Sex-positive YouTubers are giving kids the sex talks we wish we'd had

When mum and dad's "bird and the bees" talk causes you to have more questions than answers and when your school sex education classes don't seem to cover all the bases, who can you turn to?

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Adolescents are increasingly turning to the internet to fill in the gaps. While it's a great resource, it can be difficult to navigate when you don't know what you're looking for. Some teens turn to porn to provide the answers, but porn is often filled with unrealistic portrayals of sex. Googling one's queries tends to lack the care and wisdom of a teacher whose presence can put a worried mind at ease.

Teens need people to tell them that what they're experiencing is normal. They need voices and portrayals of relationships they can relate to. The YouTube community has heard these pubescent pleas for real answers and has responded with some fantastic sex-ed content.

Whatever your sexual persuasion, these YouTubers are here to guide you with their sex-pertise.

Hannah Witton

Sex, contraception, masturbation — when it comes to the body, there's nothing that Hannah Witton won't discuss. The YouTuber and sex expert from Manchester is full of sage wisdom — her videos have even been shared in school sex education classes. She started her channel six years ago as a hobby, but her bright personality, positivity, and wealth of knowledge helped her turn her YouTube channel into a career.

Hannah hopes to educate her viewers about sex, relationships, and feminism, with video titles like Sexual Consent 101, Sexual Experimentation, and Getting to Know Your Vagina. She has recently released her first book Doing it: Let's Talk About Sex which covers sex-related topics from her own experiences as well as from different gender and sexuality perspectives.

Image: Youtube/Hannah Witton

My channel is... about sex ed, feminism and culture. 

My hero is... Caitlin Moran. 

My one sex-ed pro tip is...Don't judge people just because they're into different things than you. 

My sex related no-no is... not communicating. 

It's important for me to talk about sex because... relationships and people are so important and a big part of that is sex. And not just relationships with other people, but with ourselves and our own bodies. 

Tell us about your first ‘sex talk.'

I don’t remember the first one because my parents handed me a book about where babies come from when I was 10 and they told me about puberty and periods. But I do remember when I was 15, sitting in the bathroom with my mum in the bath as she told me not do anything I wasn’t comfortable with until I knew I was ready. 

Melanie Murphy

Melanie Murphy is the girl online who you wish was your best friend. The Irish YouTuber has got girl talk down to a T. Melanie spreads positivity and self acceptance through her videos. Her videos cover the whole gamut of life experiences — sex and sexuality, periods, masturbation, acne, and body image. She creates content that viewers can relate to.

She started her channel during university because she wanted to part of the online community. YouTube helped the once-shy young woman gain confidence. It also exposed her to a wealth of different perspectives from around the world.

"I've explored, through a screen, from my bed, other countries and cultures, politics, LGBTQ+ and race issues, " said Melanie. "YouTube has made me a lot more compassionate and empathetic. It enables you to connect with people going through things you yourself may not understand, and that's a beautiful thing."

Melanie has taken her experiences both off and online and poured them into a new book, Fully Functioning Human (Almost), that's publishing in September. 

Image: youtube/melanie murphy

My channel is... a comfortable corner of the internet to go with a cup of tea. 

My hero is... J.K. Rowling. 

My one sex-ed pro tip is... watch the Ted Talk by Erika Lust called "It's time for porn to change."

My sex related no-no is... cunnilingus with a side of beard or stubble. I don't like how it feels! 

It's important for me to talk about sex because... I grew up in Ireland and spent years in an all girls Catholic school. We had little to no sex education. I had no openly out LGBTQ+ friends, aside from one girl, and everyone made fun of her, which broke my heart. I'd have killed for sex-positive YouTubers back then. I felt so confused about my sexuality and I believed myself to be a pervert, for thinking about sex a lot, and for masturbating. Having discovered that I'm completely normal, I was filled with a desire to smash taboos and to help people to feel at ease when talking about sex OFF camera. 

Tell us about your first ‘sex talk.'

My mammy explained to me what sex was, using her fingers to demonstrate after I asked her what "virgin" meant! (I'd heard the word used in Hocus Pocus). One finger was the penis, and then a circle she created with her thumb and another finger... was the vagina. In and out. That's all I was told! Bish bash bosh. As you can imagine this was entirely unhelpful for my little, bisexual brain. 

Riyadh K

Riyadh K nearly gave up YouTube years ago after experiencing homophobic abuse online. Lucky for us all, he came back to the platform on a mission to create. The Irish YouTuber makes videos about his life, sprinkling them with his infectious sense of humuor and charm. Riyadh isn't shy about tackling taboo subjects.

"As a young gay man growing up in Ireland, sex and in particular gay sex was not a topic of conversation," he said. "The feeling that what I desired was dirty or wrong led to years of sexual anxiety and an internal battle between my body and mind."

Riyadh no longer exists with a cloud of shame looming over his head. Instead, he lives his life with joy and honesty and encourages his viewers to do the same.

"YouTube is a space where young people can freely and openly learn and discuss their sexualities, but not just on a surface level."

True to his word, Riyadh is going in depth on what it's like to be LGBTQ+ in Britain today in a new documentary series called Queer Britain that launches on 7 May.

Image: Youtube/Riyadh K

My channel is... fun, inspiring, shocking. It's Edutainment (education Vs entertainment) in its most raw form.  

My hero is... Oprah Winfrey. She is a massive inspiration to me and one of the main reasons I decided to get into the industry.   

