Someone Tell Biden Not to Riff on John Wayne
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President Biden’s trip to Asia for the G20 summit fit well within a defining narrative of his presidency: a record of accomplishment, enrobed in bafflement at the man himself.
The G20, a group of the world’s 20 largest economies whose leaders meet once a year to hug it out, convened in India late last week. (Absentees included Russian President Vladimir Putin, who wasn’t sure how he’d be received, and Chinese Premier Xi Jinping, who has come to believe he’s too cool for school.)
The whole thing wasn’t a winner. The leaders’ statement on the Russia-Ukraine war was limp, refusing to directly assign blame, and instead merely noting, “All states must refrain from the threat or use of force to seek territorial acquisition.” The Biden administration’s spin was that it was a win for any consensus statement to come out, given the relationships many of the G20 nations still maintain with Russia. The Ukrainians, however, were mad.
Other than that, major diplomatic progress was achieved! The administration, along with other G20 leaders, announced the launch of an economic corridor connecting and integrating India with the Middle East and Europe. Though this was not said explicitly, it’s intended to counter China’s growing sphere of influence through its sprawling, decadelong Belt and Road Initiative.
After the G20, Biden stopped in Vietnam, where leaders announced another new “strategic relationship” to bring the countries closer together in, again, another effort to counter China’s influence in the region.
While all of this was happening overseas, however, the domestic political conversation was consumed with renewed chatter about Biden’s age, following a couple of polls that showed, again, how much of a hang-up it is for voters of all parties. We don’t know if Nguyễn Phú Trọng, general secretary of the Communist Party of Vietnam, was briefed on the age discussion in advance, but he really hammed it up for the press. Here’s Trọng during a meeting with the U.S. delegation, via interpreter, from the official White House transcript:
And I still vividly recall how you looked like, Mr. President, when we met with each other in the U.S. the last time around. [Laughter.] But today and as I see you again, you have nary aged a day. And, I would say, you look even better than before. [Laughter.]
I’ll say that every feature of you, Mr. President, is very much complimentary of your image. I myself have gray hair as well, but I don’t seem to be able to re-create the [inaudible]. [Laughter.]
The AFP also reported Trọng telling Biden, “I think you look very young, handsome … you have beautiful white hair.”
Now, isn’t that just the sweetest thing? It is worth noting that Trọng himself is no spring chicken, at 79 years old. Per Bloomberg, Trọng didn’t want to be reappointed in 2021, but the party insisted. “I’m old and not in good health,” Trọng said then. It’s interesting to see a political culture in which the aging politicians don’t vigorously dispute that time affects them. The Vietnamese Communist Party keeps it real.
At a press conference in Vietnam, meanwhile, Biden was set to take five questions. One question was about how there was no agreement among G20 participants about fossil fuels, and how concerned the president was about this “lack of consensus.”
Here, again from the White House transcript, is a snippet of Biden’s response, beginning in its 20th paragraph.
And there’s a—my—my brother loves having—there’s famous lines from movies that he always quotes. You know, it’s—and one—one of them is—there’s—there’s a movie about John Wayne. He’s an Indian scout. And they’re trying to get the Ap—I think it was the Apache—one—one of the great tribes of America back on the reservation.
And he’s standing with a Union so—so he’s—they’re all on their—and they’re on their horses in their saddles. And there’s three or four Indians in headdresses, and the Union soldiers—and the Union soldiers are basically saying to the Indians, “Come with me, we’ll take care of you. We’ll—everything will be good.”
And the Indian scou—the Indian looks at John Wayne and points to the Union soldier and says, “He’s a lying, dog-faced pony soldier.”
Well, there’s a lot of lying, dog-faced pony soldiers out there about—about global warming, but not anymore. All of a sudden, they’re all realizing it’s a problem. And there’s nothing like seeing the light.
For—and let’s see. I’m just following my orders here.
Staff, is there anybody I haven’t spoken to?
… All we’ll note here is that the “lying, dog-faced pony soldier” reference is not new to Biden’s repertoire. There was a library’s worth of internet literature about the phrase in 2020, when Biden asked a New Hampshire college student (also known as a “voter”) if she’d ever been to a caucus. She said she had, and Biden responded, “No you haven’t. You’re a lying, dog-faced pony soldier.”
At the end of Biden’s five questions that he was scheduled to take, he said, “But I tell you what, I don’t know about you, but I’m going to go to bed.” It’s critical that his reelection team eliminate the phrase “I’m going to go to bed” from his vocabulary, through whatever means necessary.
Of course, he didn’t stop. He began responding to a shouted question about his meeting with President Xi’s No. 2, Li Qiang, saying they “talked about making sure that the Third World—the—excuse me—‘Third World’—the—the—the Southern Hemisphere had access to change.” (Maybe he was looking for “Global South”?)
As he was midsentence, though, White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre cut him off, saying over the loudspeakers, “Thank you everybody, this ends the press conference.” The music began to play, and Biden obeyed orders and grabbed his stuff to leave.
“These five-day trips around the world are no problem,” Biden had told a reporter earlier in the week. And indeed, he’d filled the quick trip with some true successes. But it was definitely time to go to bed.
