Sharon Kennedy: Lots of communication but no comprehension
In this century, we have more means of communicating with each other than ever before in the history of mankind. The way I see it our trouble isn’t communicating with people. It’s comprehending what’s being said. With very little effort, we can tell the world what we’re thinking regarding anything or anyone. With the slightest touch of our thumb or fingers, we’re capable of spouting whatever is on our mind.
That can be a good thing. We can post or voice encouraging words to those who need to hear them. We can uplift folks who are feeling down and brighten their day by sending a gif that costs nothing more than a few minutes of our time. If we turn to YouTube, we’ll find lots of people who share our interests. When we use technology in this way, our communication is one-sided but pleasant and easy to comprehend because we’re seeking kindred spirits.
However, the opposite is also true. If we’re looking for an argument or to stir up trouble on a social media platform, we won’t be disappointed. Some people enjoy an intelligent debate while others want nothing more than a loud and hostile written or verbal exchange. They’re not interested in factual data. They’re itching for a fight, and they’re rarely disappointed.
When we listen to arguments that differ from ours, we might fail to understand what others are saying. We look for weak spots and can’t wait to jump in and poke holes in the speaker’s opinion. We’re so eager to prove we’re right, we don’t allow others to conclude their conversation. This is true whether we’re watching a show from the comfort of our living room or talking to a friend.
I don’t understand why we feel it’s necessary to interrupt a speaker. You know as well as I do that even if we’re alone, we yell at the person voicing his/her views on our
favorite television or radio “news” show. When I listen to the Thom Hartmann Program, his constant interruption of callers is a turn-off. I want to hear what his critics are saying. I might disagree with them, but I still want to hear them and attempt to understand why they feel the way they do.
Lack of communication when communicating should be so easy, causes a lot of trouble. We’ve lost the ability to intelligently debate issues on the political as well as the home front. Regardless of who’s talking, we listen, but we don’t hear what’s being said. We often become victims or resort to passive-aggressive behavior which solves nothing and causes people to emotionally and verbally shut down. Serious issues remain unsolved. Feelings are hurt and the cycle of miscommunication continues.
In the old days, children were not allowed to speak unless spoken to. We were expected to obey rules at home, at school and at church. We learned at an early age to stuff our emotions down as if they didn’t exist, but they did. They often manifested themselves in adulthood where their negativity and hostility emerged to the detriment of others and embarrassment to us. As our tongue loosened, the venom in our storehouse of hurt tumbled out. It’s happening everywhere as younger, angrier generations take over and squeeze out angry oldsters.
So the next time someone attempts to communicate with us, perhaps we should try to comprehend what they’re saying and keep our mouth shut until they finish speaking. We might actually learn something.
— To contact Sharon Kennedy, send her an email at authorsharonkennedy.com. Kennedy's new book, "View from the SideRoad: A Collection of Upper Peninsula Stories," is available from her or Amazon.
This article originally appeared on The Sault News: Sharon Kennedy: Lots of communication but no comprehension
