These six hormones have the power to change your life
Our bodies are full of tiny messengers, marching around telling us whether we should throw a tantrum, eat a doughnut, or fall in love. So far scientists have identified over 50 of these dispatch-riders, the neurotransmitters that we call hormones.
And shooting these messengers has become an endemic habit, blaming our hormones when we’re not feeling up to scratch.
What if we got to know them better? Perhaps then we wouldn’t be in such a hurry to blame them for simply doing their job.
The Swedish lecturer and author David J P Phillips has built a career on coaching people to communicate better with each other. His TED Talk has been viewed over two million times.
Now he wants us all to learn how to communicate with our own hormones. Deep diving into his own body’s chemical factory has helped lift him out of personal adversity. Having suffered from depression, he has learnt to harness his hormones to better control his mood.
“If you learn to optimise your body’s chemical factory you can change your emotional state whenever you want,” says Phillips with a broad smile.
His book High on Life was published to great acclaim in his home country – although his father was English (“He met a beautiful woman”) – and has now been published in the UK.
He has picked out six key substances: dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, cortisol, endorphin and testosterone – and explained how they impact our mood and overall wellness.
“This is the hardest world our brain has ever lived in. There’s so much stimulus. It’s hard work. So these are tools to be able to exist with ourselves and enjoy this phenomenal world we have. If we don’t take charge of our own brain, it is a very difficult world to live in.”
Taking him at his word, I tried to make friends with my hormones for a week. This is how I fared.
Cortisol
Definition
“The greatest potential enemy of them all,” is how Phillips describes cortisol and says that getting it under control is the most important thing.
In stressful situations your adrenal glands release cortisol into your bloodstream, which in turn triggers a huge release of glucose. This glucose gives you the energy you need to handle a stressful situation.
“If your cortisol levels are too high then they will negatively impact the rest of your substances to such a degree that the rest of the stuff you do won’t be as impactful.”
Although, in quick bursts, cortisol can be amazing. “It’s part of the chemistry that makes us excited for life. However, slow, prolonged stress is not good.”
Prescription
In general, avoiding stressful situations and people is a must: “If there’s someone who puts you in a less good mood, avoid them.”
But the ‘low-hanging fruit’ of controlling your cortisol levels is to avoid the news: “If we over-consume negative news then that becomes our reality and it stresses us,” says Phillips. “And when cortisol is increased your serotonin is impacted.”
If you watch television then make it comedy, advises Phillips: “People feel alive when they watch gripping TV. I think a lot of people don’t feel alive, so it’s an easy way to, but it’s spiking our cortisol and often just before we go to bed.”
Activities that will help cortisol levels are meditation (“Try to do 15 minutes a day, set a timer”) and gentle exercise such as tai chi pose and less intense yoga.
The results
Full disclosure, at the point of writing this article, I had suffered from a tension headache for six days. My life is driven by deadlines. Sometimes it all gets too much and cortisol floods into every aspect of my life. I brush my teeth in a rush, I eat my food, I walk to get the tube. It’s like I’m on a wild horse. And this was one of those weeks.
I try my best to get hold of the reins. I try to avoid the news for a week. But even though I’m at the soft end of the journalism spectrum, it’s pretty impossible.
I can’t avoid the tube, where I get stressed by people hitting me with their backpacks or not giving up their seats to the elderly.
I do yoga at work in my lunch hour twice, it helps for an hour, but then I’m back on the wild horse.
Periodically I try to stop my brain projecting forward and focus on the present, relaxing my jaw and dropping into a state of meditation. I close my eyes and think about my breath. I manage about 30 seconds at a time. It’s hard to maintain that composure.
Dopamine
Definition
It is thanks to dopamine that we experience the drive and motivation to keep ourselves alive. It was originally needed to make us seek out high reward foods and learn rewarding behaviours where effort was required. However, our world now has an abundance of dopamine sources that didn’t exist in caveman times. In particular, says Phillips, smart phones have completely distorted our relationship with dopamine.
“We have a device in our hand that’s constantly training us to be discontent with life. We want to see new things all the time. Life becomes a swipe, your friends become a swipe, dinner becomes a swipe. It’s always on to the next.”
