'She helped me see I could do anything': PEARLS for Teen Girls director remembered

If Gerry Howze could name the biggest gift she gave the hundreds of girls and people she worked with, what would that be?

"I fight for them," she said in the Women Who Open Doors podcast in 2020.

The former PEARLS for Teen Girls executive director and 2023 Milwaukee Women of Influence honoree built a legacy of helping others find and show their resiliency.

Howze, 56, who lived in the Milwaukee area, including Wauwatosa, died Sept. 17 after having a rare kind of cancer for a bit more than two years.

Howze had been PEARLS for Teen Girls executive director since 2015 and worked for the nonprofit for over 25 years. PEARLS serves girls in fifth through 12th grades with a "girls-first, girls-lead" approach, according to its website. PEARLS groups in the Milwaukee area emphasize career exploration, college readiness and leadership.

Howze's work with the organization garnered the attention of Milwaukee County Executive David Crowley, who posted on his county executive Facebook page that Howze "radiated love, positivity and unity."

Overcoming the death of her parents at a young age, being a teen parent, surviving domestic violence, and overcoming addiction and homelessness, Howze used the lessons she learned to inspire many girls toward greatness, said Andrea Garcia, PEARLS for Teen Girls program manager.

"Life knocked her down, and she got right back up," Garcia said. "Within her journey of life, through the ups and downs, she never lost her authenticity, passion or love."

Coping with the loss of both of her parents

When Howze was a child, she explained to Women Who Open Doors podcast host Julie Cosich Collins, she was part of a loving family where she was afforded nice things.

But in middle school, things went downhill. Her mother died of leukemia. Her dad, heartbroken by his wife's death, turned to drinking and died about a year later. Howze said there were a lot of custody battles, but she and her twin sister lived with a guardian, which seemed like a good idea at the time.

Howze detailed that she endured "psychological and emotional abuse" and was told she was "fat, ugly and that no one would ever love me." She and her twin were separated "when they needed each other the most," she said.

Howze became a teen parent because she said she "looked for affirmation in all the wrong places."

She then moved from Chicago to Milwaukee for a fresh start as a single parent. She was hired at Aurora Family Services, where she helped families.

"She helped my family find housing," said Shakia Smith, who is now a lawyer in Milwaukee. "When I moved from Chicago with my mom, we were homeless when I was 2," said Smith. Smith was also in PEARLS for Teen Girls in middle school and then became a teen facilitator.

"She helped me see I could do anything I wanted," said Smith, who is now opening her own law firm. "She would not allow me to stand in the way of myself."

Howze started her own coaching and leadership firm

A month before Howze died, Colleen Fitzgerald, who founded PEARLS for Teen Girls, met Howze at Froedtert Hospital, where the medical staff said that there was "nothing more Western medicine can do." Howze was leaving for home hospice.

She figured Howze must be feeling scared.

Instead, Howze showed Fitzgerald her iPad with three chapters of the book she had written and an outline for more. Howze was writing about virtues she valued, how to face challenges, and what she had learned.

"She wanted to be a coach to others and to keep giving back," said Fitzgerald. "I am sorry for the community."

When Howze resigned from PEARLS for Teen Girls in April 2023 to focus on her health, she created Gerry Howze Enterprises to conduct coaching and leadership training. Her words, when she announced this on her LinkedIn page were: "I am just getting started."

Caitlin Cullen, who is on the board for PEARLS for Teen Girls, noticed the difference in Howze's approach to life since her cancer diagnosis. "She started to live even more," Cullen said.

She found love and got married, said Cullen. "She got a pair of little dogs and planned big trips. (Her cancer diagnosis) encouraged her to live," she said. "It is crazy. I would go and cry. She continued every day."

Howze even showed resiliency when her wife, Paula Howze, got diagnosed with breast cancer this year and just finished her second round of chemotherapy, Cullen said.

"She kept doing what she could."

'She is like a shadow, but in light'

When Ambryon Mckinnie joined PEARLS in fifth grade, she said the group was "always my voice when I felt I had no one. It gave me a safe place."

She said she felt most comfortable sharing her personal life in PEARLS for Teen Girls.

She considered Howze to be "a mentor, a second mom, a therapist" and "an abundance of light in my life."

"She is like a shadow, but in light," she said.

"PEARLS gave me a voice and a safe space," said Mckinnie, who is now a human resources administrator at a private redistribution company. "It was somewhere to put my emotions when I did not know how to handle them."

McKinnie said Howze was positive, uplifting and someone who could give unconditional love.

"She gave the absolute best hugs," McKinnie said. "I have not let anyone else hug me for that reason. It will never compare to a hug from Miss Gerry."

Howze was 'like a mother' to girls coming into PEARLS looking for guidance

Melissa Blue Muhammed, who worked as a program coordinator for PEARLS, said Howze gave her the confidence to dream bigger.

"She created the space for me to grow and cultivated me as a leader," said Muhammed, who owns her own healing arts business. She said when she left the organization, "we became sisters for life."

"She was like a mother to most of the girls coming into PEARLS looking for guidance," said Myesha Henderson, who was in the PEARLS for Girls program in 2007 and became a teen facilitator in 2009.

Fitzgerald emphasized relationship skills that set her apart from others. She acknowledged that she connected barriers between races and people with different roles in the department.

"Everyone knew they were loved and supported," said Fitzgerald.

Cullen echoed Fitzgerald's comments and said that PEARLS for Teen Girls is a success due to Howze's leadership.

"PEARLS is an amazing organization and turned into one of the city's well-respected nonprofits," said Cullen.

In the last few weeks, Cullen said that so many past PEARLS girls, colleagues and other people impacted by Howze's work all wanted to see her.

"She made herself heard and seen," Garcia said. "Gerry has inspired me to practice these traits and become a role model and a powerful woman who achieves her goals and dreams. Once a PEARLS girl, Always a PEARLS girl."

A memorial and celebration of life for Howze is being planned. For updates, visit Howze's CaringBridge site at caringbridge.org/visit/gerryhowze.

Cathy Kozlowicz can be reached at 262-361-9132 or cathy.kozlowicz@jrn.com. Follow her on Twitter at @kozlowicz_cathy.

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This article originally appeared on Milwaukee Journal Sentinel: Gerry Howze, who worked with teen girls, dies at age 56