It was Thursday for most of the working world, but it was Christmas morning for late night political talk show hosts, as the long-awaited full report from Robert Mueller was unleashed.
Seth Meyers noted that the Mueller fetish extended to what color tie he was wearing, with no tie indicating he was “ready for a night on the town.” He also ran a montage of how pundits were convinced for months that Mueller was “wrapping up” his report. Meyers noted cave paintings in France also speculated that it was nearly over.
One final Meyers zinger: people who were constantly refreshing their screens waiting for the Mueller report’s release got this important document the same way “most of us got our Coachella tickets,” said Meyers.
Colbert pointed out that the old saying, “the only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing” was particularly appropriate for the Trump camp. Since they did nothing, they were automatically presumed by themselves to be good men.
He also zinged Attorney General William Barr for telling “a bald-faced lie,” winning praise from Trump for being “like the son I never had.” Colbert also quoted James Madison from the Federalist Papers. Such actions were, “Super f-ed up.”
Most hilarously, Conan O’Brien asked why the Mueller report was sent to Congress on a CD-ROM. “Do computers even have CD-ROM drives any more?” O’Brien offered the Mueller Collection from K-Tel, a four CD-Rom volume that will help fans of old media keep up with the Trump investigation details.
Some of the late show monologues:
— The Late Show (@colbertlateshow) April 19, 2019