We’ve also become dopamine stackers: if you’ve ever watched a film while intermittently scrolling on your phone, then you are guilty of stacking. “Indulging in readily available dopamine sources causes you to need more stimulation over time to enjoy the same enjoyable effect.”
That, junk food, bingeing on a television series, are all examples of dopamine firing activities that ultimately leave us feeling dissatisfied.
Prescription
To slow my dopamine down and wean myself off fast dopamine habits such as social media scrolling and internet tab jumping.
“With dopamine, you’ve got to replace it with something else,” says Phillips. His top swaps are to engage in learning activities. Watch TED Talks, pick up an old hobby, write poems, read books, do a crossword puzzle, or listen to an entire album.
These are activities that will be of use to you in the future, and whose benefits extend beyond the present moment; unlike doom scrolling, that ultimately makes us feel worse.
A good balance of what Phillips labels fast and slow dopamine hits is 20 per cent fast and 80 per cent slow.
“It will be tough for the first week. It will get easier and after two weeks you are going to think ‘Wow, I was a zombie before, I was controlled by stuff that other people were feeding me’,” says Phillips. Practically he recommends having my phone set so it locks after a certain time. He locks his at 7pm every night, although he can still take calls.
The results
I’ve worked myself into a high dopamine dependency state. My inability to focus and concentrate has been depressing me. Never mind the monkey mind, I have a gnat’s mind nowadays. I am desperate to be able to be more present, to not need constant stimuli.
I immediately delete Instagram from my phone as well as Vinted (a terrible scrolling habit of mine). While I don’t go as far as getting out my old clarinet, I consider it. The major change is leaving my phone in a different room, particularly when I’m reading.
That stops the dopamine tick of checking it regularly. I choose a non-fiction book by Philip Parker about Britain’s history through 12 maps; I feel the reward of learning. It becomes an anchor through my week, every time I feel dopamine urging me towards my phone.
While I have lapses, finding myself looking at old photos on my phone in lieu of Instagram, I can feel a new equilibrium slowly settling.
Serotonin
Definition
When you feel fulfilled, content and at ease with the world you have more serotonin. It is strongly linked to social status and self-esteem. “However dopamine is always putting us on the edge of craving more. So it works against serotonin,” says Phillips.
The modern world has caused a crisis of self criticism and serotonin: “We don’t have the best view of ourselves,” says Phillips.
Prescription
“For serotonin, the super important thing is to take a walk in the morning.” Exercise and good sleep help with keeping serotonin levels high.
Seeing the sunrise and the sunset will help with circadian rhythm setting.
Social context is also important. “See friends who lift you up and make you feel valuable. Call them, spend time with them.”
Being single and online dating can be damaging to serotonin, says Phillips: “If you’re constantly facing rejection, then your self-esteem and perspective of yourself in the hierarchy will be impacted.”
If you have low self-esteem, a good exercise is to recognise when you self-criticise and pay yourself three compliments instead: “You don’t have to believe the compliments, just give them,” says Phillips. “Notice if a little cloud lifts.”
Another challenge is to pick a different sense each day: smell, touch, feel, taste and sight, and tune into them.
“Feel the water on you while you’re showering, taste your food more slowly, notice the colours of things.”
Connect in an awe element too, says Phillips: “Don’t just listen to a bird, think how amazing it is it can fly. The more you practise this the better you will get at being more mindful.”
The results
My tension headache is so bad that I will admit, I struggled. I spend nine hours a day in the office five days a week. It’s hard for me to feel awe, especially in winter. My one opportunity during the week is the walk down the canal from my flat to the tube station each morning. Often I phone my mum, but this week I try to tune into the nature around me. There are grebes, swans, moorhens all among the bullrushes. It’s the best part of my day. I haphazardly try to be mindful, bouncing from sense to sound. And I forget to pay myself compliments, although I admit it does make a difference, when I remember.
Oxytocin
Definition
Oxytocin has the unique function of forging a sense of connectedness between yourself and others, yourself and objects, and between yourself and something greater. Feeling awe is key to this. However, says Phillips, we are struggling as a society because: “It’s becoming a more isolated world. And we don’t spend time naturally like we used to with loved ones.”
When we boost oxytocin it can balance cortisol levels and reduce blood pressure.
