Sharon Kennedy: Happy Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is a special occasion when children honor their mother with cards, candy, flowers and gifts. It used to be simple when couples stayed together and divorce was unheard of, but today it’s a bit more complicated. The step-mother as well as the biological mother must be remembered and sent a card or taken to dinner. It’s probably wise to treat each equally lest favoritism is shown to one mom and the other is barely recognized as a family member.

Sometimes there are multiple women who filled the role of motherhood in the life of a child. There’s the “original” one, the step-one, dad’s “old” partner and his “new” one. If children are quite young, such situations can lead to confusion. Kids might wonder which “mother” gets the homemade card, the freshly picked dandelions, dinner at Wendy’s or the phone call. This is especially true if they all live in the same town and have remained in contact. It’s important to remember all the kind and loving “moms” who helped raise the children.

Motherhood is not an easy job. When a son is born, he doesn’t come with instructions. The same goes for a daughter. It would be nice if each was able to tell us how they need to be raised. One might require lots of praise and attention while the other might prefer independence and consider praise less worthy than honest communication. One child is satisfied with her own company. Her sister loves to be surrounded by friends. A son pesters his dad to take him hunting and fishing, but his brother wants to stay in his room and write poetry. How does a mother treat each of her offspring equally when she doesn’t understand them because they’re like foreign creatures from a strange planet?

As mothers we show our love the best we can. I remember how difficult it was for Mom to remain strong and not break down when my brother was heading for Vietnam in 1969. It was heartbreaking to watch her hold back tears as she hugged him goodbye not knowing if he would come home or be listed as MIA or as a POW or return in a body bag. He was her only son. Although she didn’t mention it, I’m sure she saw him as her little boy who loved playing with plastic soldiers and shooting his Roy Rogers cap gun. She never dreamed he would one day be sent to war.

When she was 75, she was hit with a bogus probate lawsuit that caused her undue hardship and emotional pain. Her crime was “undue enrichment” or something like that. Her sister had always freely and lovingly given her money. She was 14 years older than Mom and acted more like a mother than a sister. Mom was forced to pay $200 a month as rent to remain in her own home. I drove her to the lawyer who sued her. She handed him the money and asked why he did it. I don’t know his response, but I know she went to her grave crying “foul.”

Along with the joy of motherhood, there’s also the sorrow of seeing our adult children in physical pain or struggling financially. Our “job” doesn’t end when they leave the nest. Our love and desire to protect them never ends until we do. As we breathe our last, we pray they will be safe and find happiness in their challenging role as mother.

— To contact Sharon Kennedy, send her an email at authorsharonkennedy.com. Kennedy's new book, "View from the SideRoad: A Collection of Upper Peninsula Stories," is available from her or Amazon.

This article originally appeared on The Sault News: Sharon Kennedy: Happy Mother’s Day