My one sex-ed pro tip is... touch yourself! Learn to love and understand every part of your body. Look at yourself naked in the mirror and from all angles. Sex with another person is so much more enjoyable and close when you are fully at one with yourself and have stripped any body anxieties.   

My sex related no-no is... watersports (sexual activity involving urine). Each to their own, but the idea of it doesn't turn me on in the slightest.   

It's important for me to talk about sex because... it's still this big taboo subject that we talk about in hushed tones with friends. That's bullshit. Every single one of us exists because of an orgasm. It is also an extremely complex, confusing, and scary thing for a young person, yet it is one of the worst educated and spoken about subjects in schools. YouTube is the unofficial antidote to that and I believe YouTubers who encourage safe sex-positivity are doing a public service. 

Tell us about your first 'sex talk.'

I didn't really have one. I learned everything from friends and YouTube. Most of what my friends told me was terrifying and incorrect, but hilarious to think of now!

Calum McSwiggan

Calum Swiggan is a teacher at heart. The school teacher turned professional YouTuber has a whole education series on gay sex. Calum began vlogging when he moved to London after two years of travel. YouTube gave him the chance to find a community in a new city. 

"After being frustrated at the lack of LGBT+ sex education available I decided to start using my platform to talk about it myself," said Calum. "A sexual health charity reached out to me and asked me to come on-board as a member of their team. Ever since I’ve been splitting my time between YouTube and the charity; they’re the best two jobs I could ask for and they complement one another perfectly."

YouTube is just the start for Calum, who eventually wants to inspire people through his writing.

"YouTube has opened so many doors for me and I know that already having an established platform will help me to see my dream of seeing my words on the bookshelf."

Image: Youtube/Calum McSwiggan

My channel is... an LGBT+ lifestyle channel that celebrates our diverse community and focusses on mental health, sex education and other issues that affect our community

My hero is... Harvey Milk. 

My one sex-ed pro tip is... communication! Talk to your friends, talk to your partners, don’t be afraid to open up, ask questions, and explore your sexuality together.

My sex related no-no is... I don't have one. As long as everyone is of legal age, everyone is consenting, and no laws are being broken then I’m game for almost anything.  . 

It's important for me to talk about sex because... the more you talk about sex, the less other people are afraid to. So many people feel ashamed to talk about their sex lives and their kinks and the things that turn them on — but as soon as they see a smiling face talking about it with confidence it’s almost like that shame is completely lifted. 

Tell us about your first ‘sex talk.'

I never really had a sex talk. We weren’t given sex education in school and it was never something I discussed with my parents. I guess I picked up pieces of information along the way and finally figured it out for myself. I think I was masturbating before I even knew what I was doing. It just felt good so I went with it. I try to apply that logic to all of my sexual experiences. 

Grace Victory 

Presenter and vlogger Grace Victory is kind of like the internet's big sister, endowing her followers with the wisdom and knowledge only a person of her experience and creativity could offer. Her YouTube channel is stocked with videos about fashion, body positivity, and life advice — including sex and relationships. The vlogger chats naturally and realistically about what to expect from sex because it's not all sunshine and roses — sometimes it's gross and hilarious. From farting during sex to porn to consent, Grace doesn't hold back.

She started her channel in 2011 because she wanted to see more people like her represented in the media. Grace's mission is to inspire others to love who they are. While the media can have its drawbacks, social media has opened her eyes to what's going on around the world. 

"I feel so awake and educated," said Grace.

Image: youtube/Grace f victory

My channel is... real. 

My hero is... my younger self.

My one sex-ed pro tip is... always pee after sex and if you can't, run the tap so you get the urge. 

My sex related no-no is... period sex. LOL. It's just not for me. When I'm on my period I can't think of anything worse than someone touching me.

It's important for me to talk about sex because... no subject should be too taboo and in my mind, why wouldn't we talk about something that happens every second of every day?

Tell us about your first 'sex talk.'

I don't actually remember it. I feel like I just knew about sex. I do remember sex-ed in year six though — we were shown the most dated, bizarre video of a couple having sex. The entire form were laughing so that was memorable. 

Rose and Rosie

Rosie Spaughton and Rose Ellen Dix are genuine couple goals (and not in a fake Instagram way). Their channel got started when Rose uploaded a video project of Ke$ha's "Tik Tok" to YouTube for a university project. When the couple first met and started to make videos together, the YoTtube channel was an excuse to keep seeing each other.

"We would be like, 'We have to meet up again and film a new video. We can't leave our seven viewers waiting!'" said Rosie.

The married duo spread positivity and laughter through vlogging about their experiences together — and sex is not off the table.

"Unfortunately, Rose and I have a distinct lack of filter so we say a lot of embarrassing things," said Rosie. "But we never feel embarrassed or regret what we say, until our parents casually remind us that they watch the videos."

While Rose and Rosie aren't sex educators, their natural way of talking about sex in their relationship shows their audience what it's like to have a healthy sexual relationship with open communication. Their YouTube channel provides a safe environment for their viewers to voice their opinions and learn about life from a different perspective.

Image: Youtube/Rose ellen dix

Our channel is... better than most channels. 

Our hero is... Camila Cabello.

Our one sex-ed pro tip is... stop what you’re doing if it burns! 

Our sex ed no-no is... yet to be discovered. 

It's important for us to talk about sex because... our audience started asking questions and we just answered honestly. We don’t try to claim we know everything about everything! But we do believe that it is vital to show people that sex is totally natural and that communication is key! 

Tell us about your first 'sex talk.'

The first sex talk Rose had was with her Dad. I don’t have a dad, therefore I learned by doing. 

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