Prescription
Sex releases vast quantities of oxytocin in the brain. “If you can, more closeness is what is needed. A massage, touch, intimacy, kissing, all that helps tremendously. So whatever pace you’re at you need to up it this week,” orders Phillips.
Contact with animals and children counts too, he adds: “Spend time with people who are good friends of yours, where you truly feel at home with them.”
Conversely, he says: “Don’t spend time with people who spend 95 per cent of their time talking about themselves.”
Practising indulging your sense of astonishment is key too. Go out into nature, practice mindfulness. Listen to soothing music. And avoid ‘dark’ oxytocin; the enjoyment that can be derived from gossiping around the water cooler or putting others down.
The results
My husband has vetoed talking about our love life. However, with my tension headache unabated, he does give me a head massage.
I always love seeing my mum’s maltipoo, Molly, but I’m so busy I don’t get to catch up with either of them in person. Luckily my friend Janelle lives nearby. We meet for a coffee in the park and a big hug gives me an oxytocin hit. As does seeing her adorable one-year-old, Leo. I feel grateful for the strong relationships in my life. Thinking about this makes me feel slightly less stressed.
Endorphins
Definition
The body’s homegrown morphine, these make you feel high on life. Endorphins are peptides produced in the brain that block the perception of pain and increase feelings of wellbeing.
The endorphin family includes alpha-endorphins, gamma-endorphins and beta-endorphins. The latter have been highlighted in studies exploring social relationships and a feeling of connectedness. One theory is that it might be a reward system related to social situations.
Prescription
When Phillips coaches clients in need of a crash course in endorphins, his top piece of advice is to watch comedies for a week. There’s usually an immediate improvement in how they feel, replacing cortisol with endorphins.
The main aim is to allow yourself to laugh and smile more. “I think people don’t smile enough compared to how lucky we are to be where we are.”
While you can get endorphins from exercise, it requires the sort of exertion that gives you a training ache afterwards. Dancing is also good, says Phillips. As is cold exposure. “A cold shower is a super booster that has an immediate effect on endorphins.”
In short, says Phillips, endorphins aren’t that complicated. “Smile and laugh more and work out if you can.”
The results
One person who does make me laugh is my husband. We can be ships in the night during the week. Fortunately he comes home tipsy from a work dinner one evening and is somewhat amusing.
Seeing Janelle also makes me feel good and we laugh a lot.
With my cortisol already high, I opt not to beast myself with an endorphin inducing workout, but stick with my usual gentle yoga and climbing.
Testosterone
Definition
You probably associate testosterone with aggression, however Phillips says its primary effect is one of amplification. “Testosterone amplifies the tools you already use to improve your social status.” So while serotonin levels reflect your current social status, testosterone gives you the tools to improve it.
“One tool could be violence. However if your tool of choice is humour, or generosity, or creativity, testosterone will provide you with tools for improving it.” Both men and women have testosterone and oestrogen with men having more of the former and less of the latter. Testosterone also plays a role in risk taking and confidence boosting.
Prescription
The easiest way to boost your testosterone week is to give yourself victories, says Phillips: “Every time we feel like a loser, testosterone gets lowered, and when we feel victories it increases.”
At the end of the week, consider what you’ve done well.
Social media is crippling for self-esteem and confidence, inviting us to make unfavourable comparisons with others. Advertising is calculated to make us feel like we need things and to think we’re ‘less than’ if we don’t have the money to buy a fancy watch, car or clothes: “Ask yourself, what’s the story that we’re telling ourselves? That’s so fundamental,” says Phillips. “Often we can’t control what is fed into us, someone else picks the adverts that feed into our brains. Staying off social media will help.”
The results
I’ve struggled to fit everything in. At first, I tell myself I could have done better, but then remember about my serotonin boosting compliments and change the narrative. I already feel my dopamine levels changing, I’ve set in motion changes that will have long lasting effects.
These are all wins, as are the things I’ve enjoyed this week; my relationship with my yoga teacher; the community at Bethwall, a bouldering wall part of London Climbing Centres, where the atmosphere is always welcoming. Completing difficult bouldering ‘problems’ is precisely the sort of small victories that Phillips advocates.
The biggest win as ever though is meeting my deadline. But then, I always do. Perhaps there’s no need to be so stressed. I pay myself a compliment: “You’ve got this.”
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