Slammers still serving up flavorful pizza and indulgent bar food. Here's what to order
With the Stonewall Columbus Pride March taking place Saturday, Slammers Bar & Pizza Kitchen is sure to be, yes, slammed all weekend.
Make that more slammed than usual, because this iconic LGBTQ+-centric establishment can get pretty packed on a regular basis, especially on its popular patio, where good times and people-watching are rarely in short supply.
Slammers, which has been in business for an impressive 30 years (and recently spun off campus-area Slammie’s on High), is one of only a small number of remaining lesbian bars in the U.S.
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That’s good to know, but Slammers’ motto, which gleams in pink neon at the end of a long, wooden bar (and reappears elsewhere) captures the place’s everyone-is-welcome atmosphere at least as well: “All Walks One Groove.”
That wooden bar is part of L-shaped Slammers' vintage watering hole interior. So are stout brick walls and a pressed metal ceiling. To such classic elements, add playful and colorful adornments that include the requisite rainbow allusions, and you have a roomy tavern where old school meets new school in a festive class of its own.
As previously mentioned, Slammers’ patio is a major draw. The big and lively space offers flowering plants, comfortable and abundant seating above rainbow-striped concrete, and a great location — a few blocks east of High Street on Long Street — amid the buzz and foot and vehicular traffic of Downtown Columbus.
Draft beers (I counted eight taps) include Modelo Especial ($5), The Scientist from Seventh Son ($7) and a deeply mainstream beer that could only become controversial in deeply troubled times: Bud Light ($4).
Something stronger? Mixed drinks made with good liquors were $7, and pours were far from skimpy.
Slammers didn’t skimp on food portions, either. Note that everything is ordered at the bar — including pizzas, which were delivered relatively quickly to patio tables. Characteristically, they were packed with toppings and entertaining flavors.
Pies featured rectangular-cut, Columbus-style crusts that were thin and crisp on the perimeter and “no-ledge edge,” but soft in the middle. Because they had light golden-brown undercarriages, they just needed a little more oven finessing.
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I have no complaints about how they tasted. The hot honey pizza ($21 for a hefty large) evoked a baked charcuterie board with its pepperoni, salami, mozzarella, pickled jalapeños, chunks of tomato and red onion, chile-spiked honey and thick, sweet tomato sauce.
The pickle pie brought another blast of fun flavors ($21.50 for a large). A dairy lovers' delight, it offset a creamy sauce and dense blanket of oven-browned mozzarella and cheddar with the briny crunch of pickle chips positioned like pepperoni, and with their herb accents pointed up by a sprinkling of dill.
Slammers’ Italian sub ($9.50) had everything you’d want in a sub. Once I removed things I didn’t want — a couple overcooked black spots from an otherwise appealingly crunchy, toasted roll (more room for oven improvement) — it could easily compete with subs from good, old-school pizzerias.
Loaded with handfuls of not-bad chopped breast meat, bacon and shredded mozzarella, the massive Santa Fe chicken salad ($8.50) was bigger and better than many salads I’ve had from good local pizzerias. Also in that salad mix: iceberg lettuce, bell peppers, tomatoes, canned black olives and humdrum croutons.
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In addition to pizzeria fare, Slammers prepares sports bar-style things like a pound of wings ($12.95). Mine were appealingly dark-spotted, crispy, big and meaty. I enjoyed the not-gloppy, Buffalo-meets-Texas “spicy bbq” sauce, too.
If crispy tots indulgently loaded with melted mozzarella, stadium-style cheese sauce and warm bacon ($7.50) is something you’d happily buzzsaw through while drinking, I’m certainly not going to judge you. No one at Slammers will, either.
That judgment-free, have-a-good-time vibe is another reason I hope Slammers is around for at least 30 more years. Such longevity for a live-and-let-live business would be encouraging given all the reactionary people nowadays who go on about freedom and higher spirits, yet promote intolerance and mean-spirited policies.
Slammers Bar and Pizza Kitchen
Where: 202 E. Long St., Downtown
Contact: 614-221-8880; slammersbar.com
Kitchen hours: 4-11:30 p.m. Tuesdays through Thursdays; 4 p.m. to 12 a.m. Fridays; 3 p.m. to 12 a.m. Saturdays; 1-11:30 p.m. Sundays.
Price range: $5.25 to $23.75
Ambience: roomy and lively tavern with a vintage-looking shell, festive decor, a party-time patio, very friendly service and iconic LGBTQ+ status
Children's menu: no
Reservations: no
Accessible: yes
Liquor license: full bar
Quick click: Flavorful pizzeria fare, indulgent bar food and good times are served up in heaping helpings at this 30-year-old establishment with the inclusive motto of “All Walks One Groove.”
This article originally appeared on The Columbus Dispatch: Restaurant review: Slammers cooks up flavorful, indulgent fare
