We are setting our children a dreadful example for social media
The findings are truly alarming. According to a major new study by the University of Cambridge, almost half of British teenagers admit that they’re addicted to social media. Plainly, it’s high time for their parents to intervene.
The trouble is, they can’t. And we all know why. It’s because the parents are addicted to social media, too. So they can hardly scold their children for imitating what they see every day at home.
I don’t mean to point the finger here. I’m as guilty as anyone. Thankfully my son is still too young to have a phone of his own, but once he’s a teenager, we’re bound to relent and let him have one, at least so we can keep tabs on his whereabouts. What we can do to stop him becoming addicted to social media, however, I’ve no idea.
How can I possibly order him, with a straight face, not to use it, given how many times he’s seen me scrolling away listlessly on the sofa? Unless, that is, I cite myself as a cautionary tale. “Don’t open any social media accounts, or you’ll turn into a gormless, glassy-eyed halfwit. Just like your old man.”
In all seriousness, though, perhaps this is the only way forward. Having set our children such a dreadful example, we modern parents must implore them, on bended knee, not to make the same mistake we did. For their own good, they must do what we say – not what we do.
Let’s put it in terms that our children will immediately understand. Being on social media, we should explain, is essentially like being a celebrity – but without any of the upsides, only the downsides. You don’t get the money or the glamorous photo shoots or the best table at fashionable restaurants. You do, however, get the blistering abuse from total strangers, and the disturbing personal messages from people with obvious mental health problems. Like a celebrity, you are now public property, a topic of gossip and scorn. But unlike a celebrity, you aren’t given flash cars, awards and groupies to make up for it.
If you’re especially unlucky, of course, your name will trend on Twitter, or X, or whatever Elon Musk is calling it today. Then you’ll be hurled into a whole new world of pain. George Orwell has long been acclaimed for his prophetic gifts, but this is one dystopian development he failed to foresee. He only envisaged a two-minute hate. On social media, the hatred is 24 hours a day.
It might almost be worth putting up with the abuse if social media were a useful medium for the exchange of ideas. But it isn’t. Quite the opposite, in fact. Far from encouraging honest debate, social media fosters groupthink and conformity, because its users are so desperate for the approval of others. This means that when they post an opinion, they aren’t necessarily saying, “Here’s what I really think about this particular topic.” Instead, they’re saying, “I want to signal that I’m part of the social group that expresses this opinion.” Or, “I want to become part of the social group that expresses this opinion, and so I’m hoping that expressing it will encourage that group’s members to accept me.”
In short: social media is divisive, depressing, and an all-devouring waste of its users’ time. Yes, it’s the most powerful communication tool the world has ever known. But is that really a good thing? As the late PJ O’Rourke put it: “Whose idea was it to put all the idiots on earth in touch with each other?”
At any rate, we must do all we can to protect our children from it. Little wonder, then, that Rishi Sunak is reportedly weighing up whether to ban teenagers from using social media altogether.
If only he would ban us adults, too.
