gathered outside Planned Parenthood's Johnstown office, carrying signs, chanting and encouraging drivers to honk as they passed by.

Just a few days earlier, the Supreme Court of the United States, in a 5-4 decision, overturned Roe v. Wade and Planned Parenthood v. Casey, two precedents that had established that a constitutional right to abortion existed in the country. Each state can now make its own laws regarding abortion, which has led to some already restricting access.

"I refer to the day they gave the ruling as our JFK day," said Regan, comparing the historical significance to the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. "I'll never forget where I stood when I heard that they struck it down, and I wept. I couldn't believe that they would take a woman's right away, a woman's right to her body, to choose what she can do with her body."

Regan has also been looking back at her own decision to have an abortion and how "adamant" she was about not having a baby.

"I was in high school," Regan said. "I couldn't imagine being able to graduate high school and go on to additional education, while trying to maintain a child. I wasn't ready to raise a child properly. I was a child myself."

Regan emphasized that "I could not have been a good parent."

She said she talked with her partner, Planned Parenthood representatives, a family friend and her mother before having the procedure.

"My mom, she was somewhat heartbroken," Regan said. "I guess most moms want to be a grandma, so she was somewhat upset.

"But we did discuss it. After I told her about all the things in my heart that I felt would keep me from being a good parent, she understood. I'm not saying that she didn't have regrets. And, as far as my partner, he kind of abandoned me at that moment. He was like, 'I'm out. It's not mine. You do what you do." So the decision was mine."

Regan and her boyfriend later had a child together when they were adults and remain in contact to this day.

"About a year and a half ago, he and I were having a discussion about abortion, and he brought up that he was so happy that I made that choice for us," Regan said. "He realized, as well, that if he and I had a child at 17, it would have ruined our lives and we would have ruined a child's life."