The Secret to This Lasting Hollywood Marriage? Swinging

Zara Hanawalt

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If there’s one universal rule where making a marriage work is concerned, it’s this: You have to do what works for you. And if you’re anything like Thomas Middleditch and wife Mollie Gates, that’s — swinging. The Silicon Valley actor recently opened up about the unconventional secret to his successful marriage during an interview — and while it probably isn’t for everyone, it seems to working out for the actor and his wife.

“I don’t know how much I can say, because I don’t want my wife to be mad at me. Only after I got married was I like, ‘Mollie, I’m sorry, but we have to get nontraditional here.’ To her credit, instead of saying “Fuck you, I’m out,” she was like, ‘Let’s figure this out.’ To be honest, swinging has saved our marriage,” Middleditch told Playboy when asked about a trip the couple made to a swinger’s club.

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“We have different speeds, and we argue over it constantly, but it’s better than feeling unheard and alone and that you have to scurry in the shadows,” the actor added. “By the way, it’s now called being ‘part of the lifestyle.’ The term swinging is old.”

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One night I terrorized my wife by doing a character who was enthusiastic and deranged and wanted to give her a thumbs up. Naturally I thought this was a character to do in a workplace environment. Zach agreed. As did the rest of the cast. And the crew. For years we have all been giving each other 110% committed insane thumbs up approval. From our family to yours.

A post shared by Thomas Middleditch (@tombini) on Sep 11, 2019 at 5:34pm PDT

Middleditch added that he hasn’t always been “part of the lifestyle” — and he never imagined himself in it as a married man. “I just like it,” he told Playboy. “I’m sexual. I’d always thought I was a romantic and that when I fall in love, that stuff fades away. It does for some years — enough to be like, ‘I should get married, and I’ll be different.’ But it’s part of me. If that’s part of your being and it feels important to you, find a way to explore it, because repression sucks.” Straight from the horse’s mouth. And, hey, if it works for you — we’re all for it.

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