'Sounds like a Ramones song': Trump's Ukraine remarks become punk rock hit

Matthew Cantor and Tom McCarthy

Donald Trump treated reporters on Tuesday to what appeared to be a spoken-word poem about his feelings on allegations of a quid pro quo with Ukraine.

His remarks, penned in enormous letters with black marker, were helpfully transcribed and photographed for anyone who might want to stage a performance of their own.

The internet obliged, setting his words to music in the style of several bands. Among the hits were a Ramones-style punk rock version, set to a pretty impressive video in which Trump’s singing really gets the crowd going:

Then there was the Dashboard Confessional-esque emo version. The voice here is virtually indistinguishable from Chris Carrabba, who would surely sympathize with the president’s emotional turmoil:

Multiple musicians created Smiths-style versions of the song, suggesting that perhaps what Morrissey does is not actually very hard to do and every Smiths song sounds the same and why do people think he is talented:

Others wrote their own versions of the song, including this soon-to-be pop hit:

Still others took an academic approach to the tune, offering analyses of song structure:

Now it’s time to pull out the big guns. Looking at you, Thom Yorke: Radiohead could do a mind-blowing version with soaring, plaintive vocals blaming the whole thing on Rudy Giuliani. Or perhaps a whispered Billie Eilish account with a lowercase title: covfefe? A mournful Drake tune recalling the days when Zelenskiy used to called him on his cellphone?

The possibilities are limitless.