To see into someone's soul, binge on their Twitter likes

In Binged, Mashable breaks down why we binge-watch, how we binge-watch, and what it does to us. Because binge-watching is the new normal. And yes, we know this particular post is slightly tangential, but it's still an important public service.

By now, employers know the drill: Research applicants' tweets and Facebook posts before you hire them, lest you risk another Kevin Hart debacle. (If your candidate talks about clobbering gay toddlers over the head with dolls, they're probably not your man.)

But looking at tweets and retweets isn't enough. To understand how a potential employee thinks, you need to look at the place they hide their deepest, most perverse worldviews: their Twitter likes. 

Binging on someone's Twitter likes is both quality HR and good personal practice. Always conduct a full fave investigation before you welcome anyone new into your life.

The reasoning is straightforward. Most folks know by now that their posts are public and therefore subject to public scrutiny. That doesn't stop them from posting their terrible opinions ("I love my curvy wife") or selfies that straddle the line between "sexy" and "violating the site terms." In my experience, people are far more modest in their tweets and retweets than they are in their likes, where they show their true, often grotesque, colors.

For years, I've binged on the Twitter likes of new hires and people I've matched with on Tinder. You can't just research their recent history. You have to go all the way back to the beginning of Twitter time — a place most people never reach — to find the good, evil shit. It takes tenacity. It also pays off. 

Here's what are the red flags I look for in every person's soul/Twitter-like history:

• Evidence that the person is a member of an alt-right group

• Liking even one Ben Shapiro tweet

• Liking even one Ben Sasse tweet

• Liking any tweet that incorporates the principle of "both sides"

• Liking too many angry tweets directed at vegans and/or PETA. They're concerned about the animals and climate change and most could give AF about what you do. 

• Steak-umms likes

• For that matter, liking too much of brand Twitter

• A disproportionate number of J.K. Rowling likes. A few are acceptable, too many are cloying.

• Evidence that the person is nominally a Democrat but is also concerned about "civility." I'm personally on the lookout for David Frum and Bari Weiss likes, especially ones that resulted from the Eve Peyser-Bari Weiss Peace Treaty of 2018.

• Evidence that the person is a zodiac-shamer and won't date or socialize with folks because of their sign

• Bill Kristol likes, which signify that the person is either a neocon or watches too much MSNBC

• Jake Tapper likes, whether they're based on the questionable theory that he's a good reporter or the "work" he's done needlessly disparaging leaders of the Women's March on Twitter

• Any likes that suggest the person has gone too deep into the Russia investigation. Be wary of Seth Abramson Twitter likes, or likes that suggest "Bernie was in on it too."

• Multiple likes of tweets angrily aimed at Susan Sarandon (one 2016-based tweet is acceptable)

• Anti-trans Twitter likes. On more than one occasion I've found people who publicly support the LGBTQ community to have liked tweets in the genre of "I don't want to have sex with trans people" (so don't) or "Trans women aren't women" or "There's only two kinds of pronouns" (there aren't).

• Likes of tweets correcting someone else's grammar and/or spelling. Stop grammar shaming, folks! This platform doesn't have an edit button.

• Krassenstein brothers likes

• Likes of Trump tweets, even ironic likes

• Self-likes. This is often (always?) a sign of a narcissistic personality.

SEE ALSO: Museums are sending each other their best duck pics on Twitter

There are so many more tweet breeds to loathe. And if you're the type of person who prefers to frame the glass as half-full, there are more optimistic tweet faves to celebrate as well:

• Dolly Parton tweet likes

• Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez tweet likes

• I think that's it, really

All of this is just sample soul-searching criteria. Before you judge someone's full personality, you should develop your own critical Twitter fave benchmarks (and maybe meet them in person, snooze). Perhaps you don't like people who post too much latte art or maybe you're the type of person who wants nothing but locals content.

Either way, the best way to get to know someone's soul is to find the places where they think they're alone and can be themselves. Wherever people go, they should know they're being watched by the bored, binging judgmental nerds of Twitter.

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