See the 27 funniest parents on social media this week
As the school year ends and summer begins, we need to remember: we'll laugh about this someday. Probably.
Until then, take a deep breath, grab something full of carbs, and enjoy a few laughs courtesy of some fellow parents.
Nope, it's not 78 either.
How many pumps of soap is needed and could you tell my kid it’s not 79?
— @love.you.memeit (@LMemeit) June 10, 2022
Facts.
Everyone knows that pressing the key fob once locks the car but only the real ones know that pressing it like eight or nine times SUPER locks it
— Ygrene™ (@Ygrene) June 12, 2022
Still no keys, though.
Last night my wife asked me to grab her keys out of her purse, but instead I found 3 Tupperware lids, 2 socks & a third kid we didn't know we had
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) June 9, 2022
Times are hard for everyone.
My daughter lost a tooth today and asked if the tooth fairy was going to bring her $5 so I think it’s safe to say that not even the tooth fairy can escape this inflation.
— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) June 9, 2022
Hands off my algorithm!
DATING: i can’t believe we have so much in common
MARRIAGE: please don’t watch your stuff under my netflix profile— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) June 7, 2022
Pass the kale, I guess. Sigh.
Being an adult sucks except for getting to eat ice cream cake whenever you want but you really shouldn’t do that because there’s no leafy greens or quinoa in ice cream cake and now I’m sad again
— Anna (@AnnaDoesntWant2) June 16, 2022
Valid.
I told my 6-year-old how happy I was to try out my new vacuum cleaner, and she looked visibly sad for me.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) June 15, 2022
That went well.
Experts: Make daily tasks more fun.
Me to 5: I bet I can get dressed before you ca---
Him: No.— My Life Is The Pitts Family (@LifePitts) June 10, 2022
Yeah, we've got one of those at home.
my kid's favorite animal at the zoo was the dog so i think we'll pass on the yearly membership, thanks
— Xennaissance Dad (@XennDad) June 9, 2022
It's fun.
I take off my sports bra like everybody else, dislocating one shoulder at a time.
— Stace (@girl_a_whirl) June 9, 2022
Summer's going well.
“You’re grounded. And you’re grounded. Now I’m grounded. Your dad is grounded. The whole family is grounded.”
Summer break, day 10.— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) June 8, 2022
Providing a public service.
If I were to live tweet my family vacation, we’d see a decline a pregnancies.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) June 7, 2022
"Wait, what?!"
Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife's plans for the second time.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) June 8, 2022
Queen.
me: you can't just wear a swimsuit to dinner. you need to put on pants.
my 5yo: pic.twitter.com/GttkGUojIA— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) June 11, 2022
Oh, just one more thing before you go...
Me: *on deathbed*
My kids: Before you go can you give us cut up apples, please— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) June 9, 2022
Savage!
My oldest was always clingy and hated sleep. He would empty his closet: clothes, diapers, baby wipes, & books - into a pile on his bed so we were forced to come into his room.
Just wanted to share that toddlers are savage and know how to get what they want.— Satirical Mommy (@SatiricalMommy) June 7, 2022
Amateur.
My first mistake was letting my kids watch all the Despicable Me movies repeatedly and my second mistake was putting on a yellow shirt with these overalls
— mean things I say to myself (@meantomyself) June 11, 2022
Soul mates!
My wife just messaged me to say she saw raccoons fighting in a dumpster and that’s how I know she’s the one
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) June 9, 2022
Worth the effort, 100%.
My son’s teacher complimented his lunches which meant a lot to me since I pack most of it for her knowing he’s only going to eat the chips and fruit snacks anyway.
— Be Kind Of Witty (@bekindofwitty) June 9, 2022
Allllll the graduations.
1st kid: you’re graduating from what?!
2nd kid: weird but okay
3rd kid: *sobbing* I’ll never get to attend another kindergarten graduation again— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) June 10, 2022
It is!
I used to be young and exciting now I think 7:30 is too late to start an episode
— Mom Meh Dearest🤦🏼♀️ (@mommeh_dearest) June 11, 2022
I have a positive relationship with Ben & Jerry's.
I like to make sure my 5yo understands how to make healthy food choices so that he grows up having a positive relationship with food. Then when he goes to sleep I eat a pint of Ben and Jerry’s for dinner.
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) June 12, 2022
There should be a Yelp category.
My rating system for kids birthday parties:
Beer for parents: 5 stars
No beer for parents: 0 stars— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) June 12, 2022
They grow up too fast.
I really miss my kids being young, not because of their cuteness, but because I used to tell them that things were closed when it was raining, and they believed me.
— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) June 11, 2022
It. Never. Ends.
Potty training is like leaving the mob. Just when you think you're out, they pull you back in.
— A Dad Influence 🇺🇸🇫🇷🇺🇦 (@gbergan) June 10, 2022
Serenity now!
My kids at 7am: What’s for breakfast? Can I play Xbox? What are we doing today? What’s blue plus blue make?
Me: pic.twitter.com/MuQgLzYihz— Mom Meh Dearest🤦🏼♀️ (@mommeh_dearest) June 11, 2022
Accurate.
toddler refers to gas as “lawn mower smell” – this is the standard that all smells should be measured against
— Dad Set Against (@DadSetAgainst) June 11, 2022
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