Spilling the tea: Austin author Wendi Aarons to talk aging boldly at the Driskill

“I didn’t know that I’d actually start to flourish, not wither, in middle-age,” Austin author and humorist Wendi Aarons writes in her new memoir “I’m Wearing Tunics Now.”

The book, which has the tagline “On Getting Older, Better and a Hell of a Lot Louder,” traces Aarons’ journey through adulthood. She evolves from a dispirited grunt in the Hollywood machine to an accidental stay-at-home mom in Austin’s tony suburbs to a low-level internet celeb who made waves with a satirical takedown of a brand manager for Always maxi-pads. She chronicles a mid-life political awakening, a losing battle with her metabolism and adventures in Botox at Westlake Dermatology.

Along the way, she is clear-eyed, funny and very warm. The book reads like a love letter to her Gen X sisterhood. She offers a beacon of hope to women who are struggling to find their stride as they crack their second half century.

“I want you to read this book and laugh but also relate and feel less alone,” she writes in the introduction. “I want you to understand that you don’t have to be pigeonholed into a boring middle-aged life or a perfect mom life or any kind of life that makes you feel unseen and unhappy. I want to inspire you to speak up and act out and not wait for your hoped-for life to find you.”

At a “Tunics and Tea” event at the Driskill on Jan. 29, Aarons will read excerpts from the book and participate in a Q&A with Texas Monthly executive editor Kathy Blackwell.

We hit up Wendi for her thoughts about life in new Austin, Texas, politics and the changing landscape for lady part writers.

Deborah Sengupta Stith: Since this book really speaks to the analog set of society, let’s use a “Brady Bunch” framework to set this up. How did Gen X become the “Jan” of generations, somehow lost between the boomers and the millennials?

Wendi Aarons: Do you mean the generation that regularly gets left off of lists of the generations? Gen X is the smallest, and we’re also the most self-sufficient and least attention-seeking generation. We’re the “latchkey kids” that learned to take care of ourselves and to not expect a reward for it. We also have one foot in analog and one foot in digital, which I think is amazing. Did Marcia grow up with a rotary phone and now easily navigates an iPhone, Twitter and Final Cut Pro? No, she did not. But Jan sure did. Whatever.

You broke into writing with a piece about maxi-pads and you have a hilarious chapter in this book about menopause. How has the landscape for lady part writing changed in the time between the two?

It’s changed dramatically. Back when my maxi-pad letter was first on McSweeneys, they posted only three to four pieces a week and the majority of the content was written by men. Now they run three to four pieces of satire a day on the site, with a lot of it written by women about topics like childcare, periods, pregnancy, etc. There are a ton of women humor writers now, compared to when I started out, and they’re not afraid to shed light on feminine issues that were previously considered to be more private.

It’s kind of shocking that perimenopause and menopause have only recently entered the public conversation because 50% of the world experiences them. But now even big names like Naomi Watts, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Brooke Shields have started companies that address this phase of life, and I think that’s great. Well, besides the $90 menopause vitamins GOOP sells. Nobody needs $90 vitamins.

In the book, you describe going through a political awakening about a decade ago. What has been the most satisfying moment of your life as an activist? What has been the most frustrating?

I wrote about going to the Capitol in July 2013 to watch Wendy Davis’s filibuster for reproductive rights, and how that changed my life. I’d never before experienced such a collective show of protest, strength, and making your voice heard like I did that night. President Obama and Alice Walker have both shared the saying, “We’re the ones we’ve been waiting for” and it really hit home with me in midlife. I care deeply about the world we’re leaving our kids, and realized it was time to get to work with like-minded friends and allies because nobody was coming to save us.

There are so many incredible women in Texas fighting the good fight, and that helps me sleep at night. But hands down, the most frustrating part of the work is when people don’t show up — due to apathy, voter suppression, or other reasons — to vote. Or when white women do vote, but vote against their own self-interest. It’s like if turtles voted for the We Hate Turtles party. I don’t get it.

As someone who has lived in the fancy part of Austin for a while, what sort of coping strategies do you recommend for those of us who live in neighborhoods that have recently been fancified?

To be clear, our house in the fancy part of Austin cost $312,000 in 1999. Now you can’t even buy a moldy mattress someone threw in the greenbelt for that amount. But my main coping strategy advice is to keep your sense of humor. Is there something funny about a woman bringing a $1,500 purse to the Little League field? Yes. Is it even more funny when you spit sunflower seeds into her purse? Yes, but don’t do that. Stay true to your values and try to not compare what you have with what the people that drive in the Rich Bitch lane on MoPac have.

What's the best part of new Austin?

The Hermes store on South Congress has really changed my life because now I can simply hop on a Lime scooter and zoom on down to buy a few $1,000 throw pillows. Just kidding. I do like that we have more non-stop flights from ABIA now.

What's the worst part of new Austin?

Hypothetically, if your Volvo lightly tapped one of those pub vehicles being pedaled by 10 screaming out-of-town women wearing pink cowboy hats and feather boas, what kind of bail money would you be looking at?

Beyond tunics, what are three other essential wardrobe items for women of a, ahem, certain age?

Confidence. Wisdom. And a decent pair of oversized black sunglasses.

What is the most meaningful response to the book that you’ve received from a reader?

I hesitated to write a book about myself for a long time because my life is, fortunately, ordinary. I haven’t climbed Mt. Everest. I’ll probably never be asked to be on "Dancing With The Stars." However, my life is definitely relatable and sometimes that’s even better. Readers have sent me notes and comments saying, “I thought I was the only one that felt like I didn’t fit in with the other moms at school,” or “Yes, it’s so hard to make friends in midlife.” But my favorite responses are the ones that simply say, “Thank you. I really needed a good laugh.” Who doesn’t?

'Tunics and Tea' at the Driskill

Wendi Aarons will read excerpts from her book and participate in a Q&A with Kathy Blackwell from Texas Monthly. Ticket price includes the Driskill's afternoon tea featuring assorted scones, tea sandwiches and miniature desserts. The event benefits Dress For Success Austin and attendees are encouraged to bring donations of new and like new business attire for women.

When: 4 p.m. Jan. 29

Where: Driskill Hotel, 604 Brazos St.

Cost: $60, or $90 with a copy of "I'm Wearing Tunics Now."

Information: Advance tickets available on Tock.

This article originally appeared on Austin American-Statesman: Austin author Wendi Aarons spills the tea on aging at the Driskill