Shellys commentary: Today is Christmas Eve, celebrating what brings us together
Today is Christmas Eve. For Christians, Christmas is about a promise fulfilled in Bethlehem over 2,000 years ago, but because we live in a secular world, the focus has expanded – we put up Christmas trees, go shopping, gather with family and friends, bake, watch Hallmark Christmas movies, and go to the Nutcracker. Christmas has so many layers to it, but one thing we know is that memories of Christmas “help define a person’s life (or) tie together one’s life story.”
In the magazine, Magnolia, Joanna and Chip Gaines focus their winter journal on the concept of connection - “celebrating what brings us together.” It is likely that our Christmas memories always involve connection or its absence. There is no single answer as to what connection is, but at Christmas, we almost always become nostalgic, tell stories, and recreate traditions. Joanna writes: “Some things in life get sweeter with time. I think holidays are one of them…. I can’t help but imagine our traditions look similar, yours and mine…. and that connection – the hands we shake, the hugs we give, the way we all squeeze in shoulder to shoulder around the table – is what makes the holidays sing. We laugh, we listen, we lean close.” She suggests that it is the gift of “shared experiences that deepen our understanding of ourselves and one other.”
When we begin to reflect on those special memories, it’s important that we not ignore the less than perfect Christmas memories. “Nostalgia, memories, even when they may have a tinge of sadness, allow us to understand where we have been in our lives and the people we have gotten to know along the way, (including) people who are no longer with us.” Christmas may be a difficult and lonely time of year for some, because memories can be painful. Even the smallest human connection becomes an opportunity to touch someone else’s life, and it could make all the difference. A woman told the story of being in a large city, where the noise, movement, and numbers were overwhelming. She put in her Air-Pods and was making her way through the holiday crowds anticipating the quiet and safety of her apartment, when an older woman touched her arm and asked if she would tie her shoe. The woman kneeled down and tied the old woman’s shoe. Why did the older woman choose to ask her and why did the young woman respond? They did not know one another and their encounter was brief. We will never know the difference that that intimate moment of asking for help, stopping, and tying that shoe made. We will never know their stories, but they each had one. Their connection sent the message, “I see you and I care.” It’s said that “people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Christmas is a beautiful time to be open to the possibilities of connection – to see those around us and to take a risk.
What about the connections we’ve missed? Remember, when we didn’t stop or initiate a conversation or were in too big a hurry or we simply didn’t want to get involved? What about the connections we almost missed? What if Walt had not stopped at the table, where Linda was studying in the student union at CU and what if he hadn’t asked if he could sit down? What if? If we are willing to risk, we might find out how a great deal about ourselves and others. Think about the times when we our hesitation or fear turned into a real connection. Those times may have turned into some of our greatest joys, rather than our greatest regrets. Acknowledging the isolation that many experience these days and how difficult it can be to make connections will hopefully cause us to pause and contemplate how things could be different and what our role might be. Every day we have opportunities to make connections – our actions are our choice.
On this Christmas Eve, we have been given the gift of experiencing and remembering the blessings and joy that can be found in our connections with others – around the table, at the Christmas Eve service or giving and receiving gifts. We also have the opportunity to widen the circle and include others. On this Christmas Eve, it might benefit us to spend some quiet moments reflecting on the story of that first Christmas, remembering that night’s message and the ways in which connection was at its core and remains so today.
Walter Shelly retired after 40 years as a professor of political science at West Texas A&M University. Linda Shelly retired after 33 years of teaching sociology at West Texas A&M University and Amarillo College.
This article originally appeared on Amarillo Globe-News: Shellys commentary: Today is Christmas Eve, celebrating connection
