She lost 125 pounds. Now she's learning to be an 'anti' almond mom

Amanda Rakoczy was 8 when her mother started bringing her to Weight Watchers meetings.

“I grew up in a household where we would go out to dinner, and I’d have to get salads with croutons and dressing on the side, and my sister, who was skinny, got half a rack of ribs and a side of fries," Rakoczy, 34, tells TODAY.com.

Rakoczy had what she describes as a “well-meaning almond mom.”

The term “almond mom” went viral on social media earlier this year, thanks in part to a comment made by “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” alum Yolanda Hadid.

In an old clip from “RHOB,” Yolanda receives a call from her then 14-year-old daughter, supermodel Gigi Hadid.

“I’m feeling really weak. I had, like, half an almond,” Gigi tells her mom.

Yolanda’s response? “Have a couple of almonds, and chew them really well.”

Dr. Karla Lester, a pediatrician and childhood obesity expert, previously told TODAY.com that an almond mom is usually “stuck in diet culture,” and likely grew up hearing phrases such as “a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips,” and “you’re not hungry, you’re bored.”

Rakoczy isn’t angry with her parents for tightly controlling what she ate — but she is determined to do things differently with her own children. She also wants to educate other parents on how to unlearn toxic beliefs such as, "Carbs are bad."

In a recent TikTok video, Rakoczy, who says she has found "food freedom," offered tips on how to be an "anti" almond mom."

“I was very overweight and I don’t think (my parents) knew how to handle the situation,” she says. “I have this memory of my pediatrician recommending different diets and my Dad being like, ‘You’ve got to be freaking kidding me.’ But you listen to the doctor, so I went on diets."

Studies show that food restrictions can backfire, and Rakoczy says this was her experience.

“I sneaked food, I hid food, and I would binge,” Rakoczy recalls. "When I had access to certain foods, I would overeat because I wanted to bank them. I had so much shame around food."

By age 27, Rakoczy, who is 5 feet, 10 inches, weighed 300 pounds. She was later diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS). PCOS is an umbrella term for a hormonal disorder, which can cause insulin resistance, weight gain and irregular periods in women

With the help of Mounjaro, a Type 2 diabetes medication, that can also help treat obesity by reducing appetite, Rakoczy lost 125 pounds. Don't call it a victory — at least not in front of Rakoczy’s 4-year-old son and 3-year-old daughter.

In Rakoczy's TikTok video titled “Anti-Almond Mom,” she shared how she is helping her kids develop a healthy relationship with food and ending a cycle of generational dieting trauma. (Rakoczy says her grandmother constantly talked about weighing 109 pounds on her wedding day.)

“Number one, we do not comment on people’s bodies… Bodies are neutral,” Rakoczy began. “We also don’t comment about people's health.’

As an example, Rakoczy recounted how her father made a remark in front of his grandchildren about Santa Claus needing to go on a diet. Rakoczy and her husband “quickly corrected him” and explained that “We are not Santa’s doctor, we are not aware of his health, and that is not for us to decide.”

Rakoczy is also careful to not use food as a reward for good behavior, as it has no moral value. You also won’t hear Rakoczy talking about her body in a negative way.

“I’ll comment about how the jeans don’t fit my hips or the shirt is too lose. I’m changing the clothes, not the body,” she said.

If Rakoczy’s kiddos want seconds, they get seconds — no questions asked.

“We honor hunger cues,” she said.

Arielle “Dani” Lebovitz, a pediatric dietician, previously told TODAY.com that when parents overly restrict access to specific foods, it “creates a scarcity mindset” which can lead to “sneaking and overeating.”

Rakoczy says she has found this to be true.

“My kids know they can have ice cream whenever they want ice cream, so they don’t go crazy,” she tells TODAY.com. “They have free access to cookies and granola bars — and I end up throwing them away because they expire!"

According to a 2023 study published in the journal JAMA Pediatrics, more than 1 in 5 adolescents around the world struggle with disordered eating. Meanwhile, a 2011 study found that anxiety around body image starts at around age 3.

"I never want my kids to feel shame around food," Rakoczy says. "It doesn't lead to anything good."

Comments continue to pour in on Rakoczy's video.

"Thank you for sharing this! I just had a baby and I don’t want to talk about food and bodies the way my mom/grandma did but wasn’t sure how," one person wrote.

Added another, "This is exactly how I grew up. I’ve never had any negativity towards food bc of it, go mama."

This article was originally published on TODAY.com