Standing up for my decidedly bossy Apple Watch | Memmott
I like to sit. Who doesn’t?
It’s fun. You don’t have to be doing anything when you sit, though you could pick up a book, or a newspaper, to make it seem like you’re doing something. But it’s OK just to sit.
Though it’s not OK for your Apple Watch.
I’m just sitting, maybe thinking, or trying to remember what it was I just forgot, and my new Apple Watch shakes. On its screen it tells me, “Time to stand! Stand up and move a little for one minute.”
I hop right out of my chair, after I maintain standing for a minute, my watch shakes the screen and tells me, “You did it! You’re another hour toward your stand goal!”
It’s a little strange that I can earn points just by getting out of a chair and standing, but I think the idea is that, if you stand enough, you’ll live forever.
I wouldn’t mind living forever, and if I did, I would have time enough to figure out all the other things my Apple Watch does besides telling me to stand.
My watch is full of surprises. I just flicked my wrist and there was Bernie Sanders talking. So that’s another thing my watch does. It shows Bernie Sanders talking.
If I could figure out the volume on the watch, I could listen to Bernie Sanders or any other government official who has bought time on my wrist. That would be OK.
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My wife, Cindy, who has had an Apple Watch for a while, tells me that I can also talk into my watch, sending emails and text messages.
If I have a sudden fall, my watch will also summon assistance. Tough, as I lay there waiting for the Geneseo Fire Department, my watch would also probably tell me to stand.
I think I’m going to join a support group to help me master my watch’s features. At the first meeting, I’ll stand (my watch will appreciate that) and say:
“Hi, my name is Jim. I’d like to know how to get the Apple Watch on.”
Yes, I’m sort of stalled at Apple Watch 101. The band that came with the watch is, shall I say, challenging.
In essence, Apple has forsaken a buckle system that has worked hundreds (thousands?) of years. It’s been replaced by a system that required the steady hands of a safecracker to get the watch on your wrist.
Mostly, you try for 10 minutes and then go ask a parent, friend or, in my case, a spouse, to put it on for you. Essentially, the watch throws you back to when you were the only kindergartener who couldn’t tie his own shoes.
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All in all, there’s a learning curve with this watch that wasn’t as steep with my starter watches years ago.
Back in the wristwatch Stone Age, a Timex, Casio, or Bulova didn’t do much more than tell you the time.
Those watches didn’t have to be charged every other hour. You had to wind them, though not that often. Maybe they told you what day it was, but they never told you the weather, just as they didn’t tell you your resting heart rate.
I wonder if Apple might go retro and create a watch that only told time, a watch that didn’t try to get you to live forever and never told you to stand.
Actually, as I sit and research watches, I realize that there are timepieces out there that aren’t bossy. Timex is alive and ticking, sometimes at a relatively low price point.
Less might be more with a watch from Timex, but, I’m too busy to make the switch. My wrist is shaking. I’ve got to stand. Time flies when you’re having fun.
From his home in Geneseo, Livingston County, retired senior editor Jim Memmott, writes Remarkable Rochester, who we were, who we are. He can be reached at jmemmott@gannett.com or write Box 274, Geneseo, NY 14454
This article originally appeared on Rochester Democrat and Chronicle: Standing up for a decidedly bossy Apple Watch: Jim Memmott
