My Take: Societal expectations during the Christmas season

In a 2019 news.gallup.com article, “More Americans Celebrating a Secular Christmas,” Zach Hrynowski notes that the percentage of people “describing their Christmas celebrations as ‘strongly religious’ has dropped to 35%, down from about half in Gallup's prior measures in 2005 and 2010.”

What accounts for the steady decline in the observance of Christmas as the occasion for "strongly religious" celebrations? The main reasons seem obvious. Commercial interests increasingly dominate the Christmas season. Advertisers and retailers have a field day at this time of the year. Societal expectations also play a significant role. Many people feel compelled to buy gifts, prepare sumptuous meals, entertain guests, attend concerts, dinners, parties, and glue themselves to the TV for those all-important football games. The conventional wisdom seems to be that such activities are what Christmas is all about.

My own view is that the “pull” of societal expectation is very strong. The 20th-century philosopher, Martin Heidegger (1879-1976), was particularly attuned to this phenomenon in Being and Time (Blackwell Publishers Ltd., 2001) in which he describes two ways of existing, “authentic” and “inauthentic.” By the former he does not mean “better than.” Heidegger is not engaged in the process of judging people, as if authentic people are morally superior to inauthentic people. He is simply providing a description of two ways of existing he sees in the world. The German word commonly translated as “authentic” is “eigentlich.” But a more literal translation of this adjective is “owned.” So, I like to think of the distinction between being authentic and being inauthentic in terms of a binary choice: Either “I” own my existence and decision-making process, or I have surrendered it to “someone else.” Heidegger refers to the “someone else” as the “they” [das Man]. Authentic individuals own their existence; inauthentic individuals have surrendered it to the “they.”

Unlike the neighbors who live next door, or one’s friends or coworkers, Heidegger thinks “they” are “indefinite,” “inconspicuous,” and anonymous. So, it is difficult to ascertain or pin down who “they” are. Nevertheless, “they” dominate and rule over the life of the inauthentic person: “We take pleasure and enjoy ourselves as they take pleasure; we read, see, and judge about literature and art as they see and judge … we find ‘shocking’ what they find shocking.” (Being And Time) The influence of the “they” may show up in answers to questions like “Given those two candidates, why did you vote in that election?” or “Why did you clap at the end of that awful speech?” Answer: “Well, isn’t that what I am expected or supposed to do?” “They” tell me to vote in elections and clap at the end of speeches. And I must live up to the dictates of the “they.”

We are reminded, at this time of the year, that stress and anxiety levels run higher than normal. Feeling emotionally “down” is common. Is there a remedy or antidote to this? A Heideggerian inspired suggestion: In the rush to prepare a meal, attend a social function, or buy those last-minute gifts, say to yourself, “I’m sending this Christmas card or attending that dinner, not because I am supposed to, but because I really and truly want to.” Live up to your own expectations, not the expectations of others. You may find that you engage in fewer but more meaningful activities.

Hopefully, the stress you experience as you prepare for Christmas will at least partially dissipate. For some this may even mean replacing the straitjacket of social conformity with a renewed desire to participate in a “strongly religious” celebration.

— John Kearney is a retired philosophy professor at St. Joseph's University in Philadelphia. He resides in Waterloo, Iowa.

This article originally appeared on The Holland Sentinel: My Take: Societal expectations during the Christmas season