Social distancing and child custody: How the coronavirus is complicating co-parenting

Dawson White
·4 min read

As people around the United States social distance to help slow the spread of the novel coronavirus, some are finding these preventative measures have adverse effects on child custody arrangements. ​​

Health professionals and first responders on the front lines of the coronavirus fight are finding themselves especially affected.

What’s happening?

Tiffany DeMarcus, a nurse in Ohio, says the father of her child won’t return their young daughter because Tiffany is a nurse and has been exposed to COVID-19, WDTN reported.

Some have suggested Tiffany should quit her job, but she says it’s not an option.​​

“I have been asked by many people if I can just quit my job so that I can just be a mom and I am very angry,” DeMarcus told the outlet. “I am a single mom. This is how I provide for my children. I can’t afford thousands of dollars in legal fees to fight.”

In Oklahoma, a woman posted a photo of a court order to social media dictating that her children be put in her husband’s custody “due to respondent’s exposure to coronavirus,” KFOR reported.

However, the court document explains the decision was also made due to alleged negligence by the woman, according to the outlet, and the judge ultimately placed a gag order on all parties to curtail the spread of misinformation about the case, according to the outlet.

Lisa Henning Low, an emergency room doctor in California, went to pick up her 7- and 10-year-old daughters from her ex-husband and ended up calling police after she says he pulled a gun and refused to let her take her children, KTVU reported. ​​

When police arrived, her husband told officers he was worried Low was infecting their daughters because of her job in an emergency room, KTVU reported. ​​

No gun was found in the man’s home, according to the outlet.

What do experts say?

While custody laws vary by jurisdiction, matrimonial and family law attorney Marilyn Chinitz says parents risk being held in contempt for not complying with court-ordered custody agreements, according to an article she wrote for Business Insider.​​

“Weighing that risk against the potential life and death consequences of contracting and sharing coronavirus is something that the court is now grappling with, and it weighs heavily on the minds of parents of who want to spend time with their children in the face of a threat of transmission to the child,” she wrote.

In Franklin County, Ohio, Domestic Court Judge Dana Preisse said parents have to have a court order to deviate from agreements, WDTN reported.

“You are to follow whatever shared parenting or custody plan that you have until there is another court order and to punish these folks because they are saving lives and are out there on the front line, you know, it’s just not right,” she told the outlet.

Brian Putnam, a family law attorney in Oklahoma City, said it’s hard to wrap his mind around working in the medical field being a legitimate reason to remove a parent’s children, KFOR reported.

“Oklahoma has an enormous medical community so if you play that out to its logical conclusion, everybody in the medical field would be at risk of losing their kids in a custody battle just because they work in a medical facility,” Putnam told the outlet.

Tips for co-parenting during coronavirus

Stephanie Stecklair, a family law attorney in Pennsylvania, wrote a guide for how separated and divorced parents can best navigate the custody complications that have arisen during the pandemic. ​​

The key? Communication.

Here are Stecklair’s tips:

  • Leave the past in the past and be as cooperative as possible — everyone is affected by COVID-19.

  • Keep your co-parent and medical providers informed of your child’s health, especially if they’ve been exposed to the virus.

  • Discuss how you or your child’s exposure to the public could impact your custody schedule.

  • Don’t “assume anything about the other parent’s household or exposure.”

  • Don’t make unilateral decisions about the custody schedule.

  • Keep a list of changes to the schedule in writing — emails and texts will suffice.

You can read her full list here.