‘Special Forces’ Recap: Tom Sandoval Cries on the Toilet Over ‘Scandoval’

It pains me to say that the most hated man on reality television, Tom Sandoval, has a pretty good shot at winning this season of Special Forces—maybe even more than his aggrieved ex, Ariana Madix, has at the Mirrorball Trophy on Dancing With the Stars. For one thing, this man has had a (deservedly) tough year and desperately needs a W. Second, if you watch Vanderpump Rules, you know that Sandoval works out a ton and has ninja-level agility. He was also just having an affair with a 28-year-old, so he’s probably in the greatest shape of his life.

But before Sandoval (maybe) makes it to the finish line, he has to do what he really came to Special Forces to do: paint a sob story about his role in Scandoval. On tonight’s episode, the Tom Tom owner opened up about his breakup with Madix being publicized everywhere, including on CNN. Unsurprisingly, none of his fellow competitors, all dealing with excruciatingly sore body parts and near-frostbite, really seemed to care.

“It was a pretty juicy fucking scandal,” Sandoval tells his contestants after their first challenge. “If you opened up Instagram, you would’ve seen me [and] Ariana every day. People were messaging me paragraphs of vicious—like, so visceral—hatred.”

Tom Sandoval Returns to TV to ‘Punish’ Himself on ‘Special Forces’

In his confessional, he recalls a time when Bravo viewers were excited to see him in public. “Now, people see me as a complete narcissist… creeper vibes,” he says. “I’m definitely not here to run away. I want to punish myself. I think I deserve it.”

Arguably, punishing yourself on your own terms (and on a hit television where you’ll get handsomely paid for it) is not the same as taking accountability for your actions. I also doubt that Madix, who’s probably busy learning the foxtrot right now, gives a hoot about whatever he’s putting himself through on this show. Sandoval also just manages to make himself look worse in this episode during a boxing challenge where he continues throwing punches at his opponent, The Bachelor star Nick Viall, after he’s been ordered to stop.

Sandoval then gets a good beating from Jack Osbourne, of all people, during a final round, leaving him with a bloody nose. This is actually the one moment where I felt bad for Sandoval and everyone else involved. Apparently people can still beat the crap out of each other on reality TV, as long as it takes place at a fake military training facility? Anyway, Sandoval sobs in a toilet afterward, before the Directing Staff questions him about his piss-poor performance.

The Post-Scandoval ‘Vanderpump Rules’ Finale Is the Wildest 90 Minutes You’ll Ever Watch

“I had a hell of a past three months,” Sandoval says. “I had an affair with another woman. She was also on the show. It was just the perfect storm. My publicists had never seen anything like it. A reality star having an affair on CNN?

“It’s so stupid,” he continues. “It became this Team Ariana thing. They sold $200,000 worth of merch in, like, two weeks. Seeing people I’ve been friends with for well over a decade just turn on me. It was just so exhausting.”

Former operative/host Billy Billingham tells Sandoval that he’s playing the “victim” instead of owning what he did. And Jason Fox instructs Sandoval to make his time on Special Forces his “new start.” Sandoval agrees before being sent back to his bunk with a bag over his head.

Time will tell if the disgraced Bravolebrity can survive his self-assigned punishment. So far, his infamous white manicure has not.

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