This Spirit Day, Learn How to Be a Good Ally to LGBTQIA+ Friends
Bullying and harassment have affected my life since I can remember. In high school I was a victim of bullying because of my sexual orientation, and allyship was lacking in my environment. It was not a safe or welcoming space for me, and I felt as if I had no support from the school administration. So I dropped out of school and got my GED instead.
Unfortunately I'm not alone in this experience. According to GLSEN’s 2017 National School Climate Survey, 87.3 percent of LGBTQIA+ students report being harassed, 70.1 percent of those based on sexual orientation, and 59.1 percent based on their gender expression. That’s why having active allies is so important. Being an ally is one of the best ways to make it known that bullying and harassment will not be tolerated. The more allies exist in your environment, the more power and support you feel you have over bullies.
No matter who you are, everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect. If I had allies to support me during times of bullying, things could have gone differently, and I might have been able to stay in school rather than leave and pursue my GED on my own. Here are some ways to be a good ally for your LGBTQIA+ friends and loved ones.
How to Be Part of Making a Safer Space
Everyone has the right to feel safe and wanted in their communities. Creating safe spaces can mean many things, such as inviting a friend to your lunch table or starting a gay-straight alliance in your school. Reaching out to help someone you know has been targeted by bullies and socializing with people who will accept them for who they are can help reduce stress, anxiety, and depression.
Show Extra Love to LGBTQIA+ Friends
Minority groups, like LGBTQIA+ youth, are more susceptible to bullying and violence. According to Clare Kenny, director of youth engagement at GLAAD, “Allies can be incredibly important figures in the lives of LGBTQIA+ people, especially youth. An LGBTQIA+ person’s journey to self-acceptance can be extremely isolating and scary, as they fear rejection and being misunderstood or harmed just for being themselves. Allies can save lives through affirming and embracing a person’s identity."
That’s why Spirit Day is the perfect time to support your LGBTQIA+ friends and family through allyship. On October 17, millions will wear purple for Spirit Day as a symbol of support for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, and asexual youth, and to take a stand against bullying. Kenny explains how events like these contribute to the community in much greater ways: “Allies are also a crucial part of the larger LGBTQIA+ movement,” she says. “It is important for allies of LGBTQIA+ people to actively involve themselves in our fight for acceptance in all parts of life: school, work, family, society, culture, etc.”
Ask Your Friends How They Want to Be Supported
Being an ally is more than just standing up for someone in instances of bullying; it’s also about helping them feel safe and wanted with the most wholehearted allyship possible. For instance, if you're aware of LGBTQIA+ youth in your community, make an effort to get to know them. Allyship can happen before bullying and harassment even occur, and can prevent bullying from happening at all.
If you find yourself supporting someone who is in the midst of being bullied, make an effort to check up on them in a way that makes them feel comfortable. Ask questions such as:
Is there anything I can do to help you in this situation?
Is harassment still occurring? Do you need help reporting it?
Do you have a safe space to go to during and after (school, work, etc.)?
Do you need someone to talk to?
Showing genuine concern about the situation can make a person feel safe in otherwise uncomfortable circumstances and give them the space to speak up. After my difficulties in school, I founded the Kind Mind Collective to change the way we communicate kindness and compassion in our communities. I also wrote Life on the Outside, a comic book that follows Asher Phoenix, a nonbinary person of color in a high school setting.
Through the comic, we see a perfect form of allyship in Asher’s peer, Shelly, when she sees Asher being bullied for being a “freak” and then takes corrective action: She learns more about Asher, asks important questions, and helps them report the abuse to school administrators. Below is part of the comic:
Spirit Day
Courtesy Abbey PerlThese are easy steps to take to be an ally in real life. Being an ally is extremely important, especially in today's climate, and can make a huge impact on someone’s life, but being an active ally can help save someone’s life.
Read more stories about LGBTQIA+ identity:
Selfies Help Trans and Nonbinary People Create Our Own Narrative
Why I Marked "F" as the Gender on My License Even Though I'm Nonbinary
Now, watch an Allure Editor's entire everyday makeup routine in real time:
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Originally Appeared on Allure
