Social Distancing Canceled Their Birthday Parties — But These Kids and Parents Still Made Things Special
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As Joyce Alencherril’s daughter, Charlotte, approached her fifth birthday, plans for a rainbow-and-unicorn-themed gymnastics party began to emerge. “She’s finally at an age where she could have opinions and make requests, so over a month ago she asked for a gymnastics birthday party with her entire class,” the Nashville, Tennessee mom says. “We booked a place and then the coronavirus reared its ugly head.”
Plans were downgraded to a smaller home celebration. Then guidelines changed so gatherings of more than 10 people were also discouraged, so the party was called off entirely. “I kept feeling like a terrible parent who just kept disappointing her almost 5-year-old,” she says.
Alencherril is not alone. Cara Dawes, a mom in Frederick, MD, was planning a Pete the Cat-themed dance party at a local recreation center for her son, J.J, who's turning 3. “It’s hard, because he doesn’t understand all of this,” she says. “He just understands that his big dance party is not happening and he’s disappointed.”
A canceled party due to the novel coronavirus might not seem like much in the grand scheme of things. For kids, it’s just another item in the long laundry list of cancellations caused by the virus, including sports, park time, playdates, or even school. But making up for postponed parties is just one way parents are showing their skills at adapting to a rapidly-evolving situation.
Even though current guidelines discourage kids from celebrating with large groups of their friends, parents are finding a way to make at-home family time just as meaningful.
Erin Norman, a mom of two in Northern Virginia, found ways to make her son’s 6-year-old birthday special even in the absence of the ninja ropes course party they had planned. “We had friends and family send birthday videos,” she says. “There was a lot of Skype planned. A friend who does voice-overs made one as Batman. We already had balloons and decorations in a box in the basement, so the whole main floor was decorated. I made a cake, and I managed to find the ingredients for his birthday dinner at a picked-over store. Our local coffee shop is doing to-go orders and we got chocolate croissants. It still felt like a very special day — it's just in the context of this new normal.”
Alencherril substituted lots of bonding time for Charlotte’s home party. “We said we’d get to celebrate as a family, and still get to have a rainbow cake and unicorn piñata, and she could make the rules for the day about what she wanted to eat and do,” she says. “She loved every moment.”
When Albuqurque mom Katie Wharton had to call off her soon-to-be-7-year-old daughter Hayley’s Chuck E. Cheese birthday party plans, she found new, at-home activities to replace them: “She’ll get a ‘spa’ day in the morning — pulling together some things that I have on hand — she’ll select all the meals, she gets to decide what we’ll play, and then we’re going to set up an ‘outdoor movie screen’ inside our house and download Onward to watch in the evening. I’m also hoping to coordinate a birthday singing event on Zoom with family all over the country.”
Emily Williams, a Jersey City mom who had to cancel an escape-room party for her 10-year-old son, Daniel, didn’t try to replicate the experience at home — and that was fine, too. “It was enough to figure out how to bake a birthday cake and get him a couple of special requests he made for dinner,” she says. It turns out, kids feel celebrated even without all the huge fanfare.
Many moms admit there’s a silver lining in doing something smaller and simpler. “In a way, it is sort of nice to relieve the pressure of party planning and just be able to focus on celebrating her by doing what my daughter loves,” says Mandy Lange, a mom in Howell, Michigan.
“I’ve enjoyed the simplicity of our new birthday plan,” Wharton agrees. “I honestly think this will be a birthday Hayley remembers, and yet it will be so low-key. She’ll get extreme focus from her parents — which can't exist when a parent is planning a party and also trying to entertain. It's just not possible. So now the focus will be on her … and not a party.” Wharton adds that this experience is just one of the ways in her life that Hayley has shown her ability to bounce back from setbacks: “She has learned to become more adaptive, which is an amazing life skill to possess!”
The current situation has also shown parents how their kids can rise to the occasion. “Daniel taken it with a lot of grace,” Williams says. “He understands we're in special circumstances beyond our control.”
Alencherril says the same of Charlotte. “She’s probably been the most resilient of all of us,” she says. “She keeps us grounded.”
Parents should remember there's always the possibility of rescheduling for a later date — a half-birthday party perhaps — though no parents are making promises, fearing that they won't be able to keep them. Still, Williams says, "We're hoping to reschedule whenever we're past this crisis. We imagine we'll all feel like celebrating by then!"
15 Ways to Celebrate a Kid’s Birthday During Social Distancing
Group “Happy Birthday” sing-along on Zoom.
Make and decorate rainbow cupcakes.
In-home makeovers with mani/pedis and crazy hair chalk.
Backyard obstacle course with trophies for the winners.
Air-popped popcorn and a Disney movie marathon.
Top-your-own pizza party with homemade pizza dough.
At-home karaoke contest.
Tie a string to the big present, and thread the string all over the house — the birthday child has to follow it to find the gift.
A kids-make-the-rules day.
Scrapbooking with birthday cards and letters, plus pictures from the past year.
A top-your-own ice cream- or brownie- sundae bar.
Indoor treasure hunt.
A kid's room-makeover day, where the birthday child get to decide where to put the furniture and how to decorate the walls.
At-home pinata smash.
An indoor campout with sleeping bags on the living room floor (and maybe even a pop-up tent!)
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