Donald Trump treated reporters on Tuesday to what appeared to be a spoken-word poem about his feelings on allegations of a quid pro quo with Ukraine.
His remarks, penned in enormous letters with black marker, were helpfully transcribed and photographed for anyone who might want to stage a performance of their own.
The internet obliged, setting his words to music in the style of several bands. Among the hits were a Ramones-style punk rock version, set to a pretty impressive video in which Trump’s singing really gets the crowd going:
somebody on twitter today: trump's weird hand-scrawled denial today sounds like a ramones song.— Alex Kliment (@SaoSasha) November 21, 2019
Then there was the Dashboard Confessional-esque emo version. The voice here is virtually indistinguishable from Chris Carrabba, who would surely sympathize with the president’s emotional turmoil:
Emo Trump recites poem on White House lawn pic.twitter.com/rAD3xRjX4L— Nick Lutsko (@NickLutsko) November 20, 2019
Multiple musicians created Smiths-style versions of the song, suggesting that perhaps what Morrissey does is not actually very hard to do and every Smiths song sounds the same and why do people think he is talented:
.@pattonoswalt made a tweet that showed Trump’s handwritten notes and the caption was simply “Morrissey voice:”.— RuPaul Giamatti (@BenJamminAsh) November 21, 2019
Needless to say, I got inspired and put WAY to much effort into this. pic.twitter.com/heOiOhl90P
Others wrote their own versions of the song, including this soon-to-be pop hit:
My cover of the trump song “I want nothing”— SeñorHettler🌎🌈 🆘 🍑🌹🌅 (@senorhettler) November 20, 2019
Written in September after congressional investigations started into his interactions with the new president of Ukraine, Zelensky.#TrumpResign pic.twitter.com/KLAF0G2794
Still others took an academic approach to the tune, offering analyses of song structure:
Interesting that Trump's new song, "Quid Pro Quo", starts out with a straight-forward x2 chorus of "I want nothing" before going into any verses pic.twitter.com/w1dJjARVAi— Emily Rosenfeld (@anti_dentite) November 20, 2019
Now it’s time to pull out the big guns. Looking at you, Thom Yorke: Radiohead could do a mind-blowing version with soaring, plaintive vocals blaming the whole thing on Rudy Giuliani. Or perhaps a whispered Billie Eilish account with a lowercase title: covfefe? A mournful Drake tune recalling the days when Zelenskiy used to called him on his cellphone?
The possibilities are limitless.